“What exactly are you saying?”
“Don’t play dumb, daughter.”
I move closer to her. “You used me to help a man who used to pay to fuck you, while I sat down the hall by the fucking way, who needed help getting out of prison?”
She laughs, but her eyes harden, and she blows smoke straight in my face.
Oh my god. “He paid you.”
She scoffs. “He pays me. Think I’d give up my welfare so easy? He’s been paying me for years, Raven. Little here and there. Paid off this trailer for me, too, ‘course he refused to sign it over to me. Smart on his part, I probably would have sold it and ditched you along the way if he did. But I knew the longer he sat, the more I could squeeze from him. Monthly checks like clockwork for the past thirteen years. Finally got the deal I wanted from him. If the state wasn’t gonna pay me no more, then he sure was.”
Thirteen years? The judge had said he served eleven.
This doesn’t make any sense.
She laughs, the sound weak and dead. “I see you’re still missing pieces, daughter, but don’t bother asking.” She grins and shakes her head. “I’m on strict orders from the man himself. If I wanna keep getting my money, I keep my mouth closed when you come knocking.” She tilts her head. “The bonus is seeing you desperate. Pathetic, like I knew you were.”
“And what would have happened if I simply left?”
“I knew you wouldn’t once you had a taste of life outside these walls. He knew it too. He’s a very smart man. A life for a life.”
“What the fuck does that mean, Ravina?” I push closer.
She shakes her head and tries to laugh, but it only comes out halfway and a lost look fills her eyes. “They’ll never let you go. Not now that they have you.”
When my forehead pinches, she sits up farther, the bruises lining her arms more visible now with the light from the candle flickering beside her.
She assesses me, and a deep frown mars her face. “You wanna stay. Raven ... don’t be fucking stupid.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“Don’t tell me you think those boys haven’t known since day one?” My mother smirks, far too proud, hoping to witness the potential fall of her own daughter. “Why do you think they moved you in with them? Security. To make sure, when good ole daddy went before the judge he had a happy story to tell of how the very daughter of the woman who had accused him of rape has forgiven and forgotten, and she’s even fallen for his own sons. A tale of how it brought you together, forcing one big twisted family.”
Oh my god, I knew it. I fucking knew it!
I’ve been thinking since the second I stepped out of that damn courthouse. Stockton California, a rape and cocaine. Knowing the man as my mom’s client, and hearing those details, I fucking knew. It all screamed my mother.
“He gave up his life, in exchange for the ownership of yours. A life ... for a life. He got you to fall and he wasn’t even here to make it happen. Roped you from a hundred miles away, watched from other’s eyes, and now he’ll come home. He controls those boys, has their trust and loyalty from a prison cell. They do what he asks, follows his orders, trusts his judgment without his presence – just his voice and they’re desperate need to please him. You think it would take more than a simple seed planted for them to stand beside him looking down at you? You’re nothing but a means to an end.”
My throat tries to close at her words, but I won’t show her the panic she’s caused. “Don’t pretend you’d care either way.”
“Don’t fuck with my money.”
“I hope you rot in hell.”
“Oh honey, you’ll be right there with me. Don’t be mistaken. The poison that runs through me, runs through you. You’re your mother’s daughter, through and through.”
“I’ll never be like you.”
A smile lines her eyes. “I heard you almost did...”
My head draws back. “What do you mean you—”
“It might not have happened this time, but look what you were prepared to do, and for what? A couple hard bodies who make you feel wanted?”
“You talked to Collins Graven?” I growl.
She shrugs. “He may have made a small visit before that night.”
“What the hell did he want?”
“To know how to get to you, I told him to play at your pride.” She winks. “He called to let me know it worked and wired me some quick cash. He’s a good lookin’ boy, pays well, too.”
I swallow, anxiousness climbing up my throat, threatening to close off my airway.
She’s not lying. I did almost throw away all I want to be ... for three boys I was never supposed to know, but was purposely placed in front of, dangled like bait he knew the wolves couldn’t resist. But for him to know this, he also had to know me.