I nudged Noah’s arm. “Will you do this with me?”
“You into that stuff?”
“Not normally, but I’m kind of curious.”
He stared into the window for a bit, then shrugged. “Okay.”
There was no one inside when we entered. Then, from behind a beaded curtain, a woman appeared.
“Hello. Reading for two?”
She had a nose ring and wore a head scarf.
I looked at Noah then back at her. “Can you do that? Read two people at once?”
“Yes, but the information I receive is very much out of my control, so it may not be balanced. The spirits decide whom they’d like to message.”
“So…when you say spirits, are you a medium or a clairvoyant?”
“A little bit of both—depends on the day and what gifts I’ve been blessed with.”
After we paid her, she sat us at a small circular table with a red tablecloth. She lit some tealight candles and stared at us for a moment.
“I am Iliana, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Heather, and he’s Noah.”
Noah remained quiet, with a skeptical look on his face.
Suddenly, Iliana squinted in confusion.
“Okay. This is going to sound really strange. I don’t even know why this question is coming to me. But I am going to ask it anyway. Who’s the ass tickler?”
Ass tickler?
“Did you say ass tickler?” I asked. “What is that?”
“I have no idea,” she said. “But that’s what I’m getting.”
I looked at Noah. I thought he’d be laughing, but instead he looked shocked. His eyes seemed frozen open.
“Do you know what she’s talking about?” I asked.
He scratched his head. “Uhhh…”
“Noah?”
The color drained from his face. “Okay, I’m really freaked out right now,” he finally said.
“Does that have meaning to you?” I laughed a little. “Ass tickler?”
Noah let out a long breath. “The night of your twenty-first birthday, you fell asleep on my bed. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah.”
“I never told you, but you were talking in your sleep.”
I covered my mouth. “Oh no.”
“And you said the weirdest thing—that you wanted to tickle my ass, among other things.”
“What?” I yelled. “I said that? And what other things?”
“We can talk about that later. Nothing bad, but the ass tickling was funny. I just don’t understand how she’d know about that.”
“I said I wanted to tickle your ass?”
“Yes.”
“What the hell was I thinking?”
“I don’t know, but I’m freaked out.”
Iliana raised her brow. “Freaked out? Surely you didn’t doubt my abilities?”
“I thought this was a bunch of bullshit. But you have my attention now.”
“The introduction of that term is an indication to direct my attention toward Heather for the moment.” Iliana closed her eyes for a while. “Okay. Wow.”
“What?” I asked impatiently.
“You have some changes on the horizon. Is there a big move coming up?”
“Yes. I’m moving to Vermont for school.”
“Okay. Yes. I’m sensing this looming transition. The next year will be life-changing for you in many ways.”
“In good ways?”
“In many ways.”
My stomach sank. “Does that mean something bad is going to happen?”
Why did I decide to do this?
“I can’t tell you that. All I’m getting is that this year is going to change your entire life, and you should be ready for whatever comes.”
I swallowed. “Okay.”
Iliana closed her eyes again before turning her attention to Noah. “You’re in love with her…am I right?”
Oh my God.
Time seemed to stand still as both of us looked at Noah.
“Don’t answer that,” I insisted. “It’s not fair for you to be put on the spot. Please don’t answer.”
I couldn’t bear to hear him say no. The longer he said nothing, the more excruciating this was. Noah just blinked.
Iliana placed both hands on her head. “Is everything okay with your head?”
“Depends on who you ask,” he said. “As far as I know. Why?”
“I can’t be sure. I’m feeling some pressure in my head, and I don’t know what it means. It could be literal or figurative.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It could represent a lot on your mind or actual physical head pain. Just be cautious.”
Noah seemed totally weirded out. “Okay.”
Illiana concluded her reading, and we left her feeling more confused than when we’d walked in.
Noah grabbed my hand. “I suddenly have a headache.”
“And I’m mortified because I’m apparently an ass tickler.”
“I’m still freaked out that she knew that.”
“What else did I say to you that night?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
He stopped and leaned into my ear. “You begged me to fuck you.”
What?
“You’re lying!”
“I wouldn’t lie about that. Begged.” He laughed. “That night was the beginning of the end of my resistance.”
“I can’t believe you never said anything.” Pointing my finger at his chest, I said, “I need to be aware of these things. What if I do that shit at school? I’m going to have to get a roommate. What if I say something to them in my sleep?”
“You might want to warn them ahead of time, clarify that you can’t be responsible for what you say. Tell them not to believe any of it—even if that shit is true half of the time.”