She raised the book in her hand. “I’ve been reading about the history of Cluchlochry. This is an amazing area.”
He grunted.
A response. Somewhat.
“We don’t have anything like this where I’m from.” She waved a hand indicating the castle. “It’s a special place.”
“I used to spend a lot of time here,” he muttered.
Cass had to lean forward to hear him. There was moisture pooling in his eyes.
“You’ve been to Heatherglen Castle before?”
“Yes. I grew up in Cluchlochry.” His voice had grown stronger.
“It must have been a fun place for little boys. There are plenty of places to hide. Big spaces to run.” The castle and grounds would be a wonderful place to spend a childhood. Would Lyle’s kids one day do that? The thought of him having children with another woman caused a dull ache around her heart.
Andy’s eyes took on a shadowed look. “Nick and I used to play hide and seek here all the time. I never could find him.” He didn’t say anything more, returning to staring at the fire. “He’s gone now.”
“Gone?” she prompted.
“Died in Afghanistan.”
Cass sucked in a breath.
“Nick was my best friend,” he mumbled.
She wasn’t sure who he was talking about, but the name sounded familiar. Waiting, she hoped he’d answer her questions without her saying more.
“It should have been me who died. He should have got out of the army. Should have come home. Not gone back. I told him not to,” he said, less to her and more to himself.
Cass’s heart went out to him. She cringed, too well acquainted with loss. Of emotions so enormous and distressing they were difficult to live with. Hers had many fronts. Rufus being gone. What to do with her life now. Could she have a real lasting relationship with a man? Now to live with the scars. All of those were bundled into a massive ball of insecurity. She could understand the forlorn man beside her too well. That added to her discomfort. “Heatherglen was Nick’s home?”
Andy gave her an odd look as if he was confused by her confusion. “Nick was Charles’s older brother. Dr. Charles Ross-Wylde, the Laird.”
“Yes, I’ve met the Laird. I know who you’re talking about now. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Losing someone you care about is hard.”
“Have you lost someone?”
This was not the direction Cass had anticipated their conversation going. If she had she wouldn’t have started it. Over the last few days thoughts of Lyle had managed to overtake all those ugly, sad feelings that had weighed heavy on her and she liked it that way. The pain had dulled. Maybe, just maybe, if she could share some of her pain with Andy, he wouldn’t feel so alone, maybe believe that life could get better.
To her surprise, she had begun to believe that. It had slipped up on her but, yes, she did. “I have. It wasn’t a person but the next thing to it. He was my partner and friend. Rufus, my dog.”
Andy gave her a long searching look. “What happened?”
Cass wasn’t sure she could go into the details but she’d opened the door so Andy deserved the truth. Her eyes clouded over. “We were a search and rescue team. We had just saved a child when there was a ground tremor and the wall of the building started to fall. Rufus barked, warning me. The wall fell on him. Hit me in the leg and arm.” She could say this next part. Had to say it. “He saved my life and lost his.”
Andy gave her a compassionate look. “I’m sorry about your dog.”
Moisture filled Cass’s eyes, making Andy a foggy blur. “I miss him every day. I’m not sure if I can or want to return to my job without him. It may be just too hard. But search and rescue is all I know.”
* * *
Lyle walked to the lounge door when he heard Cass’s voice. He halted inside the door, just in time to hear her confession about Rufus. He listened for more. She hadn’t told him the entire story. No wonder she had been so devastated by what had happened to her. The loss of the dog was some of it but her fears and agony went deeper. Her world had been turned upside down. She was unsure what direction to take. The change in her life must be terrifying for her. She’d experienced a major loss of not only her dog but life as she had known it. He knew her well enough to know that, for her, losing her job was like losing her identity.
Yet she had shared her grief and feelings with another hurting person. That had to have been difficult for her. He should feel hurt that she had confided the deeper meaning of the loss of Rufus with Andy and not him, but what Lyle had just heard told him what a large heart Cass had for people.
Andy had refused to come out of his room for days. Lyle had finally convinced him to come down. On top of not wanting to interact with others, Andy refused to talk about his accident and about losing Nick. Lyle would be eternally grateful to Cass for getting him to open up, to take a metaphorical step forward.
Cass and Andy were so adsorbed in their conversation they didn’t see or hear him. He shouldn’t stand here eavesdropping but he couldn’t move either. Thankfully that was taken out of his hands when Melissa brushed past him.
“Hi, Lyle. How’re you today?” She kept going until she reached Andy.
Cass’s head whipped around so that she looked directly at him. Surprise, concern and happiness ran over her features in rapid progression.
Lyle was glad to see her as well, but he was still disturbed by what he had heard and what it meant in her life. He had made less of it in his mind than he should have. He now understood why Cass acted the way she did about the dog they’d found, the sadness about her when she’d first arrived, even her not wanting to get too involved with him. Her emotions must be in turmoil. She had been and was suffering far more than he’d given her credit for.
He stepped forward as Melissa announced as she took off the brake on the chair, “They’re waiting for you in therapy, Andy. We must go.”
Andy gave Cass a nod.
She offered him a wry smile. “See you soon, Andy.”
Melissa rolled him back, turned him and they headed out the door.
Cass’s eyes rose to meet Lyle’s. “You heard?”
Lyle nodded. He didn’t even try to question why she hadn’t shared with him how losing Rufus had affected her. Now wasn’t the time to analyze that. There might never be one. She didn’t owe him anything. One hot evening together didn’t mean they could or should bare their souls to one another. That was the way she seemed to want it. Didn’t he as well?
Pushing herself to her feet, she said, “I’d better go.”
He took a couple of steps forward, his voice going low. “I’ve missed you, Cass. I was coming to look for you when I heard your voice.”
“Did you want something?”
“I’d like a kiss.” He looked around, “But I won’t do that here.”
Cass rewarded him with a blush. She might be acting as if she was immune to him but she wasn’t, not even a little bit.
“I’ll wait until later. But I will kiss you.” He stressed the last sentence.
She grinned at him. “Is that a promise, Docto
r?”
Lyle’s heart soared. He liked that much better than her sad look. “It is. I do have something to ask you, though. My mother rang and would like me to bring you around to Harlow House for dinner this evening. She wants to keep her promise to teach you to knit.”
Cass looked away as if she was unsure. “That’s not necessary.”
He waited until she met his gaze again. “My mother will be disappointed if you don’t come.”
Cass looked down as if her shoes required her attention. “I’m just not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? You have been invited.” Lyle watched her closely. It shouldn’t matter so much that she agree.
“I don’t want to give her any ideas about us, with me leaving so soon.”
“If that’s now you feel...” He turned to go.
She reached out and grabbed his forearm. “Wait.”
Lyle didn’t realize until that second just how much he’d missed Cass’s touch. He placed his hand over hers.
Cass’s eyelids fluttered as she gave him a wary look. “I guess I could go. I’d never want to hurt your mother’s feelings.”
He made a tsking sound. “And here I was hoping you wanted to spend time with me. I’ll meet you in the foyer at five.”
She nodded.
Lyle ran his thumb across the top of her hand. “By the way, Cass, you’re beautiful both inside and out. You really helped Andy out today. He needs someone to confide in, someone who understands where he’s coming from. You’re a special person, Cass Bellow.”
Her eyes softened. Lyle had to leave before he kissed her right then and there.
* * *
A few hours later Lyle strolled into the foyer, expecting to see Cass waiting near the door. Instead he found her with a staff member and a couple of other residents, tying large red bows on the banister. The greenery had been draped the week before.
“It’s really starting to look like Christmas in here.” His attention was directly on Cass.