Landon’s eyes were still on where I’d sucked the ice cream off my finger. “I was talking about your general level of comfort. This date was to convince yourself it wasn’t crazy to finish the list with me, right?”
“I usually try not to sign sex contracts with men until the third date. So, if I end up signing that thing after only two, you’ll know you did really well.”
Landon chuckled. “I thought you weren’t counting the aquarium as a date. But hey, I’ll take it.”
“So, why here? Other than your inside connection.”
“I was serious. You looked so happy at the aquarium. I just figured you were an animal lover and…”
Landon was smiling.
“What?”
“It’s just interesting,” he said. “Women I’ve dated… They don’t—” he paused, running his tongue over his teeth and frowning at something. “I appreciate this. It was thoughtful. I’m more used to lazy flourishes—like front row tickets to a basketball game or something.”
“You’re welcome. But don’t give me too much credit. I’m too broke for a lazy flourish. Being piss poor does wonders for your creativity,” I said. “So, I was right? You’re super into animals, aren’t you? Do you know all the scientific names and that kind of thing? Habitats, mating patterns?”
“Not exactly,” he said. “The truth is my thing with the aquarium is a little more sentimental than anything else.”
He focused on his ice cream, as if he was going to get away with dropping that little nugget of curiosity and moving on.
“Sentimental how?” I asked.
Landon looked up, and it was clear he was deciding whether he wanted to go into more detail. Finally, he licked his lips, wadded up his napkin, and set it inside his ice cream bowl. “My brother and I had a little bit of an up and down childhood. Mostly it was because our dad could never decide if he wanted to be a shitty father or a good one. But I had this birthday one year. I was turning nine, and I guess he’d been shitty for a couple months and the guilt got to him. So he took me to that aquarium, just me and him. Normally, he’d just kind of complain at places like that or find somewhere to get a beer and zone out while he let us wander.”
“That time though,” Landon said. His eyes had gone distant, like he was seeing it in his mind. “He stayed with me the whole time. Didn’t touch a drop of alcohol. He read the plaques to me, told me about the animals, and even paid the extra money for the dolphin encounter. It wasn’t like him at all, and I just remember all day I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to kind of bottle it up. I knew the shitty ones were going to come again, but I thought if I could just sort of capture that moment, I could live with it.”
When he stopped talking and looked at me, he seemed to realize what he’d just said. Landon laughed at himself. “Sorry. That all sounds really pathetic. Doesn’t it?”
“No,” I said. “It doesn’t.” I suddenly felt like the world’s biggest asshole for teasing him about liking the aquarium. I was also fairly sure he was just being nice about liking the zoo visit, too. “Jesus,” I said suddenly. “And I bring you here, which probably just makes you think about all that. I’m sorry. We can go somewhere else if you want.”
“I’m happy right here.”
Our eyes met, and as a few seconds ticked by, it felt like his words began to take on new meaning. I found myself smiling and biting my lip. “Well,” I said. “Do you want to get up close and personal with some elephants?”
“You really were serious about that?”
“When it comes to elephants, I don’t joke around.”
As promised, one of Bree’s best friends, Luna, let us sneak into the elephant enclosure a little while later. We got to hand feed the baby elephant, hose them down, and even sit on the leg of an adult elephant to pose for pictures. Landon tried to scowl when I made him pose with me, but I could tell he was enjoying himself.
We thanked Luna when it was over and walked back toward the exit. It felt like neither of us knew exactly what to do. I didn’t want the night to be over yet, but I also didn’t want to weird him out by suggesting we go walk around and look at the same exhibits again. So we headed for the exit in relative silence.
When we reached the parking lot, I was still thinking about his comment. I’m happy right here. What surprised me most about it was how good it felt to know I had made him happy. The more I learned about Landon, the more I saw how broken he must be on the inside. I liked that I could be the one to help him forget about all the pain in his past. There was still something he wasn’t telling me, but I was making progress, which was starting to feel like it was enough, for now.