I shake my head, pinning her with a malicious glare. “Don’t you think your friend deserves to know what he’s dealing with?” I grab the handle on the second drawer down.
In my head, I’m aware this is a terrible move, that it’s just going to screw things up even more, that I’m about to humiliate her in a way I probably can’t come back from, and that I’ve completely lost control—what little I had in the first place.
Her eyes flare with understanding and then narrow. “You fucker.”
I yank the drawer free and flip it over so the contents spill out, half landing on the bed, the other half tumbling to the floor at my feet.
Josiah’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline as he takes in the plethora of personal pleasure devices. The range is actually staggering, particularly when they’re not all crammed into a nightstand drawer. There are several small bottles of lube and an array of vibrators, dildos, and some oddly shaped thing I can’t figure out.
Lavender slow claps, her expression reflecting her annoyance. “Very dramatic, Kodiak.”
I’m actually shocked that she’s not a mess of incoherent nerves. In this case, that seems to be me.
Josiah scratches his temple and grins. “Damn, Lavender, you’re quite the handful, aren’t you?”
She smirks and rolls her eyes, like it’s some kind of inside joke. “My gigi is very pro self-exploration.”
“I don’t know who Gigi is, but I’d love to meet her.”
“She’s my grandma, and she’s awesome—a little too into the overshare, but you’d love her.”
I make some kind of sound, sort of like a rabid animal, because this isn’t going at all like I’d planned. Granted, I didn’t have much of a plan in the first place, but the two of them chatting about her grandmother while surrounded by a drawer full of sex stuff wasn’t anywhere on my list of possibilities.
They both glance at me and then each other. “Do you mind if I tell him?” Lavender asks.
Josiah looks appropriately wary now. Whether because he’s sitting on a bed covered in sex toys, or because I’m clearly on the verge of some kind of mental breakdown, I can’t be sure. Both would be logical. Ironically, he has very little reaction to the confetti of fake dicks surrounding him. Unlike me.
He lifts one shoulder and lets it fall. “I have nothing to hide.”
Panic makes my chest tight. Maybe he’s been back here before. Maybe there’s already more going on than I know about.
“Josiah is not interested in me,” Lavender says flatly.
I scoff. “Yeah, right.”
No guy comes up to a girl’s room to hang out and actually do homework, especially not when that girl is Lavender. She’s so fucking beautiful, it hurts. And she has a killer sense of humor, and a huge, amazing heart.
She rolls her eyes. “Josiah would be more likely to want to hook up with you than me.”
Josiah raises a finger in the air. “Uh, that’s actually untrue.”
Lavender gives him her seriously look.
“What Lavender is trying to say is that I’m gay.”
Well, that changes a whole lot of things. Like, exactly how unbalanced I seem right now. And how unnecessary it was for me to come up here and act like a giant dick. Again.
He cuts me off before I can speak. “However, you’re an asshole, and I don’t care how pretty you are, I would never hook up with someone who treats my friend as shitty as you treat Lavender.” He turns back to her. “Do you want to come back to my place or something?”
She rubs the space between her eyes. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I need to deal with this.” She grants me a dismissive wave.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I need to handle this situation, and you don’t need to witness the shitstorm that’s about to go down.” She flips her book shut.
He unfolds his legs and carefully steps around the fallen items on the floor. He’s a good four or five inches shorter than me, and probably a good fifty pounds lighter, but he rolls his shoulders back and juts his chin out.
I rub the back of my neck. “I, uh . . .”
He shakes his head. “If you’re thinking about apologizing, don’t bother—especially not to me, because I won’t accept it. I’m not the person you should be apologizing to anyway. I don’t know what your problem is, but I can tell you from what I’ve witnessed you don’t deserve Lavender or her forgiveness.” He turns back to Lavender, who’s also now standing amidst the contents of her drawer. He pulls her into a hug, glaring at me over her shoulder and whispers something I don’t catch.
Josiah has some serious balls. He’s a good friend, and I reluctantly admit to myself that I’m glad she has him in her corner.
She takes his hands in hers and squeezes, pushing up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, whispering, “Thank you for being such a good friend. I promise I’ll be fine.”