“We did,” he responds, putting a thick envelope in front of me. I look up at him and he’s smiling, so I figure it can’t be bad. Then, I read the address and it’s the Clerk of Courts. My heart beats harder and I open it.
My hand shakes, the television noise blurs in the background as I look at the papers. It’s forms to fill out to start the official adoption procedure for Daisy.
“Oh my God!” I cry, looking up at Luke.
“I figured it’s about time we make it official. I want your name on her birth certificate before we have another child and the way we go at it…” he trails off, but he has a wicked smile on his face and we both know what he’s talking about.
We make love like rabbits, as in, every time we get a chance. Since we threw away my birth control this morning, it’s just a matter of time.
“We have to celebrate!” I cry.
“We will,” he responds with a laugh. “We’ll go pick up our girl and she’ll go with us. Maybe we’ll drive down to Natural Bridge. Daisy would enjoy that.”
“She would, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to be in Kentucky for long periods of time right now. Dad’s right, we need to be smart. I mean, he feels that way and he doesn’t even know the whole story. Maybe we could—”
Luke bends down and kisses me, not letting me finish. “We’ll go get our girl and spend the day at Natural Bridge. They have a sky lift, right? Daisy will love that.”
I start to argue, but as the universe often does in its infinite wisdom, it picks that moment to stop me in my tracks.
My gaze moves over to the television when I see a report that comes from my part of Kentucky. I fumble around for the remote clicking the volume up.
“…two of three dead served as patrol officers with the Kentucky State Police Post there in London. Assorted drug paraphernalia and alcohol were found on the scene, including materials signed out of the evidence locker by Officer Dewayne Lagger, one of the deceased. At this time, no foul play is suspected.”
I mute the television, in shock. My gaze slowly lifts up to Luke’s resigned face.
“Do you know anything about that, Luke?”
“Red, don’t start.”
“This is where you were so late the other night wasn’t it? It didn’t have anything to do with a run you had to make for Ford.”
“Red, you need to let this go,” he says, walking away to put his coffee cup in the sink.
“But—”
“But nothing. I took care of a problem that needed taken care of. You’re not a stranger to this life, baby. You know what goes down. There was a threat to my family, and I handled it.”
“I’m sure that’s what my dad thought all those years ago. What happens if this comes back and hurts Daisy, Luke? Or any of the children that we have in the future?”
“So, you’re admitting we’re having children in the future,” he mutters, and I have to stop and do a double take, making sure he’s not gone completely insane, or that I’d somehow misheard him.
“Of course we’re having kids in the future. Weren’t you the caveman who went all insane earlier and told me to throw my birth control away?”
“Just making sure you weren’t planning an escape now that any illusion you might have harbored about who I am and the codes I live by have been ripped away,” he mumbles.
“Now, you’re just being asinine. I’m not going anywhere. I love you and I know full well what kind of world you live in. I’ve never asked you to change. I just happen to think that this was one thing that maybe—just maybe—we should have discussed!”
“I took out a threat, Red. You know as well as I do that Lagger had so much hatred boiling inside of him that it was twisting him inside out. You became the focus of that hatred and eventually no one would have been safe. It would have boiled over.”
I swallow, because I do know what he’s saying is true. It’s all just such a shock.
“But, Luke…”
“But nothing,” he sighs, coming over to pull me up so that I’m standing in front of him. He keeps his hands on each of my shoulders, his finger under my chin so I’m forced to look into his eyes. “He was a problem and me and my club took care of it. We protect what’s ours, it’s what we do. We made it look like these fuckers took themselves out and that ends the circle. There will be no blowback. Our daughter and any other children we have down the line will breathe clear and easy. They will be able to spend time with their grandparents and not have to look over their shoulders. Your dad will never have to know about the poison that was slowly building so close to his family, or that it touched his daughter. It’s gone.”