The door swings open before I’m able to register what has happened. Rick stands there, tall and imposing, not at all the warm presence that I know him to be.
Rick, I mouth. Please, I know we haven’t talked, but I need your help…
His gaze flickers to my swollen tummy.
I am pregnant, I whisper. Please. The baby’s yours.
He looks me directly in the eyes. A cold terror runs like ice water down my back. There is no pity, no affection in his eyes--not even recognition. It’s like I am a complete stranger to him.
Then, he shuts the door in my face.
The darkness grows deeper.
I scream, sinking to the ground, as I realize I’m all alone…
I wake up with a jolt and realize I’m twisted and twined in my sheets. I press a hand to my forehead and feel it covered in sweat. My breath is panting, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
The clock reads 3 a.m. I still have twelve hours until I meet Rick.
I let out a long breath, taking a shaky sip of water from the glass on my nightstand. I’ve been tortured by nightmares all night, but that was by far the worst. I can’t believe he shut the door in my face when I needed him.
What if he does the same in real life? Slowly, I turn over and stare blindly into the darkness.Standing now on his front porch, I can’t help but remember that dream in vivid, awful detail. I swallow, hard, bringing myself back to the present moment. At least Rick is no devil or demon; in fact, Bailey reminded me that he’s about as honorable as a human man can get. Surely, he’ll have mercy on me, or pity at the very least. In my heart though, I am hoping for even more: pure acceptance, a rekindling of our love, and even unadulterated joy at the news that we’re expecting a child together.
Is that too much to ask?
I bring my hand up to knock on the door. Then, it falters and falls back to my side. Come on, Kara, I say to myself, gnawing anxiously on my bottom lip. Do it for your baby.
I knock, hard, three times. Then I wait.
It feels like an eternity passes before the door slowly begins to open. Like a coward, I even consider bolting back to my car and driving away, never to return. But then, I remind myself that our baby deserves a chance at having both parents--and that maybe I deserve a chance at love. I stay rooted to the spot, breathing hard.
When the door finally opens, Rick and I stare as if seeing the other for the first time. Rick certainly looks different. His chestnut hair has grown long, and it’s uncombed and pushed back behind his ears. He looks thinner, and there are slight dark circles beneath his eyes. But he’s still incredibly handsome with those piercing amber eyes and chiseled features.
Of course, I’m not exactly one to talk. I wonder how I must look to him, my long hair unstyled, wearing not an ounce of make-up on my face. I’d wanted to look my best for him but hadn’t been able to summon the energy. I just ran a brush through my long blonde hair and then put on a hoodie.
Rick, though… My breath catches in the base of my throat. I still can’t deny my powerful attraction to him. His skin is bronzed, and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes are still there. I have a compulsion to press my lips to those crinkles before collapsing in his arms, but I can’t. This isn’t the place. I lick suddenly dry lips, unable to summon any words, capable only of taking him in.
“Kara,” Rick says in lieu of greeting, and the way he breathes my name reminds me of a prayer. It makes me want to kiss him so fiercely, so passionately that he forgets I ever left.
Instead, I take a deep breath. “Rick,” I say, shifting my weight uncomfortably from foot to foot. I wrote and rewrote a speech last night, not trusting myself enough to say the right thing in the moment. The prepared words weigh heavy on my tongue. Will they be enough? Will they mean anything at all?
“Rick, I…”
Rick’s eyes narrow suddenly, and I clamp my mouth shut. I follow the direction of his gaze to see that it is on my stomach. My hands are resting on my tummy, and although you can’t see much of a bump still, it’s a telling gesture.
Rick snaps his gaze to meet my own. Amber eyes flash, even as I open and close my mouth like a helpless fish.
“Come inside. Now,” he growls.
He places his hand on my shoulder and ushers me into the house, closing the door behind us. With trembling hands, I unzip my coat, knowing that I won’t be able to conceal the truth anymore. I hang it carefully on the back of a kitchen chair, unable to face him just yet. My shoulders shake as I feel his presence come up behind me.