I press myself to his chest and kiss the corner of his mouth. “Not real life? Is it fantasy that your best friend’s wife is fucking you right now with his enthusiastic approval? Is it fantasy that if you come back to our bed tonight, you’ll fuck Grayson? Is it fantasy that I love you?” Shit. Shit, I didn’t mean to say the last out loud.
Derek goes perfectly still beneath me. “What?”
“I think you heard me.”
“You love me.” He sounds almost shocked. “That’s bullshit. You just love the feeling of coming around my cock.”
That’s about enough of that. I use my hands on his chest to rise up so I can meet his gaze. “Yes. And all the various ways of fucking we’ve done over the last twenty-four hours. But don’t you dare cheapen our friendship by saying I don’t love you, you asshole. You don’t get to tell me how I feel.”
“Emma,” He looks downright tormented. “You’re not making this easy.”
Because he doesn’t feel the same way.
I swallow down my hurt, shove it down deep. It’s not comfortable, but I have to respect what he’s saying. I have to try, at least. I attempt a smile. “You’re right. We’re talking too much.” I pull myself off his cock and move up his chest. “Eat my pussy, Derek. If we only have until the snow clears, I want as many memories of this as I can store up.”
He does. He eats me out until we’re both covered in sweat and I’ve come more times than I can count. Until I beg him to stop because I can’t take another lick.
Only then does Derek agree to come back and go to bed with us.
We walk back to my bedroom naked, Derek’s giant cock so hard that it looks like it hurts. I almost offer to take care of it for him, but I suspect Grayson will have his own ideas about it. I’m not so greedy to deny my husband that, especially not when this is apparently goodbye. One last hurrah because Derek doesn’t believe we can make a go of this. I’m not sure I blame him. What are the odds we could make it work? Unconventional doesn’t begin to cover it. We might have a chance with all three of us onboard, but if he doesn’t have faith in the outcome, we’re doomed before we start.
No one says a word, but what would be the point? Grayson takes one look at my face and understanding dawns. He gives me a small smile, a promise of reassurance, and then focuses on Derek and his giant cock. “Get over here.”
They meet at the edge of the bed, a clashing that’s almost violent. Derek topples him back to the mattress, and their hands are everywhere. Stroking and gripping and attempting to pull each other closer.
My chest feels tight just watching them. This could have been our life. If we’d realized what we wanted earlier. If Derek was open to the idea. If we hadn’t fucked this up. If, if, if.
They thrust together, but it’s not enough. By the time Derek looks up, I already have the bottle of lube in my hand. I pass it over silently, and he motions to a spot on the mattress next to them. “Come here, Emma.”
I sink down and lean against the headboard. My body is still zinging from everything Derek did to me in his bedroom, but my desire ramps up at the sight of him spreading my husband’s legs and sliding his lubed up cock into Grayson’s ass. “Holy shit,” I breathe. It was sexy as hell to be in the middle of the ménage, but watching them fuck is just as hot.
It’s not the pure mechanics of it, though seeing them strain toward each other with every stroke is a sight to behold. No, it’s the way Grayson looks up at Derek. He doesn’t have to say that he loves his best friend. It’s right there for both of us to see. Just like it’s blatantly obvious that he’s saying goodbye the same way Derek is saying goodbye.
It makes me want to scream. I have to close my eyes and breathe through it, have to let go of my hurt over the rejection. We’re the ones that changed the rules. Not Derek. It’s not his fault that we couldn’t keep to the terms of this Christmas gift.
I open my eyes in time to see Derek orgasm, grinding into Grayson just shy of brutally. He barely pauses before sliding down my husband’s body and sucking his cock. Through it all, he has eyes only for Grayson. I can’t read his expression, can’t tell if it’s regret or love or something else altogether in his eyes.
Grayson reaches over and laces his fingers through mine. He’s still gripping me when he comes, pumping into Derek’s mouth as his best friend swallows him down.