She didn't want to cry anymore. She wasn't even certain she could. All day long, all night, all she could do was think of Andy, miss him, pray he'd died quickly, without pain. Now she was terrified of losing his child, of not having a way to take care of herself or the baby. She had no one to help her. She was completely and utterly alone in the world.
"What are they saying is wrong?"
His voice was calm and the sound of it steadied her. His hands moved through her hair with the tug of the brush and somehow even that motion soothed her. She took a gulp of air and found she could think better with him close to her.
"I have some internal injuries and they think my body won't hold the baby as it grows. I'll have to be on complete bed rest by my fourth month."
The brush stroked through her hair a few more times before he put it down and divided her hair into three strands. "We can get a second opinion, Emma. It's not hard to fly someone in. If he agrees, then you'll just do whatever it takes."
"How?" She turned to look at him over her shoulder. "I don't have Andy to help me. They operated on my leg; I can't walk, I can't work. I don't have a clue what to do." She detested sounding so pathetic.
He tugged on her hair until she turned back away from him, her shoulders sagging. "We'll do just what we're doing now. Help each other. I've got money and a big house if you need it."
She stiffened. "I don't need a handout." She did, though. That was what was so humiliating. She was practically begging for a stranger to settle her life. She knew she was doing it, but she couldn't stop herself, not with this man. Who was he? Why did he feel so familiar and strong?
She covered her face with one hand. He'd suffered a loss as well. Shaina. The name tasted bitter in her mouth. Shaina and her drunken friend had killed Andy. Strange, she could see pain in Jake's eyes sometimes but never feel it, while it coursed through her veins along with grief, carrying her on a tide of sorrow so strong she was afraid she could never feel happiness again.
"You know there will be a settlement," Jake said. "You'll have plenty of money. I can get my lawyers to continue working on it for you. Once you have that, you won't have to worry about money for a while. There should be plenty to take care of you and the baby."
"Blood money. Money can't replace Andrew." She jerked forward, away from the comfort of his touch.
His hands tightened in her hair, tugging at her scalp, and she gave a little squeak.
"Settle down. I'm not the one you're mad at," Jake pointed out. "And whatever the reason, the money will help with the baby. And you're going to need it, so if you don't mind, I'll just take care of that little detail for you until you can come to terms with it."
"Whatever."
Her voice was low, but triumph shot through Jake at her acceptance of his help. He wanted to take away her sorrow, yet a part of him was amazed and gratified that she could actually feel sorrow. He had been upset over his great-grandfather's death, but not half as upset as she was over her husband's. It fascinated him that she was capable of loving someone so deeply that her life was shattered when he was gone. Try as he might, Jake could not feel sorrow over Shaina's death.
He found himself not liking that side of him, that cold, unemotional part of him that would take advantage of a woman as genuine as Emma. From the little information he'd gleaned from the hospital staff and the apartment, he'd discovered Emma was an independent woman with strong opinions and a sense of fun. But right now she seemed vulnerable and fragile, weighed down by grief and loss. The harsh realities of his world had long ago taught him no one could be so genuine, but though he kept thinking he would find a way to trip her up, he had not been able to. If she was an actress, she deserved an Oscar.
Beneath his hands he felt her stiffen, go on alert, turning her head toward the door.
"The baby's crying," she said. "Can you bring him in here?"
Jake frowned. He had the ability to hear and sort sounds due to his "other," and he instantly recognized the cry of his son. He was leopard, his brain automatically recording sounds and conversations, sorting through data and registering facts around him, yet Emma had heard the cry and instinctively turned toward it before it had registered with him.
His chest suddenly felt heavy, and in his ears, his blood thundered. His mother never once had responded to his cries, not when he'd been an infant, and certainly not when he'd been a toddler. This woman, this stranger, had more regard for his infant son than Jake did. He felt shame and guilt and confusion--something that happened a lot in her presence.
"If that's what you want," he murmured, sliding off the bed, away from her warmth.
"Yes, please."
How could anyone who suffered such losses, who was reeling from so many blows, respond to the son of the woman who had caused the accident? Jake couldn't make sense of her. In some ways she scared him--something very hard to do. Jake wasn't afraid of pain or much of anything, really, but Emma shook him up in places he hadn't known existed. He didn't trust anyone, least of all anyone he didn't understand.
As he gingerly carried the boy back to Emma's room, he tried to figure out what possible angle she could have other than genuine warmth. He had a motive for bringing the child to her. He wanted her in his life, loving him and the boy. If he could use her interest in the infant to trap her into coming home with him, he would do it. But what was her interest? Certainly not in him as a male. Hell, she didn't even seem to notice he was a man. Not his money. Nothing. He simply didn't interest her.
When he pushed open her door, her gaze jumped to his face and he revised his opinion. There was something between them--strength, power. He mesmerized her. She was vulnerable and needed someone stronger to take over until she could face her life without Andrew. She saw the strength and power of his leopard, the steel in Jake, and because she needed those qualities, he drew her to him, and that was a start.
Her gaze drifted down to the baby he was holding awkwardly, out and away from his body. He flashed a small, baffled grin at her. "He needs changing. I tried to get the nurses to do it, but they said I needed the practice. It's scary stuff holding a wiggling baby in the palm of my hand."
"That's not the right way to hold him, Jake," she counseled gently. "You want to keep his body close up against yours so he feels safe."
"He's wet." Jake made a face.
"He's the baby, not you. Put him on the bed so you can change him."
Jake couldn't get the diaper on to save his life. He put the boy down on the bed beside Emma as he worked, all thumbs, to get the diaper to stay on. The moment he lifted the infant, the covering would slip off and fall to the bed. The baby wailed in protest, little arms flailing about in the air while Jake made a production of raking his hands through his hair and breathing hard.
"You aren't doing it right." Emma's voice was tinged with amusement.
Jake felt triumph burst through him, but he kept an agitated, helpless frown on his face. "I can see that," he admitted, gritting his teeth. "There seems to be some secret eluding me." He kept one hand on the baby's stomach to prevent him from falling off the edge of the bed and glanced at Emma.
The louder the baby cried and the more he squirmed, the more color seemed to come into her pale face. Jake could see she was getting distressed watching his apparent ineptness.
She leaned toward the baby. "Let me."
Jake allowed himself to sink down onto the bed beside her. "I don't know if you should be moving around too much."
"It's just my leg," Emma said. She winced as she tried to shift her injured limb beneath the blankets, stretching out to sit up straighter.
Jake sighed. "Here. You take the wet boy and I'll move your leg for you."
He practically dumped the baby into her arms, sagging diaper and all, before reaching under the covers and half lifting her to pull her into a more comfortable position. "How's that?"
Emma nodded without answering Jake, looking down instead into the baby's face. He looked like his father. His eyes. Not t
he normal fuzzy blue color of most newborn's but rather serious golden eyes that didn't smile. That was what bothered her about Jake. His voice was expressive, and sometimes his mouth smiled or frowned, but there was no emotion in his eyes. And there was little in his son's eyes. As if the boy already had suffered too much pain and sorrow. She knew about that and didn't want the infant to start out his life in sadness.
"It's all right, little one," she murmured softly. "No one's ever going to hurt you."