“Why?”
He reluctantly flipped it around to show me. It was a picture of two boys, assumably Damien and Tyler. Damien looked quite…chubby.
“You were so cute.”
“I look like I’m about to eat Tyler.”
“You never told me you were heavier as a kid.”
“Well, this was before I learned that you should actually stop eating when you’re full.”
“I think you look adorable.”
“You would say that.”
“I mean it.”
Putting the picture down, I picked up another one—his parents’ wedding picture. “Wow, your parents are both stunning. It’s no wonder where you get your looks.” Now that I’d seen Damien’s father, I realized he actually looked a lot like him in the face despite having his mother’s complexion.
Damien took the picture from me. “They were really in love. There wasn’t a day that went by where my father wasn’t all over her. Tyler and I had to look the other way a lot.”
“That’s the way it should be.”
“I have no doubt it would have still been that way if he were around.”
Monica entered the room. “He is still around. I feel his presence every day.”
I hadn’t realized that she’d been listening to us.
She continued, “It’s not the same of course, but he is still very much here.”
It warmed my heart when Damien wrapped his arm around his mother and kissed her forehead. I knew he wished that she would move on with her life, but he’d also explained that he no longer argued with her about it, because it only seemed to cause her stress.
We sat down to a quiet lunch out back on the screened-in porch. Monica had made mojitos with fresh mint and strawberries. I had to stop myself after one because the rum was getting to my head. I didn’t want to say or do anything stupid in front of her.
Looking out toward the yard, I said, “You have a beautiful garden.”
“Thank you. The mint is freshly-picked from it, too.”
“Gardening is her thing,” Damien said.
“I feel very close to Raymond out there—in nature. I see him in everything; in the wind, in the butterflies that land on me when I’m out there, in the red cardinals that fly overhead.”
My heart was breaking for this woman, even though she seemed to be finding solace in her own ways.
“I think it’s wonderful how in love you are with your husband.”
“You only get one true love, one soulmate. Not everyone is lucky enough to find that person in a lifetime.” She turned to Damien. “My greatest wish is that each of my sons is able to find the person who was meant for him. She looked down at Damien’s and my intertwined hands. “I strongly believe Damien has.”
Looking at him as I spoke, I said, “Thank you. I have no doubt that he’s my person. I can’t explain it. It was just a feeling I had very early on. Even when he was constantly rejecting me, I always still felt a strong connection.”
She nodded. “That’s what it is. Intuition. I was worried that Damien would never allow himself to experience this. I know you recently found out about his genetic heart condition. My husband never knew he had it. In many ways, that was a blessing. He never had to live in fear. At the same time, he never had the opportunity to do anything to prevent it from killing him. So, the lack of knowledge was a double-edged sword.”
Damien looked tense as he let go of my hand. “What my mother is trying to say, Chelsea, is that she thinks I should have the surgery my doctors are recommending.”
Monica placed her hand on Damien’s tattooed forearm. “I think you should do whatever it takes to ensure the longest lifespan, yes.”
I suddenly felt nauseated. It hit me then that I’d really been intentionally blocking out anything having to do with Damien’s condition for a while now. He’d told me that some days he felt great while others he would become tired quickly. He also occasionally had trouble breathing. But the good days outnumbered the bad ones. Before I knew about his diagnosis, though, not once had I ever suspected something was wrong because he was so active and virile. He hid it very well and never complained; that helped me to live in denial.
Still, even though he took such good care of himself, there was only so much he could do on his own to prevent something bad from happening.
“Chelsea and I haven’t really discussed it. We’ve been trying to enjoy being together for a while without worrying about the serious shit for the time being.”
“Well, you’ll know when the time is right to have that discussion.” She looked over at me. “I’m sorry if I dampened the mood at all. That wasn’t my intention. Thank you for making my son happy.”
“Thank you. He makes me so happy.”