It was blow after blow that I was delivering, and I hated myself for it, but she needed to know the truth. I knew Eden, and she wouldn’t stop until she got to the bottom of it. It was better for her to hear it from me, the man who’d actually killed him.
The force of my statement had her stumbling back, but I caught onto her waist.
“You know?” she muttered in a low tone.
I nodded.
“How long have you known?”
“Since I first met him. It’s why I stayed away. I thought Tristian was a better example of a father. I never imagined he’d stoop that low.”
“I don’t know what to say…”
“I made a choice. I chose you. For the first time in my life, I chose you, Eden, and I won’t apologize for that,” I paused, wanting my words to truly sink in. We both know he wasn’t himself anymore. The old Tristian died a long time ago; I just killed his shadow to prevent him from killing you or my son.”
Eden swayed on her feet, her hands moving to my shoulders as she righted herself. But she was unable to hold her body up, and her knees crumpled. I held onto her waist harder.
I could do that for her.
“I killed him,” I repeated. “I killed him to save the only two people I’ve ever loved. And I’d do it again. To keep you safe, I’d burn the world, Red.”
I tightened my grip, catching her before she collapsed into a heap on the office floor, lifting her into my arms, sitting her on my lap instead while tears streamed down her face in rapid succession.
“Would it have mattered?”
I held her tight. “Would what have mattered?”
“Had you chosen me the first time, would we still be in this predicament? Would he still be dead?”
I hesitated. “I don’t know, Eden. All I know is what’s done is done, and we’re responsible for our own choices, our own mistakes. As humans, we’re compelled to own up to the good and the bad. In the end, I don’t think Tristian was able to do that, so he dug deeper and deeper until he couldn’t see his way out, and then he used the end to justify his present actions. He used his jealousy of me and love for you as a weapon.”
Her breathing had evened out as she laid her head against my chest.
“Does it make me a horrible person, then?”
“Does what?”
Her hands shook as she wrapped her arms around me and clung to me like her life depended on it. “That I feel safer in the arms of my husband’s killer? That I’ve always felt protected even when I couldn’t see you because I knew you wouldn’t let anything happen to us. That—” She sniffled. “That I kept your son from you for five years.”
My chest twisted with pain.
“It got harder and harder the older he got. His mannerisms, down to the way he narrows his eyes and stares to the side when he’s thinking really hard.” Eden pulled back, her eyes blurry. “I didn’t know what to do!”
“Eden—”
“You’d said you just wanted to fuck me, and I was marrying your brother. So many times, I told myself not to walk down that aisle, that we had something, that you were pushing me away. And then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that in your stupid head, you had no choice. You were convinced I was safer without you in my life when I’ve only ever been safe because you’re in it. I let Tristian raise him as his own because I was scared of what would happen if either of you found out the truth.”
I listened to every word she was sharing, eager to see where she was going with this. I’d often wondered why she never told me, especially at night, when I was alone in my cold penthouse, thinking about her and what could have been in my bed. It had become more difficult to be around Naz the older he got. I could see everything she was saying about him.
My son didn’t even realize it, but he was exactly like me.
“I was going to leave him,” she blurted out of nowhere. She grabbed her shirt and lifted it up to her cheek, wiping away the makeup.
It was only then that I noticed what she was hiding underneath it.CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT“Heroes are imaginary, but villains are real.” —Best villain quotes
Romeo
With the backs of my fingers, I skimmed the nasty bruise that was healing on her cheekbone.
“The last time I saw Tristian, he hit me. I followed him to his office that morning, and I saw him with that woman… with Ivan’s wife, I guess. He looked so happy. I don’t think I remember the last time he looked at me the way he was looking at her. It hurt. A lot.” She bowed her head; however, I held up her chin. Making her gaze at me.