Toi taking the key isn’t exactly a surprise. She owes me or the club nothing, but it still feels as if a dull knife has been plunged into me. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with it. But the feeling in my gut says I’m going to let her go. I’m too damn old for her, I’ve been fighting this unreasonable appeal she has. If she’s that unhappy here, then I need to let her go. I brought her in to protect her. Today her father signed his death warrant for a second time. He was dying before—now he just made sure it will be bloody.
“No.”
Ghost, Ride and a few of the others stop immediately. All look at me in surprise, but it’s Ghost who almost comes unglued.
“What in the fuck do you mean, no?”
“I mean, we shut nothing down. We act like we don’t know what in the fuck is going on.”
“What in the hell for?”
“So I can find out who in the fuck is betraying me and so I can make sure Weasel’s final breath is filled with pain.”
“What about Toi?”
That question wasn’t asked by Ghost. Surprisingly, it is Train that asks it. I look at him, and I see it. He knows I’m fighting myself where she’s involved. That doesn’t surprise me, but I don’t entirely like it either. I sigh, leaning against the wall, and wishing I was anywhere else right now. A million things run through my mind, but the two main ones are that Toi leaving will hurt Desi and Harley and that’s on me. When I put her in charge of them, I didn’t expect her to get to them. She’s under their skin. They care about her.
Just like she’s under my skin…
No matter how much I fight it.
“Marcum? What about Toi?” Ride pushes me again with his question. It’s a question I don’t want to answer.
“If she wants to go, we let her go.”
“Fuck, no!” Ghost growls.
“This was never about keeping her prisoner. She needed protection from her father. If that little meeting in there is any indication—she needed it a fuck of a lot sooner. No matter what happens Weasel is dead. Toi will be safe.”
“Christ,” Ghost mutters.
“Be glad, man,” I tell him, scratching my beard. I need to get back in there. Weasel’s been alone with her too much. But I also need to make this point.
“Glad? How do you fucking figure that?”
“If she stayed, man… If she stayed, she would never be yours,” I tell him finally. It’s time to lay my cards on the table with Ghost.
“You don’t know that.”
“I know I want her. No matter how much I shouldn’t or wish I didn’t, I want her.”
“She might not want you.” He shrugs.
“I wouldn’t give up, but even if she didn’t…” I trail off.
“Finish it,” he says, even though he knows me well enough there’s no point in him asking. Still, I’ll lay it out for him—if that’s what he wants.
“I’d never allow it to be anyone but me,” I tell him plainly.
He stares at me and for a minute I think he might call me out. Instead, he leaves. I watch his back as he goes through the door.
And that right there is why I’d win.
If it’s for Toi… I’d never walk away.
Never.
I look at Toi on the monitor. It’s for the fucking best I let her go. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, however. I turn to leave the room and get her away from Weasel.
“It’s time to get this started,” I growl to the other men.
It’s time to let her go.26Toi“You going to tell me what brought you and Kasha to the point of fighting?” Marcum asks as he walks me back from talking to my father. He’s standing beside me and his hand is on my lower back. It feels nice, and that weird electrical current seems to move through me again.
Marcum excites me.
What I don’t understand is why, or what caused the change. Was it because of the tenderness he showed me when I was brought to my father? The small kiss he placed on my cheek? I touch the spot before I can manage to stop myself.
“You kissed me,” I tell him, and I’m whispering so softly that I would be surprised if Marcum heard me. I’m half wishing he doesn’t.
He’s silent as we finish our walk down the hall to my room. When he opens the door to my room, I go inside expecting him to leave. He doesn’t; instead he comes in with me. I back away from him a few steps.
Does he know about the key in my pocket? Why do I feel guilty about having it?
“Is there something you want to tell me, Toi?”
I shake my head no, feeling panicked. My hand goes down in my pants pocket to find the key. If he finds it, what will he do? People don’t really cross Marcum and keep breathing.