So, it came as absolutely no surprise when she said, “I think he’s seeing someone else.”
“How do you know?”
“He hasn’t been coming here after school for the past week, and my brother said he saw Kai at the mall with a girl.”
My heart sank. I wanted to tell her that she was probably right about him, but I wasn’t sure she was emotionally ready to hear that.
“Well, don’t jump to any conclusions until you confront him, but you should definitely talk to him. Better to know these things than to be blindsided later. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who isn’t honest.”
Didn’t I know that.
Even though Elec hadn’t technically cheated on me physically, he had emotionally cheated.
Ariel wiped her eyes then turned to me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Whatever happened between you and Elec?”
My stomach dropped. I wasn’t expecting her to bring him up, and it was way too long of a story to rehash.
Elec used to be everyone’s favorite youth counselor. When he left the center, the kids were devastated. It had been common knowledge around here that we were boyfriend and girlfriend; everyone had gotten a real kick out of that.
“You mean you want to know why we broke up?”
“Yeah.”
If I was going to sum it all up in a single sentence, there was only one response. “He fell in love with someone else.”
Ariel looked confused. “How can you be in love with one person and just fall in love with someone else?”
Ah. The question of the year.
“I’m trying to figure that out myself, Ariel.”
“I remember how he acted around you. It seemed like you guys were in love.”
“I thought we were,” I whispered.
“Do you think he really didn’t love you at all…or was it just that he loved the other girl more?”
It was as if this fifteen-year-old girl had searched into my soul and picked out the one question that I’d asked myself the most. I wanted to be honest with her.
“I’m not sure if there are different levels of love, or if his leaving meant that he never loved me at all. I don’t understand if it’s possible to just stop loving someone. I’m trying to work through these very questions. But the bottom line is, if someone is cheating on you, they don’t love you.”
She stared off. “Yeah.”
Nudging her with my shoulder, I grinned. “The good news, though? You are still so young, and there is plenty of time to find the right one if it’s not Kai. You’re at a very difficult age right now, probably the most difficult stage of your life. Both you and he are hormonal and just discovering who you are.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you found someone else?”
“No.” I paused, looking down at my shoes. “I’m not sure I will.”
“Why not?”
How could I possibly shatter this young girl’s hopes? How could I admit aloud that I didn’t think I could ever trust another man again? That was my own personal issue, and I refused to taint her with my dark cloud of doubt.
“You know what? Anything is possible, Ariel.” I smiled.
If only I believed my own words.CHAPTER THREEHOLE IN THE WALL“I just have a couple of minutes before I have to get my makeup done before the show, but tell me what’s going on,” Jade said.
I had texted my sister earlier: You’re never going to believe this. Call me.
It was right after discovering the identity of my landlord.
“So, you remember Angry Artist?”
“You banged him?”
“No!”
“What is it, then?”
“Turns out…he owns the building.”
“No way!”
“This is not good.”
“Why not? I think it’s great!” she said.
“In what way? Now, I’ll never get those dogs to shut up.”
“No, I mean when you guys start boning, you won’t even have to pay rent.”
“I’m not going to bone him. Because he’s a jackass. And even if in some bizarre universe, I were doing that…I would never not pay my rent. That would make me like a whore.”
She laughed. “Mmmm.”
“What?”
“Angry sex is the best sex, you know.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that before. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced it.”
“Well, when you have it with…what’s his name?”
“Damien. That’s his name. I’m not going to be having angry sex with Damien.”
“Damien? Like from The Omen?”
“That’s what I said to him! I mentioned that when he told me his name. He didn’t seem too happy.”
“When does he seem happy about anything?”
Snickering, I said, “True.”
“That’s hot, though. Shit…they’re calling me. I have to go.”
“Break a leg!”
“Fuck a landlord!”
“You’re nuts.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Conversations with my sister always put me in a good mood.
With an hour to go before my phone therapy session, I decided to go grab some takeout. On my way downstairs, I ran into Murray, the building super. He was sweeping the stairs and whistling while the metal from the dozens of keys he carried attached to his belt clanked together.