“Ex-fiancé.”
“Okay, but how can you possibly know what it’s really like to be with Matteo?”
I thought about that. She had a point.
“You’re right. I don’t know what the day to day would look like for us. Heck, I don’t even know where we would live. He’s in Seattle. My life is here. None of it makes sense, and yet…” My words trailed off.
“Yet you still can’t stop thinking about him.”
“No. I can’t. And it’s not fair to Brady. So, I have some real thinking to do after Matteo goes back.”
“When does he leave?”
“In a few days. He took some time off from his teaching job, but he’s supposed to be returning to work after the holidays. So he needs to get back.”
“Well, maybe once he’s gone, you’ll start to forget, little by little. You can focus on Brady and hopefully come to your senses.”
I didn’t want to forget Matteo. Every piece of advice Felicity gave me made me want the opposite scenario. She was slowly and unintentionally showing me what my heart was screaming for.
And that scared me. Because no matter how this all ended, someone was going to get hurt.• • •Two nights later, I was starting to freak out because I hadn’t seen Matteo since the night he came to my house. Between work and Brady being around, coordinating a meet-up just hasn’t worked out.
And tonight, it was Brady’s birthday, so I had no choice but to spend it with him.
When a text from Matteo came in, my heart sped up a bit.Matteo: Hey, Brady wants me to join you guys for his birthday dinner tonight, but I told him I came down with the flu. I just wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t sick. Didn’t want you to worry. I just…can’t.That broke my heart.Hazel: I get it. Totally.Matteo: The pretending thing is too hard. I can’t look him in the eyes anymore.Hazel: It’s getting harder and harder for me, too.Matteo: I’m gonna miss you, Hazel.Panic set in. Did he mean forever? Or was he referring to the fact that he was leaving soon?Hazel: Your flight leaves tomorrow night. When will I see you?Matteo: Can you come to the city during the day? I’m afraid if I go to you, I won’t make it back in time for my flight.Hazel: Yes. I was planning to but wanted to make sure you wanted me there.Matteo: Of course I do.Hazel: Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then? Am I meeting you at your hotel?Matteo: Yes. Just text me when you arrive. I’ll come down.Hazel: Okay.Matteo: Have fun tonight.Chapter 22* * *Hazel“Hey.” Brady smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “You look gorgeous.”
It was a good thing the way I felt on the inside wasn’t on display, because then he would have said, You look like a complete and total wreck.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Is that a new dress?”
I nodded and looked down. “I actually bought it for our honeymoon.”
Brady frowned. “Come inside.”
My train had been delayed getting into the city, and I knew our reservation at the restaurant was for seven thirty. “Shouldn’t we get going? I’m a little late.”
Brady opened the door wide and stepped aside. “You’re not late at all. Chez Oppenheimer is ready whenever you are.”
I peered into the apartment from the hall. The lights were dimmed, and the dining room table had been set for two. Candles flickered in the center of the table, and a huge bouquet of flowers sat atop the plate at the chair I normally sat in.
“I thought we were going out?”
“Change of plans. I hired a chef to come in and make your favorite dinner instead. You said you’d had a long day today, so I figured you’d like that better than going out.”
At one point I would have. But right now the thought of a romantic dinner alone with Brady didn’t sit right in my stomach. I would have given anything for him to make such a romantic gesture before. And yet at this moment, I didn’t much want to set foot inside his apartment.
Brady sensed my hesitation, but luckily mistook it as surprise. He smiled and took my hand. “I know. It’s out of character for me. But you said we could go anywhere I wanted for my birthday. And honestly, the only place I want to be is right here with you.” He squeezed my hand. “I don’t want to share you with anyone else.”
He gave my hand a soft tug, and I had no choice but to walk inside. When the front door clicked shut, a horrible, ominous feeling washed over me. As screwed up as it was, it felt wrong to be here in such a romantic setting with Brady. I knew in my heart that Matteo would be devastated if he found out. I didn’t want to hurt either of these men.