After setting the tree down in a corner, Damien brushed off his hands. “Where are the Ds?”
“They’re playing with some wrapping paper in the other room.”
“Okay, good. Maybe they’ll let me set up this tree in peace.”
“Is Jenna coming to pick them up before the party?”
“She was being kind of a bitch about it because she has a party to go to herself, so I’m not sure if she’ll show.”
“So, let them stay. I’m in no mood for an Ex-mas anyway.”
“I want her to show up just so she can get a load of you in that little white dress. Steam is going to be blowing out of her ears.”
“You like it?”
“Yes. I love it. In fact, I’m thinking this tree decorating might have to wait.”
“We don’t have time.”
“Yes, we do.”
“No, we don’t. Look at the clock.”
“Fuck. Alright, but I’m gonna need a quickie later when everyone’s too drunk to notice us slipping into the bedroom.”
“You’re nuts.”
“You love my nuts.”
“I do love your nuts. Oh, speaking of which…I need you to get some mixed ones to put out on the table. I also never bought soda. We can’t only have alcohol and water with nothing else to drink. So, get some cans of Sprite and Coke. They have the ones with the Christmas logos at the store.”
“I’ll give you a Christmas Coke can right now.”
“Why oh why did I ever put that idea in your head?”
“You’ve just said nuts, Coke can and head in the past thirty seconds. How the fuck am I supposed to focus on decorating a tree?”
Damien began opening the packages of bulbs and other ornaments he’d bought along with bags of tinsel. It was going to be a half-assed tree, but at least we’d have one.
I really needed a glass of wine to relax while I finished preparing all of the appetizers. Normally, I drank white, but since Damien had decided to open a bottle of red last night, I just took from that. The bottle somehow slipped out of my hands, shattering to the floor and splattering red wine all over my new white dress.
“Shit!”
Damien dropped his tinsel and immediately began to clean up the mess from under me. One of the things I loved about Damien was his take-charge attitude. He never wasted time taking care of things. He continued to clear away the glass and mop up the floor as I stood there in shock.
He stood up. “Fuck. Alright. We gotta get you changed. I’ve been dying to get you out of that dress anyway.”
“Are you serious right now?”
A smirk spread over his face. “Let’s go pick out something else.”
We entered the bedroom, and the dogs fled like bats out of hell. They’d shredded tons of wrapping paper and were probably thinking Damien was going to reprimand them. They didn’t realize that my hornball boyfriend had nothing on his mind besides figuring out a way to take advantage of my undressing situation.
“I have nothing to wear now.”
“I’ll pick something out for you.”
Damien actually had pretty good taste. Whenever I got stressed about what to wear, he’d often take over and pick out my outfit.
Perusing through my closet, he chose a pair of fitted black pants that were almost like shimmery leggings along with a flowy red shirt that had a sequin neckline.
“Those pants are really tight on me.”
“I know. I love your ass in them.”
“We don’t have much time. I’ll just wear them.”
Damien stood with his arms crossed, watching every movement as I undressed.
“Let me shave your pussy,” he blurted out.
“What?”
“It’s getting a little bushy. Let me do it real quick.” Without waiting for my answer, he rushed to the bathroom.
I yelled after him, “This is not the type of bush trimming you’re supposed to be doing right now.”
“I know.” He clicked the razor buzzer on. “This is way more fun.”
Damien shaved a neat landing strip onto my vagina. After he finished, he looked down at me. “Fuck. I can’t wait to hit that tonight.”
Placing my hands on his broad shoulders, I pushed him out of the room. “Okay, you really need to leave. I have to get dressed.”
He snickered. “I’ll go finish the real tree trimming.”
As he was leaving, I called out, “Damien?”
He turned around. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.” I smiled.
He blew me a kiss and ventured back out into the living room. Not even a full minute passed before I heard him swearing.
“Fuck!”
I ran to the living room, still buttoning my shirt. “What happened?”
“The dogs apparently took it upon themselves to pee in the bushes like they normally do, but in this case, said bushes would be our fucking Christmas tree. There’s a massive puddle, and I just stepped in it!”
“Shit.”
Dudley and Drewfus were now hiding in the corner of the room.
His anger turned to laughter. “I can’t even get mad at them because I think they were confused. We’ve been so busy, we forgot to take them out. They thought we were bringing the bushes to them.”