One
Marilyn
“Alright Marilyn. Everything looks great. The cancer is still in remission. Your blood pressure is back to normal, your color is coming back, and I can see you have put back on some weight. How do you feel?”
“I feel great. I mean, I am still a bit weak at times, and my head is sensitive to the wind, but I am feeling better than I have in a year. I can feel the prickles in my scalp from my hair growing back. I am not vomiting anymore either. So, all in all, I would say I am doing great.” She chuckles at me. I hear the snicker of Lars behind me and immediately my body goes on alert. Not surprising considering even when I had no feeling in any part of my body while I had been undergoing chemo, other than pain, I was most certainly aware of him. In one way or another.
“I can attest, Dr. Carla, that Marilyn has been doing very well. She has gained five pounds since her last treatment and I watched her put a cheeseburger in her mouth a couple of days ago and it didn’t come back up.” he winks at me as he finishes his sentence. I gasp, not sure what I am supposed to say at this moment. Lucky for me, Dr. Carla takes this moment to end the conversation.
“Well that is indeed good news. With that bit of information, I am going to officially remove Lars from your case. You are in remission my love and no longer need a personal nurse. I expect to see you back here in three months. Of course, should something come up, please don’t hesitate. I am so happy for you. Live. Marilyn. Travel. See the world. You have just faced death and come out on the other side. Take chances. Not many get this chance.” With those words, she walks away, leaving me to ruminate over her advice. I sit in that chair, for a few minutes, thinking of all the things I want to do now that I can. Places I want to go, dreams I thought were over. Suddenly, everything around me feels light and filled with hope. I take a deep breath. As I am about to stand, I hear the voice that has been my constant source of comfort over the past year.
“You decide yet?” he asks in a rather husky tone. I turn and stumble back a bit as he is standing right in my face, looking down at me like I am the steak he has been craving. My skin begins to itch as the barely there hairs on the back of my neck, stand up.
“Decide what?” I whisper. My voice is not working apparently.
“Have you decided to live and take chances? I saw you thinking after what the doc said. Figured I would give you a second to decide.” Oh my. I can’t take his attention so closely. It’s making me want… everything.
“As a matter of fact, I have. I-I never thought I would have the chance. But now, I won’t deny myself the opportunity for happiness. No matter how it presents itself.” I say this looking him in the eye, trying to be brave. I know after this I won’t see him again and that hurts more than anything.
“So happy to hear that. That means you will let me pick you up tonight for dinner. How does seven sound?”
Blank. My head is blank. I mean literally, there is nothing there. Did he just ask me out? Maybe it’s not a date. Perhaps he does this for all of the patients he discharges. Ok. Calm down Marilyn. This is normal. Not a date.
“Yes. It is a date baby. Very much so.” he whispers, his mouth so close to mine. “And not for one moment, is this optional or does this end any other way then with you being my woman and knowing it. Since as far as I am concerned, you have been mine since I saw you come in for your first visit.” His head comes down towards mine and our mouths touch for the barest of moments. Sparks that have nothing to do with pain fly through my body for the briefest seconds. He pulls back, his hand caressing my face. “Mmm ...peppermint. Just like I suspected.” he licks his lips and steps back. “I will see you at seven Marilyn.”
With that he walks away and with him, he takes my common sense.
Two
Lars
A year. I have been waiting for her to be discharged for a year so I can finally make her my wife. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great year. Yes. She was sick, in pain and one pneumonia outbreak from death. That is where I came in. My sole job as her personal nurse for the duration of her journey was to get her everything she needs. Make sure she had her medication, stuck with the diet prepared by her doctors, hold her hand when she got sick and above all else, be there for her during chemo.