Finally walking out of the door, everything seems like a dream. I don't remember the bus ride, the walk down the block, heck, I don't even remember walking in the door of the clinic, undressing, or laying down on this cold table. But now here I am, laying here, all alone while some stranger puts a woman's egg and a man's sperm inside of me, so I can give them a gift. I know I should feel... I don't know what I should feel, but all I can feel is sad and lonely. There is no one here with me and I know I told my sister not to come, but it doesn’t stop the feeling, nonetheless.
After what feels like hours, the doctor finally comes into the room. “Miss Baldwin, are you sure you want to go through with this?” Well, shoot. Why did he have to ask me that? My head is telling me to yell ‘no’ get myself off this table and run for the door. I am even poised to do so, but then my heart intervenes and suddenly, I feel like somehow, I need to do this. Like I am going to change my own life. I know it doesn’t make sense, but a calm feeling comes over and I simply answer.
“Yes. I am ready.” Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and feel.
“Now, we are going to insert the sperm directly into the uterus and then we wait.” I thought…
“Weren't you supposed to put it in an egg and then put it inside of me?” I guess it is possible I misunderstood the contract and what she said. My momma always said I miss everything because my head is always in the clouds.
“Umm...yes...well, I figured this would be a less invasive procedure for someone as young as you. The normal way is painful and involved. You would have to be put to sleep, twice, and it would take place over four weeks. I figured instead of all of that, you would want to get this over with. So, instead of in vitro, I decided it was best to perform an IUI.” My gut is telling me something is off.
“I’m sorry, a what?”
“An intrauterine insemination.” That clears it all up. I think sarcastically. I still feel like I am missing a piece of the puzzle, but I am here and might as well finish what I started. I mean what could go wrong?
Ouch. Crap. He said this way was less painful. I hate to see how painful the other way is. This is definitely more than uncomfortable. Although in truth, it could simply be that I have never had anything up there before. Oh my God! My heart begins to beat as panic sets in. Will this mean I am not a virgin. I mean I am more than sure that part of the pain I just felt is her splitting my hymen. Now the tears are coming. I have always dreamed of my husband, busting through that when he finally makes me his. Of course, when I think of that, I think of my mystery man. “Uhh, I have a question,” I say to her hoping I don’t sound too dumb. “Did... well is my..'' Dang it, Kalera, just get the words out. I am making an adult decision and I need to start acting like one. “Did you break through my virginity?”
“There is more than a possibility that I did. But it does not mean you are not a virgin, my dear.” His voice is soft and soothing. I guess he is right. I didn’t have sex so I guess it doesn’t matter. This takes a bit longer and then I moved to the recovery room. He said he doesn't want me to move for the next hour or so and then I am free to go. My head goes round and round as I try to pass the hour. “You are all set, my dear. No lifting nothing heavy, taking blood thinners, or pain medicine other than Tylenol for the next day or so, and then you can resume regular activity. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Though I doubt you will need to,” he mumbles that last part. See, something is off. Grabbing my clothes, I begin to get dressed putting on my pants, when the door opens. I assume it is the nurse but it is totally not the nurse.
“Jesus,” my mystery man says, rubbing his hands down his face. I feel like an ice sculpture right now. I am literally frozen in place. What the heck is he doing here? My eyes blink over and over not sure what to do when I realize I have not finished getting dressed. Panicking, I make to put my shirt on when he stops me. “Don’t, sweet girl. Let me look at you. I need to remember this moment. Shit. Your fucking tits look like peaches. Nipples so pinks and ripe. Are they going to taste sweet when I lick them?” he growls walking toward me slowly. Every inch of my body is aflame with the dirty things he just said to me. The closer he gets the more I need. Suddenly, he is standing in front of me and I no longer have the desire to get dressed. I have never had this effect on a man before. I watch as he swallows, his eyes glassy, and dangerous and they pull me in. I can hear the rumble in his chest like he is waging a war within himself. When he licks his lips, a moan leaves me before I can stop it. “Your pussy wet, sweet girl?” I shake my head, not sure if I should tell him the truth. “Don’t lie to me, Peach. I can smell it. So sweet and innocent, filled with my jizz.” Is he saying…? “No way you are leaving this room without giving me a taste.” I am about to ask him what he meant by the comment of being filled with him when his mouth surrounds my nipples and I almost pass out. The feeling is more than intense.