It was the middle of the night now as I forced myself out of my chair and out to the parking lot. My plan was to get some shut-eye then pack a bag in the morning and go wherever the wind took me.
Halfway home, my phone rang. I assumed it was Gia calling to check on me.
But it wasn’t.
The name on the caller ID was definitely not who I was expecting.
Beth.
Beth?
Beth was my best friend growing up, until I ruined things by sleeping with her. We still kept in touch from time to time after she moved to Arizona, but why would she be calling me at this time of night? Very odd.
I picked up. “Beth?”
“Heath. I’m sorry to be calling you so late.”
“What’s up?”
There was a long pause before she said, “My dad. Heath…he died today. It just happened earlier tonight. He collapsed after dinner in front of the television. Massive heart attack. I’ve been calling all of our friends and family.”
“Oh my God.” I immediately pulled over onto a dirt road and placed my hand on my forehead. “Are you okay?”
“We’re all pretty shaken up. I think I’m just still in shock. It happened so fast.”
“How’s your mother?”
“Devastated.”
Beth’s dad, Pat, had been like a father to me growing up. This news was jarring and couldn’t have come at a worse time. I’d already felt like my world had completely fallen apart, but apparently there was still room for more devastation.
“Shit, Beth. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.”
“I figured you’d want to know. You guys were so close at one time. And I know he’d want me to reach out to you.”
“I wish I even had the right words right now. Nothing I can say is gonna help.”
She was crying. “Just hearing your voice helps.”
“When is the service?”
“We haven’t gotten that far yet, but probably sometime in the next few days.”
Suddenly, I didn’t have to wonder where I was going anymore.
I was headed to Arizona.It felt surreal walking into the funeral home and seeing Pat Hurley lying there in a coffin. I hadn’t seen him in years but we always kept in touch, mainly during the holidays. Now I was feeling guilty that we hadn’t communicated more. I would regret not calling him more often for as long as I lived.
As a kid with no father around, you appreciated attention from adult males more than average; yearned for it, even. Pat knew I needed guidance, and he became that father figure to me.
He was the one who taught me how to throw a football, how to fish, and gave me the good old ‘birds and the bees’ talk. The latter would end up being ironic when I ended up fucking his daughter later on. Pat found out about that, too, and kicked my ass. But he still cared about me even after that. He loved me and he never let me forget it, even when he was literally smacking the shit out of me.
I stood by his coffin and stared down at his body. Pat was dressed in a nice suit, and his mouth had been formed into a smile. He looked good for a dead guy. I couldn’t even believe I was thinking about Pat that way, or that he was gone forever from this Earth.
God, this sucked. This sucked so freaking bad.
I wiped my eyes and, after saying some prayers, I stood up and looked around. It felt like someone turned the heat up to a hundred degrees. Beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. My tie felt like it was choking me, so I loosened it.
There was a long line of people waiting to give condolences to the family. I stood at the back of it waiting with everyone else.
Beth’s mother, Ann, was first in the line-up. I noticed how much she’d aged, but damn, it had been a long time, hadn’t it? Over ten years. Beth’s brother, Adam, was next to his mother. He had gained some weight.
Beth was standing next to him. I almost didn’t recognize her. She looked a lot different. She was never heavy but always had some meat on her. Now she was almost what you’d consider skinny. Her once light brown hair was dyed blonde. She was wearing bright lipstick and a tight black dress. She looked good.
A little boy with long, shaggy hair stood next to her. I knew Beth was married with a son, so I assumed that was him. He had her almond-shaped eyes and looked to be about six.
When I got to Ann, she placed both hands on my cheeks and cried, “Heath…I can’t believe you came all this way. I wish Pat were here to see you.”
The right words escaped me. I simply said, “I’m so sorry, Ann.”
“We’re having a family dinner after this. Will you stay and join us?”