He follows me over the edge, holding me close. He rolls us onto our sides, his cock still inside me, and presses another kiss to the back of my neck. “You like that idea.”
I can’t tell what he’s thinking with him behind me. His tone is dry, but it’s always dry. Even after seven years of marriage, I sometimes need facial expression cues to know if he’s being serious or joking. I try for a laugh, but it comes out forced. “I like you fucking me. You always make me come.”
“Mmm.” He trails his fingers up my stomach, making me squirm…and then moan when I feel him hardening again.
“Again?”
“Call me inspired.” He cups my breasts, but seems content to stay seated deep inside me. The way he plays with my nipples is almost idle, distracted, and somehow that makes it even hotter.
“Grayson.”
“I like it, too,” he says abruptly.
I freeze. “What?”
“The fantasy. Having my fingers in your pussy while he watches. Watching his fingers in you, his mouth on you.” He hesitates. “Watching you ride his cock. I think I’d like that. I think I’d like it a lot.”
I can’t stop myself from clenching around my husband’s cock in response to his admission, my body once again telling on me. “What are you saying?”
Grayson hooks one hand under my thigh and lifts my leg wide to hook over his hip. He starts moving slowly, fucking me deep and thoroughly. “We play games all the time, act out fantasies. How is this any different?”
“I don’t—” I gulp in a breath. “I can’t think with you doing that.”
“Doing what?” He starts stroking my clit again and nips the sensitive spot where my shoulder meets my neck. “Doing this?”
“Grayson, I’m serious. What are you saying?” Except I don’t sound serious. I sound like I’m asking him for permission. I don’t even know for what.
“A new game, Emma.” He thrusts deep, and I can’t stop myself from moaning, loud and wanton. “I want to give you to Derek. One night. I want to watch him eat your pussy, make you come, fuck you.” He keeps driving my desire higher with his movements and words. “I want to wrap you up like a gift just to watch him rip the ribbons off you.”
And then I’m orgasming again. My body screaming yes, yes, yes even as my mind is shouting of danger ahead. This time, Grayson doesn’t follow me over the edge. He pulls out and shoves me onto my back, and then he’s inside me again, stroking hard and deep. “Tell me you don’t want it and I’ll drop it.”
I can’t think through the pleasure, can’t do more than cling to him as he stares down at me, demanding a truth I’m not sure we’re ready to have between us. “You’re buzzed. Lust-drunk. It’s a terrible idea.”
Grayson stops moving and looks down at me. There’s something like vulnerability in his eyes. “Tell me the truth, Emma.”
I open my mouth to lie, to send us veering back into safety, but I can’t look him in the face and speak anything but the truth. Not even about this. “It sounds hot as hell,” I whisper. “I could get off on being his gift alone, because you’re the one directing it.”
He starts moving again, rougher this time. “And because you get off on being bad.”
“Yes.” There’s no use denying that. We have too much history of playing that particular game. I love pretending I’m doing things I shouldn’t, love it when Grayson indulges me, letting me play the dirty little slut. It’s always worked for us, because it’s us.
He drives into me one last time and buries his face in my neck as he comes. I stare at the ceiling and mentally prepare for him to take it all back. Dirty talking, playing out fantasies, anything said during sex doesn’t have to hold up to the light of day. We’re just playing. That’s all.
Except as Grayson pulls out of me and arranges himself at my side, it doesn’t feel like playing. It feels like we’ve taken the first step down a road that could lead to the ruin of everything I hold dear in this world.
He reaches up and cups my jaw, gently guiding me to look at him. “I meant what I said.”
I lick my lips. “It sounds really sexy in theory but…”
“If you don’t want to do it, we won’t.” He doesn’t move, doesn’t seem to breathe. “But I think you’re a hell of a better Christmas gift than the watch I got him.”
“You can’t mean it.” When he just looks at me, I continue. “Grayson, even if I were reckless enough to say yes, this is the kind of thing that makes his visiting our house in the future weird. You’ll resent me. It will change things.”