I grabbed a chocolate and tossed it into my mouth. The taste was sweet, and to tell the truth, I hadn’t really enjoyed sweets in a long time. They were only in the pantry for Ben, but I did take my training seriously. Maybe too seriously.
The two of us snacked on chocolates in relative silence for a while before I spoke. “Did you want to talk about it? Whatever upset you back there.”
Nola’s studied her lap. “It’s just girl stuff.”
“You’re sure? I was worried you thought this was some kind of play on my part. Get the hot nanny into my bed and then the next move would be… well.” I shrugged, feeling uncharacteristically awkward.
She was watching me with a raised eyebrow. “The hot nanny, hm?”
Shouldn’t have said that. “I’m purely speaking about how people would view this situation, I mean. Other people.” Wow, Jack. Smooth as hell.
“Oh, okay. So you’re saying you think other people would find me hot, but that you definitely don’t.”
“Objectively speaking, you’ve got all the physical characteristics that men look for.”
Her eyebrow lifted. “Thanks, Darwin. Do you think that kind of assessment should come with a proper academic citation, though?”
I pressed my head into the headboard, wishing I could rewind this conversation back to the part where I’d stuck my foot in my mouth and say something else. Anything else.
“I don’t want to make things weird,” I said finally. “You work for me, and if you know your boss thinks you’re attractive, it could be uncomfortable.”
“Right now, I don’t know what my boss thinks. I just know what he thinks other people think.” She was smiling through the whole exchange, as though the entire thing was great fun for her. That made one of us.
I did a quick and desperate search for a way out of the hole I’d just dug myself and found nothing but a shovel and more soft dirt beneath my feet. “I assume there are mirrors where you live. You must be able to make an educated guess on what I think of you.”
She was grinning wider now. She repositioned herself so she was facing me, which had the unfortunate effect of showing me that yes, she had definitely taken off the pants she was wearing. Except I could clearly see a gray and black stripe pattern I recognized from a pair of my own boxers. They were the tight-fitting type, and she must’ve had them pulled up high on her waist because the material was hugging the “V” between her legs in a very distracting way.
“Are those my boxers?” I blurted.
Nola crossed her legs, cheeks going red. “Okay, weird, I know. But I wasn’t rooting through your underwear for kicks. I thought it’d be weird to just have my panties on in your shirt, and… Well, I guess I kinda chose between two weird things and picked what felt like the least weird? But I’m still wearing panties under these.” Without giving me time to react, she tugged the shirt up to her waistline, flashing the smooth white skin of her stomach as she tugged the boxers down enough for me to see.
My eyes were locked on the thin strip of lacey pink fabric that arced up over her hips and plunged back beneath my boxers toward her pussy. My brain filled in the blanks, and then every spare ounce of blood in my body seemed to spontaneously appear in my dick.
I nodded stiffly. “I see.”
Nola let the boxers snap back over her exposed skin and tugged the shirt down. Except the tugging gesture only managed to press the fabric against her breasts, giving me a glimpse of her nipples pressing through the material.
For the first time in my life, I seriously considered running away from a woman. Literally running away. It felt like the only way. Maybe it was the only way this ended without me pinning her on her back and fucking her brains out for the rest of the night. From finding out if she tasted as sweet as she smelled and what it sounded like when she came.
But the fear I needed to focus on wasn’t of what I wanted to do to her or how much I was starting to be convinced I’d like it. I needed to be scared that fucking her would be putting my dick before my son. Because a nanny could last forever, especially one who needed money like Nola did. There were no break ups. There was no drama. There was just a steady paycheck and a woman who, along with her little brother, worked like some magical elixir for my son.
But a girlfriend? Even a fuck buddy? Those had expiration dates. That meant the moment I decided I was willing to risk Ben’s wellbeing for my own selfish desires would be the moment I turned on the time-bomb.