All she wanted to do was be alone and try to heal on her own terms, without everyone telling her what they thought would help her. She didn’t want any more help. Did they not understand she may never be okay?
They talked about the inevitable, about if one of them died before the other. He wouldn’t have wanted her to keep the pain inside until it ate her alive.
“I love you, but it’s time for me to press forward.” She lifted her hand and rubbed it along the smooth granite top. “I’m sorry our last conversation was me acting like a jealous bitch.” The tears fell harder, and she swallowed. “I should have told you that I loved you.” Poppy squeezed her eyes shut as the ever-present pain filled her. Whoever said it would get easier with time should be shot, because they were a damn liar.
“I’m going to Alaska of all places.” She laughed, because she knew Jon would have thought her crazy as hell. “Don’t worry; I promise to watch out for bears.” She couldn’t help but tease, since she knew that would have been something Jon pointed out… all the damn bears in Alaska.
Making the decision to move so far away hadn’t been easy. “I just want to escape, Johnny, and Alaska seems like the perfect place to do that.”
After Jon died, every single person in his family had come out of the woodwork to give their condolences. When Blake, Jon’s brother, had called, something inside her shifted. Poppy couldn’t explain it, and it made no sense. Up until that moment, she had just wanted to keep to herself, but hearing Blake’s voice brought back good memories of her time with Jon, of all three of them laughing and enjoying life.
He’d known Jon just as well as she had, and because of that, she felt a familiar connection.
She had seen Blake enough times growing up that she considered them close despite him moving out of Ohio to the barrens of Alaska. He was ten years older than her and Jon, but he’d stayed in contact over the years.
And after he moved away, the visits from him had lessened significantly. Now, after two years of talking every day and unloading all her pain and worries on the one person who had been just as close to Jon as she was, Poppy made the decision that would forever change her life, one she hoped was for the best.
She gave one last touch to Jon’s headstone and stood. She gripped the lapels of her jacket and pulled them together. The knit hat she wore did nothing to stop the cold that seeped into her bones.
“Bye. I love you.” Poppy turned away and strode quickly to the waiting taxi. She headed straight to the airport, with only a few suitcases of her belongings with her. Everything else held too many memories.
Once in the cab, she wrapped her arms around her middle and stared out at the cemetery as it faded in the distance. This was it. She was leaving for good, or at least until she didn’t feel like she was crawling out of her skin.
Poppy looked down at her left hand, saw the ring around her finger, and swallowed past the lump in her throat. Slipping off her wedding band, she tucked it into her pocket. She knew the pain of losing her husband would always be there, but the life she lived now wasn’t meaningful, and Poppy knew she had to make a change.
So, that’s what she planned on doing, one solitary moment at a time.Chapter 2Blithe, AlaskaPoppy stepped out of the small boat that had taken her from the Alaskan airport to Blithe. The air was crisper here, with more of a kick. Blithe was a small island community. With the Pacific Ocean on one side and the Bristol Bay on the other, Poppy found herself getting excited for the first time in years.
The wild frontier would do her some good, as would the seclusion the island of less than fifteen thousand would provide. She had done enough research on the town when she decided to move there that she could have been the official spokeswoman for the place.
A small visitor/ranger station greeted all newcomers, which happened to be all of ten. Apparently, Blithe wasn’t a popular tourist attraction, especially during the winter months.
Poppy made her way past the station to where several vehicles were parked. All of them were SUVs, but she surmised one had to have four-wheel drive when living in Alaska. The other passengers from the boat moved in front of her, temporarily blocking her view.
When the sea of people parted, she felt herself smile. It felt strange doing the act, since it had been so long, but seeing Blake, his smile warm and familiar, Poppy couldn’t help her reaction.