“She wouldn’t want this,” Mark says, his voice gruff.
“She wouldn’t,” Tyler agrees.
“She’d want us to remember the good,” Ridge adds.
“She told me…” Kent clears his throat and starts again. “She made me promise that we would celebrate her life. That we would tell stories of our time with her, that we would write them down so we never forget.”
“Like that’s possible,” I say, kissing the top of Ryder’s head.
“You’re right,” Mara speaks up. “She lived her final days how she wanted. She made me promise to make you all come back to our place. Her only request was to include her parents.” Mara pulls away from me and walks over to Harold and Ethel. “Our home is open to you always. Ryder is your grandson, and we want you in his life. You’re welcome to stay with us as long as you want or need.”
“Thank you, dear,” Ethel says. “We’d like to come and visit, but we need to go home. It’s our home and where we raised her. That’s where we belong.”
“Well, today you’re coming back to ours. You’re going to eat some food and snuggle that baby boy. You’re going to listen to us tell stories about how incredible Amelia was as we celebrate her life.” She wipes at her eyes. “That’s what Amelia wanted.”
“She was so lucky to have all of you,” Harold speaks up.
“Well, I’m going to go call Sonia, and tell her to head that way,” Mom says, her arm linked through Dad’s.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, honey.”
“Get your babies,” Mara tells our friends. “We’re celebrating life, and we all need to be there. We’ll meet you back at our place.”
And just like that, my wife once again has proven how strong she is. Her heart is broken with the loss of her best friend, but she’s fighting through the sadness and the pain to give Amelia the final goodbye, the final celebration of her life that she wanted.
“We love you,” I whisper, taking one last look at the grave, before turning. And with my family by my side, I head to the car. “We’re going to celebrate your mommy, Ryder,” I tell my son softly.
That’s exactly what we do. Until the early hours of the morning, we sit around, eating and talking and telling stories. Everyone takes a turn with Ryder; he’s getting all the love today, but that’s okay. He’s lost something huge, something he doesn’t understand, but one day he will. One day when he’s old enough, we’re going to tell him about his first mother.
“He go down okay?” Mara asks, covering her yawn as soon as I walk back into the bedroom.
“Yeah, he didn’t even stir when I put him in his crib.” I grab the baby monitor and make sure it’s turned on.
“What took you so long?”
“Oh, I was in Finny’s room.”
“Is she awake?”
“No, I was just watching her sleep. Next week can’t come soon enough.” In the eyes of the law, Finley is already my daughter and we have the papers to prove it, but we’re still waiting on her new birth certificate with my name as hers. We’re going to have a daddy-daughter day. I’m going to make it something we do as often as possible for as long as she’ll let me. She’s independent now, so I can only imagine how headstrong she will be as a teenager.
She smiles at me. “Yeah, I can’t believe it took so long, but it’s done now and soon she’ll have it on paper that she’s a Jennings too.”
“Finally,” I say, stripping out of my jeans and sliding under the covers. “Come here, you,” I say, holding my arms open. My wife doesn’t hesitate to come to me. I hold her close and close my eyes. This past year has been hell, but having Mara by my side has kept me sane. Today was hard, saying goodbye to an old friend, a best friend, an aunt, a daughter, and a mother. It took a lot out of all of us. We weren’t ready to say goodbye.
“Do you want to open it now or later?” Mara asks.
The envelope. Amelia gave it to us and told us that we couldn’t open it until after her funeral.
“You decide.”
“Can we do it now?”
“Sure.” Pulling away, I turn on the lamp and reach into the nightstand and pull out the blue envelope. “You want me to do it?” I ask.
“Yes.” Mara snuggles up to my chest and I drape an arm around her, then slide my finger under the seal and open it. I pull out the card and the outside makes me chuckle. It’s balloons and confetti with Congratulations written on the front.
“She’s crazy.” Mara laughs while wiping under her eyes.
* * *
Mr. and Mrs. Jennings.
I can never repay you for all that you have given me. If I know you like I think I do, you spent today celebrating my life. Thank you for that, but now it’s time to live yours. I watched as the two of you fell madly in love, and that love has been tested and tried. Trust me on this, I was part of the test. Be happy. Love those babies of yours as if it’s your last day. Make sure any of my future nieces and nephews know that cool Auntie A is watching over them. I love you both.
* * *
Amelia.
* * *
“Damn her,” Mara says as she reaches for a tissue.
“She always did have to get the last word in.” I can’t help but smile. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” She waves me off. “I miss her.”
“I know. I do too.” I place the envelope back in the nightstand and turn off the light. We lie in silence as the heaviness of the day and her final words to us set in. “Do you want more? Babies, I mean?”
“We have two healthy and happy children, but if we should be lucky enough to have more, yeah, I’d be happy about it. You?”
“Yes.” I pause, thinking about Mara and her belly growing round with our baby. “How soon?”
“What?” she says with a chuckle.
“How soon can we have another one?”
“Ryder is still an infant.”
“Okay?”
“That’s a lot of diapers.”
“I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“Seth, are you being serious right now?”
“Yeah, I mean when you’re ready. When our family is ready, I want more. If we decide it’s now that we start trying, then we do. If we decide to wait, I’m okay with that too, but I don’t want to wait too long. I want them to be close in age, so they can play together and be close.”
“Let’s give it a few months. Let’s adjust to our new reality, then we can talk about it.”
“We should practice,” I say, kissing her neck. “You k
now, for when the time comes.”
“Seth Jennings, what am I going to do with you?”
“Make lots of babies.”
“Goodnight, crazy man.”
“Goodnight, my wife.” I pull her closer, and with a smile on my face, sleep claims me.
Epilogue
Mara
* * *
It’s his first Christmas. It’s only been five weeks since we laid Amelia to rest, but the pain is still there. It lingers in our daily lives, but we keep pushing through. Ryder is thriving. He’s happy and healthy, and his little chubby cheeks, they light up our life. Finley loves him to pieces, and it’s her favorite thing in the world to make him laugh or smile at her.
I have a framed picture of Ryder and Amelia in his room, every night, sometimes multiple times a day, we stop and tell her how much we love her. Finley has one too. She loved her aunt A something fierce.
Today has been good. Harold and Ethel stayed here last night so they could watch the kids open gifts from Santa. Sure, Ryder is too small to know the difference, but Finley isn’t, and that little girl, she’s captured their hearts just as Ryder has. They spoiled both our kids rotten, and their smiles are huge because of it. I’m glad to see them smiling, living. I can’t imagine burying a child, but they are working through it.
“Mommy, wook!” Finley holds up the five-dollar bill that was in her Christmas card from Grandma and Grandpa Anderson.
“Wow, look at you. You better go put it in your piggy bank.” She’s up and racing toward her room before the words are even out of my mouth.
“You’re an amazing mother, Mara. Thank you for loving him,” Ethel says, nodding to a sleeping Ryder in her arms.
“He’s my son,” I tell her. “My heart doesn’t know the difference between him and Finley. I promise you that.”
“We know, dear,” she assures me. “Thank you so much for having us, but we need to get going. It’s going to be dark soon, and we don’t like to be out after dark.”