I open the bathroom door, but it’s empty. Desperation begins to claw its way across my chest, the need to find her burning in me so hard and fast I can hardly think straight.
How could I have missed her leaving? Was I that fucking dead to the world that I didn’t even hear a door open? Where did she go?
My thoughts come to a screeching halt when the door to the balcony opens and she steps inside. She sweeps in, wearing nothing but a robe, her hair adorably mussed up and clipped to the top of her head with some kinda butterfly thing. She carries her phone in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.
She beams when she sees me. “Good morning!”
“Morning.”
She pauses, her smile freezing. “Gabriel. Daddy? What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, trying to dispel my fears and concerns, my head still trapped in the worries I gave voice to just seconds ago. It’s like I’m caught somewhere between waking and dreaming.
Maybe I am too obsessed. Maybe I do need to give her a little freedom, if I’m this affected by the mere thought of losing her.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I say, my voice husky and affected. I sit with a sigh on the edge of the bed. “C’mere.” I pat my knee.
She tips her head to the side curiously for a moment before walking over to me. When she reaches me, I take her coffee mug, place it on the bedside table, then take her phone and toss it on the bed. I tug her onto my lap and pull her to my chest.
Her arms encircle my neck and she places her head on my shoulder.
“Seriously, though. What’s wrong, daddy?”
I swallow. Will she think I’m fucked up if I admit the truth? I, of all people, should know how important honesty is in a relationship, and Jesus, I can’t hold anything more back from her…
“Couldn’t find you,” I finally say. “And I thought for a moment you left.”
She sighs. “Gosh, I’m sorry you felt that way,” she says, shaking her head. “I hate that you did. But I can see why. I mean, last night was pretty messed up. I think it affected me, too. I had a dream that I found you with another woman.”
My body stiffens. “Oh?”
She laughs, unaware of the tension rippling through me.
“It was silly. I’m sure it was only because of dealing with Lexi last night, you know?”
I nod.
“And I woke up so troubled, and it was super early, so I just made some coffee and sat out on the balcony catching up on some work.”
I nod mutely. There are things she doesn’t know about me. I know everything about her. The disparity between us mocks me.
It’s time I told her some more of my past. I’ve taken care of it. I’ve made sure that I’m free and clear, without anything hindering my ability to be fully present for her. With her. I’ve made sure that the two of us can pursue a lifetime together.
But still, she needs to know.
“I would never be unfaithful to you, Miranda. Never.”
She looks up at me in surprise, her beautiful blue eyes wide. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
“I’ll write it in our contract if you need to see it. I’ll make sure you know that there’s nothing in the world more important to me than you.”
She shakes her head slowly. “I don’t need to see that, daddy.” Her voice is soft. “I don’t need it in a contract. I believe you.”
I kiss her forehead fiercely, and her hand grips my wrist.
“In fact, it’s that very thing that troubles me sometimes.”
“What?”
“Just exactly how devoted you are.”
I pause. “Oh?”
She nods slowly. “Sometimes you seem almost… almost obsessed.”
I nod. “I am.”
She bites her lip in that way she does. “I just don’t know if it’s healthy.”
I’ve come on too strong, I know it.
I nod. “What can I do to make it better?”
“Well, that’s just it. You’re always trying to make things better.” She pushes herself off my lap. “And it’s not that I don’t respect and even admire that, so much as it worries me.”
“Why?”
She shakes her head. “Because I’m not perfect. I have my flaws. But it seems as if you’ve put me on a pedestal.”
I shrug. “Everyone’s human. I know that.”
Her phone rings, and her eyes go to it. I nod. “Take it.”
I need a moment to think anyway.
She answers the phone and steps out toward the kitchenette, chatting work and answering questions about payroll. A few moments later she comes back in. I reach for her, and she comes to me, but she seems distant this time.
I kiss her, and she kisses me back. Something is missing. She’s... too far. My stomach starts to sink, but I tame my mind. She’s troubled about her sister. She’s preoccupied. That’s all there is to it.