We don’t move. She remains in that bent-over position for long moments. And when I can finally focus again, I slip out of her. Haelee turns toward me, her arms wrapping around my neck as she pulls herself up to press a kiss to my lips.
“Since you.”
A grin plants itself on my lips when I respond, “Since you.” I lift her against me once more and walk us into the shower. Time to clean my girl before I dirty her up again.19HaeleeWhen I headed back to college a couple of weeks ago, I missed being at the track, but leaving Kayden in bed has been difficult as well. Even though I’m sure my mother knows we’ve taken a step further in our relationship because I’m staying over at his place most nights, she hasn’t said anything to sway me.
I pull on the jeans I chose for tonight and head into the bathroom to style my hair. My straightener sits on the counter, and I pick it up. It’s the first time I’m doing this since meeting Kayden, and I wonder what he’ll make of it. My life has been spent learning how to deal with being different, with not having sleek hair or blue eyes, but with him, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
“You look gorgeous,” Mom says from the doorway as I brush and straighten. She’s seen me at my worst. When I thought the world was crashing down around me because I couldn’t style my hair like the girls at school, she was there for me when I cried because I felt so out of place.
But when I was racing, nobody was judging me. I found my happiness while I sat in a car, flying around a track while my dad sat beside me.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You know,” she starts. “I know how you feel about him.” I stop what I’m doing to look at her. “You look at him like I used to look at your dad. Don’t be afraid of letting someone in. He’s nothing like the kids from school, and he is most certainly nothing like the boys from college.”
“He makes me feel special.”
A gentle smile crosses her lips. “That’s because you are special.”
“I know, but that’s you saying it. When I’m with him, I don’t feel like the outcast being shunned because I didn’t belong in the suburbs.”
Her gaze glistens, and for a moment, I feel terrible because I don’t want her to think I’m ungrateful for them taking me in. “You’re worthy of being anywhere you want to be, Haelee.” This time, she looks directly at me, and I realize I know what she means.
It’s something my mother tried to teach me since I was a kid. Knowing where I’m from, where my birth mother came from, I’ve never felt like I was worthy. I felt like an imposter, and perhaps the jeers from the other kids made it worse. But since I can remember, I believed I wasn’t good enough. Now that I’m older, looking at my adoptive mother, Mom, I realize I am good enough.
“I’m sorry I never believed you in the past.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she comforts me. “Growing up with what you had to for eight long years before we found you must have broken you. I can’t imagine being a child in that situation.”
“I’ve blocked a lot of it out. Even just thinking about it makes me shiver. Perhaps I’ve just forced myself to forget it. Deep down, I know I belong here, but sometimes it’s difficult to realize.”
“You should never forget who you are,” Mom says vehemently. “You are a beautiful, strong woman, and you’re special in every way. If someone can’t see that, it’s because they’re blind.”
The lump in my throat chokes me, and I try to swallow past it. Tears sting my eyes, and I set my brush and straightener down to go to her and hold her. It’s been such a long time since I’ve snuggled my mother, and I enjoy the moment. The warmth of her arms around me settles the pain I felt moments ago.
“I think I’m falling for him,” I mumble against her shoulder, and I feel her laugh. There’s a gentle hum that comes from Mom’s chest, and I wonder if she knew before I did. She’s always been perceptive. And this time, it’s no different.
“Allow time to lead you,” she advises. “You will probably fall for him, yes, but don’t rush things. And you’ll find with each day, that feeling you’re currently cultivating in your chest will only flourish.”
“I’m not rushing. I’m only doing things when I’m comfortable. And Kayden is a gentleman. He’s never forced me to take steps I’m not comfortable with.”
This time Mom smiles. I’m sure she knows what I’m talking about, but I don’t want to get into that, so I step away and finish up my hair while she watches. When the doorbell rings, my heart skips a beat, knowing it’s him.