I have been inside many times now... because they allowed it.
First, it was at Raven’s demand, and they weren’t happy, but then things shifted.
The strong four became a loose five. I wasn’t in, but I was present, accepted.
Will my foot even cross the steps this time?
I swallow past the lump forming in my throat, looking to Maybell.
Her dark eyes move between mine, a knowing glint staring back as she confirms what I assumed—she knows what she isn’t told.
“You put it off long enough, girl,” she scolds, but there is no anger behind her words.
My shoulders fall.
A seriousness takes over her, a hint of tenderness she typically reserves brimming the surface. “Go on, Tor. The sooner it happens, the sooner it’s out.”
“The sooner they send me packing.”
“The faster they can forgive,” she counters.
A humorless laugh escapes and I drop my head back.
“Uh-huh, yeah.” I stand. “’Cause they’re known to forgive outsiders.”
“You’re not an outsider.”
“I’m not her, either.” I look to Maybell, speaking of Raven. “I might not be just the blonde from the group home anymore, but I’m not her. They don’t... they won’t understand.”
They have no real reason to try.
“Raven will want to understand,” Maybell says. “And slowly, they’ll follow.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
Maybell stands, stepping right in front of me. “Then you make her.”
Make her.
I can’t even laugh, though I want to—as if anyone who has ever tried to make Raven Carver, Raven Brayshaw, do a damn thing has ever been successful.
Yeah, right.
With a deep breath, I hold Maybell’s gaze a moment before I force my feet into the hall, out the front door, and onto the dirt road that leads to the mansion, venturing deeper into the trees and off the path once it’s in view.
It’s been a month since Raven and Maddoc got married and decided to take a mini-vacation to breathe after all the shit they went through to get to where they are now—on top of the town.
During that time, I’ve gone back to being who I came to this place as, the overlooked loner I worked hard to create.
Before, it was easy. I’ve always been a watcher, a listener, and I’ve never been social, so I purposefully avoided useless conversation, which helped block out unwanted friendships. The fact that the few others from the group home were mixed into Brayshaw High already meant I wouldn’t stick out like an ugly duck amongst swans, they were used to seeing less ‘pristine’ females around.
I knew and appreciated quickly no one would bother with a bitchy blonde mess with winged eyeliner and red lips, not when prissiness and perfection and mirrored personalities were so sickeningly desired.
Now, though, being who I convinced myself I wanted to be when I first arrived here took an effort I didn’t even want to give.
Living the loner life was no longer appealing.
Realizing this was like granite to the face.
It was only days into hiding myself that I started to grow restless and couldn’t stay away, no matter how hard I tried.
That’s when I knew for sure there was no going back. I’ve always had self-control, but it seems to have slipped.
What started out as righting wrongs I’d helped create, turned into more and without permission.
My little wonder grew to want, want morphed into need, and there was no going back from there.
Possibility bloomed, grew richer roots, and clawed its way into the ground around me.
I couldn’t stay away, so I compromised with my own damn mind, and it was back to hiding in plain sight, like before.
Like now.
But Raven called. She’s home, and very unlike Captain.
He looks for me, scans the yard when he passes the girls’ home, and I have no doubt he’d stop if he spotted me, which is why I made sure he didn’t.
He’s patient, or he forces himself to be anyway.
Raven is the complete opposite.
She’ll get out, walk right inside the group home and drag my ass out the door herself, if even just to hang out on the porch after she did it.
My cheeks fill with air as I attempt to calm my nerves.
Out of everything—knowing who attacked Raven when she was young, the news of my being there when it happened, the truth about Donley being both our biological fathers, Raven’s mom being a complete fucking psychopath, and everything in between—this is where my real fear lies.
This is the part I’ve dreaded the most, the disclosure of a secret so devastatingly complicated.
“Standing in the shadows again?”
The sultry, crisp voice wraps around my ribs and squeezes the air from my lungs. My heart beats double-time as I spin.
Messy blond hair, clear blue-green eyes, and a small side grin, Captain stares.
Shit.
Twigs snap beneath his feet as he comes closer, the crack of each one spiking my pulse higher.
My spine straightens, and I shuffle backward until my shoulder blades meet the tree I tucked myself into, allowing no room for an escape should I need one.