I wasn’t even sure if I had any breath left in my body. It felt like he’d taken it all with those words. But he hadn’t, because all of the air within me only became depleted the moment he looked down at the floor then back up at me and whispered, “I wasn’t expecting you, either, you know.”
Simon placed his wine glass down on the counter and took something out of his back pocket.
It was his fortune from tonight. He smacked it down on the granite then said, “Happy birthday.”
I stood there and watched as he then left to go back to his room.
The small strip of paper was taunting me. I picked it up and read it.
The greatest risk is not taking one.I’d just taken off my shirt to get ready for bed. When I turned around, the sight of Bridget leaning in my doorway was completely unexpected. Her eyes were fixated on my naked torso, and I noticed she had my fortune in her hand. She swallowed before speaking.
“I might not have wanted you to read my letter, but I meant everything I wrote in it.”
I took a few tentative steps toward her. “Like wanting me?” I didn’t need to hear her say the words to know—I was certain she wanted me. Her eyes and body language had told me that from the first time I met her. Yet I wanted to hear her say them aloud—to accept that it was okay for her to want me.
She looked down. A pink blush tinted her beautiful skin when she looked up. “Yes. I want you more than anything that I’ve ever wanted in my life. Honestly, it scares me how much I’m attracted to you.”
Those words were exactly what I wanted to hear, yet I knew there was a but coming. “Can we just stop there, and I’ll tell you the feeling is mutual? Because I have a feeling whatever you say from this point on, I’m not going to like as much.”
She smiled sadly. “What happens when your residency is over, Simon? Where will you go?”
I nodded, knowing what she was getting at. “Back to England. It’s my home, Bridget. Living here has never felt anything but temporary for me.”
“And do you want to have a family someday?”
I looked down and shook my head. “No. I don’t”
“It’s true that the greatest risk may be not taking one. But a risk is taking a chance when you have the potential to gain or lose something in the future. When that future is certain that you’re going to lose that something—it’s not taking a risk, Simon. It’s jumping out of a plane without a parachute and expecting to land on your feet anyway.”
Of course, she was right. As much as I didn’t want to hear it, deep down, I knew she was doing the right thing—for both of us. I wanted her so badly that I couldn’t focus—but it wouldn’t just be sex with us. Even I knew that much. “I understand.”
Bridget hesitated at my door for a while, looking torn. Finally, she said, “Can I just lie with you for a little while? I’m not ready to be alone, and it’s been a really long time since anyone has held me.”
She mistook my delayed response as a no.
Turning before I could answer, she shook her head and started to walk out of my room. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. It’s not appropriate or fair.”
“Bridget, wait!”
She froze with her back to me. I walked over and stood so close that I felt her body shaking. “I want to lie with you. There’s nothing more that I would like right now. It’s just…” I couldn’t believe I was embarrassed to say anything to her after the show I’d put on last week. But I was. “…it’s just that I’m already hard from just being around you, and there’s no way in the world that’s going to change if you get into my bed. If that won’t upset you…if you don’t mind, I’d love it if you would join me in my bed. Maybe I could put a pillow between us so we can spoon without you getting forked.”
She smiled. “I’d love that. Just for a little while.”
I took Bridget’s hand and led her to my bed. Once she got in, I slipped in behind her, put a pillow over my groin, and wrapped my arms around her waist. I pulled her flush against me and held her as if my life depended on it. My hard-on was excruciatingly painful, and I had the strongest urge to thrust back and forth against her soft ass—pillow or not. I could’ve probably come just from dry humping her fully clothed. But I didn’t even attempt to move. Instead, I focused on listening to the sound of her breathing. It was jagged for a long time, but eventually it smoothed out, and I could feel that her body had also relaxed.