“He was asking for it.”
“And sometimes you don’t have to give people what they ask for.”
Cassian laughed dryly. “And sometimes you do.”
“I’m serious, Cassian. I’m still working on forgiving you for what you did to Clint the first time. I’m not even sure I should. If you hurt him again…”
“It sounds like you still have a thing for him.”
“I don’t have to like somebody to hope you don’t murder them. Did that ever occur to you?”
“No.”
I sighed angrily, then decided I needed some space. I left him standing there, which regrettably left Zoe and Marne in the middle of the wolf pack at the same time. I could apologize later, but all I knew was I needed to get away from Cassian before I hit him in front of the whole school.
He was impossible.
One step above a caveman.
And not for the first time, I wondered if I was crazy for thinking I could find a way to tame him.31CassianI could barely keep my head on practice because fucking Clint spent the entire afternoon sitting by the track field with his friends. We had our biggest game of the year coming up on Friday, and the last thing I needed was to mentally check out.
Still, the idea of Clint staring at Charli’s ass while she practiced was driving me fucking insane. It only got worse, too.
The track kids wrapped up their practice early for some reason, which meant I could only watch as Clint jogged to catch up with Charli and the two of them walked toward the locker rooms together. Charli had proven to be defiant as hell, and I was worried she might do something with Clint just to prove a point to me.
Tristan slapped my helmet. “You with us today, fucker?”
I gave him a shove in the pads. “Give me the ball and find out.”
We ran the play, which was supposed to be at half speed. But when Jayson—our linebacker—came to wrap me up at the line of scrimmage, I lowered my shoulder and sent him thudding to the ground on his back. I spiked the ball on his chest and spread my arms at Tristan, who just shook his head.
“Cassian!” Coach screamed. “You fucking worthless sack of pig shit! Go shower off before you injure any more of my players. And you had better come to play on Friday, so help me God. The only thing keeping you on this team is the fact that I wanna win too damn bad to cut your ass. But I dare you to give me an excuse. Play like shit and you’re gone, you got me?”
I stripped off my helmet and jogged toward the locker rooms.
When I got closer, I saw Clint standing in front of Charli, who was red faced and looking down. Fuck. Her body language reminded me of how she’d looked before I’d spread her legs on the kitchen table. Pure. Shy. Innocent.
But willing.
A few days ago, I would’ve walked over and figured out if I could rip Clint’s head off with my bare hands.
Except I needed to know the truth. I had to find out if Charli was worth it, because all my hatred and rage had transformed into something else. I still didn’t know when it had happened or how, but I stopped believing my own bullshit. I didn’t want her to fall for me to punish her.
I wanted her to fall for me because my dad died trying to save her. Because all my angsty bitching about his death being meaningless wouldn’t be true if Charli and I could make it work. It would be the one thing I could do to make his sacrifice have real meaning.
But even that was its own level of bullshit, because the truth was, I had feelings for her. It didn’t matter what morality said or what my past wanted me to believe. I felt good when she was around, and I absolutely felt good when I was inside her.
Now she was trying to pull away, and if I squeezed her wrists to make her stay, I’d have no idea what she really wanted.
For once in my life, I actually needed to know. I had to know what Charli wanted.
Did she want me, or did she want that scrawny, chlorine smelling prick?
Of course, the moment he tried to put his hands on her, all bets were off. But I was going to keep my distance and give her a chance to decide.
With a lump the size of a basketball in my chest, I walked away from the locker rooms and waited in my car. I waited long enough to see Charli come out half an hour later freshly showered and in new clothes. Normally, she walked home. Today, though, she got in Clint’s truck and the two of them pulled off campus.