4
Allen
“What’s your name?” I ask her, needing to know it more than anything else I’ve ever wanted in my life—and that includes proving to Roman he was right about me.
That’s a scary truth. A fucking terrifying one.
When Roman captured me I was a junkie wanting to die. I’m not proud of my past, but it’s the truth. That’s who I was. I was running from my past, from an abuse so dark that it colored everything I was, everything I did. It destroyed me. I was wanting to die. I was prepared for Roman to deliver that death. I knew he would. I’d crossed him on purpose.
I never expected that he’d captured me to dry me out. I never expected he would give me a chance to get revenge from a monster who had hid in the corners of my mind for way too long. I’ve never wanted anything more than to make Roman proud. That’s the only thing that has driven me since that day years ago that I was locked up in one of Roman’s warehouses and chained like the damn dog that I was. Roman gave me everything and somehow he managed to find a way to give me my sister back too. I owe the man everything. But, suddenly, in a flash my priorities change and they all center on this tiny woman who barely comes up to my ches
t, with soft hair the color of dark honey and eyes bluer than the Florida sky.
“I’m Jessie,” she whispers. “Jessie Hart.”
Her voice is so sweet I have to close my eyes at the sound of it. She holds her hand out so innocently, not realizing the monster she’s inviting into her life. I should back away, leave her for another man to claim. A man worthier than I am; a clean man without darkness inside of him. I look down at her hand while a battle rages inside of me. I slowly reach out and grasp it in mine. Electricity moves through me and I swear I can feel the ground shift under my feet. I should have never touched her. I should have let her go.
Roman’s words come back to me.
“You will go down on your knees to keep her and if she’s a good woman, Allen, you’ll do it gladly.”
She’s it. She’s the one.
She deserves better and she definitely deserves cleaner, but her fate is sealed.
I’ll be damned if I give any other man a chance to take her away from me.
She’s mine.
“Allen.”
“Hi, Allen,” she says, her hand tightening against mine.
I don’t know how long we stand like that. I couldn’t tell you how long I stare into her eyes. I just know that I never want it to stop.
“Excuse me. Could I get your help picking out a shampoo?” one of the customers asks from behind me. I squeeze Jessie’s hand, not wanting to let her go, but knowing I need to.
“I’ll be with you in just a moment,” Jessie answers, but she doesn’t take her eyes away from me. “I’ll uh… just get your change,” she says, pulling her hand away.
I force myself to let her go, but I don’t do it happily.
“Keep it,” I respond.
“But—”
“I said keep it,” I tell her, and I know that comes out grumpy. I hate the way the tone of my voice makes her flinch.
I try to get a handle on my anger; she doesn’t deserve it. I’m annoyed as hell right now because I have to leave her, and I don’t want to.
“I’d really rather not,” she says huffily, obviously put off because of my tone, and I can’t blame her. She pushes a button on the register and the drawer slides open. She pulls out the change and hands it to me.
My gaze travels to the money and then back to her. I do all this frowning.
Jessie’s face is closed off now, the light out of her eyes and the blush changed from embarrassment to anger. I don’t know how I can read her that clearly, but I do.
“I want you to keep it, Jessie. You can give me a discount on my next purchase,” I respond, closing my hand around hers in such a way as to hold her without taking the money.
“You’re coming back?”
“Nothing could keep me away, Mouse. Nothing at all,” I promise her and Roman grabs his son from the counter, takes my sister’s hand, and they start walking to the door. I follow them, resisting the urge to look back at Jessie until I get to the door and then I have to turn and look at her again.
“Down on your knees,” Roman mutters and I rub the side of my neck, unable to argue with him.
“My bro has moves,” Ana laughs and I grunt my frustration at her, which only makes her laugh harder. I sigh, following them through the street as we’re joined by Bruno, another of Roman’s men.
Unable to stop myself, I look back at Jessie’s shop one last time, knowing I’ll be back sooner rather than later. I won’t be able to stop myself. One touch from her was more powerful than any drug I’ve ever had in my system and I know without a shadow of a doubt that she will be the one habit I’ll never be able to kick.
Down on my knees… damn.
5
Jessie
Three days.
That’s how long it has been since I stood in the middle of my shop, rubbed my fingers through a customer’s beard, and made a complete and utter fool of myself. That essentially means I’ve had three days of hell, reliving a myriad of emotions that range from embarrassment to desire, joy, sadness, and a million other things. Whatever I’ve felt, though, it all goes back to the same thing in the end. Sadness that Allen is gone. Sadness that I might have met this great guy and nothing happened.
Well again, besides making a fool of myself—nothing happened.
As I close the door to my shop and make sure the deadbolt is secure, I feel defeated. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s that moment of knowing you’ve met someone special, it doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. I’ve heard friends talk about it, and I always thought they were insane… until now.
“Let’s go for a drink.”
I jump and squeal before I can stop myself. The street outside is lit, but it’s late. So late that most of the town has shut down. Which means there are few people about. I turn around to face Troy. He’s a pain in my ass. We dated for all of a hot mess—fucked-up—minute. He was an ass of epic proportions, and by date I mean three times. His “asshole-ism” was so huge I informed him I didn’t want to see him again. That was two months ago. Two months, and while most men would have taken that and walked away—not Troy. Troy seems to think my decision was an invitation to make himself more present in my life. He calls no less than twice a week. He shows up outside my shop at closing time and once he even followed me to a movie theater.
“How many times have I told you to stop following me around?” I grumble, barely looking at him. Troy has been harmless, but my bumping into him has become more frequent. I finally find the small bottle of pepper spray I keep in my purse and wrap my hand tightly around it.
“Oh come on, Jess, don’t be like that. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I could look in on an old friend. That’s not so bad, is it?” he whines.
His voice is whiney too… and way too nasally. That’s just one of the things I don’t like about him. The thing is, if he was a nicer person, the voice probably wouldn’t bother me—at least not as much.
“I don’t want to share a drink with you, Troy. I told you the last time we ran into each other at the movie theater, I think it’s best if we just remain acquaintances.”
“You don’t even want to be my friend anymore? That’s just messed up, Jess.”
“My name is Jessie. I don’t like it when you call me Jess—which you would know if you bothered to listen.”
“Wow, you’re really pissy today, aren’t you? Shit, are you on the rag?”
“You did not just ask me that,” I growl, thinking it’d be a great time to use that pepper spray—in his eyes—until the canister is empty.
“I think he did.”
My breath lodges in my throat and I close my eyes as my heart rate kicks up in speed.
“Who are you?”
“Jessie’s man,” Allen says from behind me, and his words allow me to become unstuck and turn around to look at him.
“Allen?” I whisper, my voice hoarse as breath still feels like it won’t fill my lungs.
“Hey, Jessie,” he says and looks down at me, his lips spreading into a smile. “Sorry I’m late,” he adds, and I blink, not sure I’m understanding the conversation.
“Late?”
“For our date, sweetheart. I got held up with work.”
“Oh… That’s okay,” I whisper, trying to snap out of the Allen “haze” I seem to have fallen in.
“Date? You’re dating?” Troy asks, his voice thick with anger.
“We’re doing a lot more than that,” Allen says, and he pulls me to him, and then hides me behind him as if he’s protecting me. I play along, shocked at what’s going on, and trying to process it all. “Who are you?” Allen adds.
“Me? I… uh… Jessie and I are… we used to… date.”
“You what?”
“We dated,” Troy says stubbornly.
“You dated this guy?”
“It was a moment of insanity that lasted three dates,” I answer, embarrassed.
“How long ago?” Allen asks.
“A couple of months,” I murmur.
?
??We’re trying to work things out,” Troy answers and my mouth drops open. I move from behind Allen, shaking my head no, feeling my own anger rise.
“You’re delusional. I told you on our third date I didn’t want anything to do with you anymore,” I yell. “You keep following me around! It’s bad enough you show up at my shop, but you even followed me to the movie theater. That’s harassment!”
“This fuck-wad has been stalking you?” Allen asks, and until he phrases it that way I never really thought of it like that.
“I, well… I don’t… Oh my God! You have been stalking me!” I exclaim—like an idiot.
“That stops now. I even think you are breathing the same air as Jessie, I’ll make you regret it. Are we clear?”
“You don’t have any control if we bump into each other. I live close by. There’s always a chance—”
“Then you need to move.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am deadly serious. You do not get close to Jessie. Not again, because if you do, you won’t like how I deal with it.”
“You’re being ridiculous. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Try me, Troy,” Allen replies, basically daring him. He also makes sure his body is between me and Troy now. Even in my mini-panic at discovering Troy is probably following me around I recognize what he’s doing and I can’t help but like that he’s protecting me. I don’t know if I’ve ever had that in my life. Actually I know I haven’t, not by a man. My mother always did, but this… this is different and it feels different.