Eloisa shook her head, pressed her lips together and clenched her fists, as if that were the only way she could keep her opinions to herself.
“This brings us to another matter that could very well affect every shadow rider, not just those of us in this room,” Stefano went on. “When we were first learning to go into the shadows, all of us suffered headaches and nosebleeds. Some severe, and some less so. The symptoms lessened as we grew accustomed to being in the shadows, and we could stay in for longer periods of time. Eventually, even the longer, faster shadows rarely bothered us.”
Taviano frowned, watching his older brother carefully. Stefano was definitely worried. He saw his older brother’s gaze flick to Severino. His cousin knew whatever it was that Stefano did and he was equally worried.
“Eloisa has been having severe headaches and nosebleeds for several years. Unbeknownst to us, when we were children, she was sent out over and over even days after giving birth because, according to her parents—the heads of the family and riders at that time—she didn’t need the rest and there were no other riders available to go. The headaches and bleeding became worse and more severe. She began experiencing blackouts. Or at least times when she couldn’t stop herself from acting in ways that she might not normally behave.”
There was sudden silence in the room. Taviano felt his heart thud hard in his chest. He didn’t want to look at his mother, but he couldn’t help it. Eloisa had her head down, not looking at anyone in the room. She was a proud woman, and he couldn’t imagine how she felt with all of them staring at her, suddenly aware of very private medical information. He had no idea how Stefano had gotten her to agree to allow him to share that data with everyone.
“Over the last few years, the headaches and bleeds have grown worse. Even after she stopped officially riding in rotations, she was still using the shadows to move from one place to another. Those bleeds seemed to compound, and the headaches were so severe she would sometimes go blind. When she confessed this to me, I asked that she go to the Hendrick Center and have Dr. Elliot do an MRI on her brain to look for trauma. We have to know if going into the shadows can cause the rider brain damage.”
Giovanni reached out to touch his mother’s shoulder, a rare gesture for any of them. “Eloisa,” he said softly. “You could have shared this with me.”
She shook her head, but to Taviano’s astonishment, she didn’t pull away from Giovanni as she normally would have. She didn’t like sympathy or a show of compassion from anyone ever, not even when her husband died. He thought perhaps it was because Sasha’s brother had such severe brain injuries.
“Unfortunately, Eloisa’s scan did show she is suffering from fairly severe brain injuries,” Stefano announced in that same matter-of-fact voice that he used as if speaking about the weather.
Taviano closed his eyes and pushed his head back against the couch. He had allowed Nicoletta over and over into the shadows. She had headaches. She had nosebleeds. He had thought them a natural part of learning. “Tesoro,” he whispered. Aching inside.
“Don’t, Taviano,” Nicoletta said immediately.
“I know that sounds bad for all of us, but before we all panic, we need more information. Eloisa came forward, and she has ideas that I think will help us to better figure this situation out and let us know what to do and where we can go from here. This is a good time for us to take a step back from our work, since law enforcement may suddenly be taking a hard look our way once again,” Stefano continued. “Eloisa thought this might be a great time to organize a worldwide fund-raiser for traumatic brain injuries. The Ferraros could lead the fund-raiser by getting scans of our brains to use for comparison with those that have been injured in accidents. At least, that will be the excuse we use. Every member of the Ferraro family will participate. Our New York cousins as well as our Los Angeles cousins. I’ll talk to the council and they’ll have the members of the other families get scans as well.”
Stefano got to his feet and poured himself a glass of sparkling water, looking around the room to see if anyone else wanted their glass filled. No one took him up on the offer. Taviano thought they were all too stunned to move or really think. He knew he was. The idea that doing what they’d been born to do was harming them seemed ludicrous.
“I don’t think anyone should panic yet,” Stefano said, leaning one hip against the bar. “I haven’t had a headache in years, nor have I gotten a nosebleed. I think, if I were having a problem, I would have had signs. Nevertheless, I will be going in to get an MRI immediately. I think it’s necessary for all of us to do so. In fact, for my family it will be considered mandatory, or there will be no putting you into the roster. Anyone wanting to be pulled from the roster, of course, just make that request and it’s done. Having said that, if you do get a headache or a nosebleed, no matter how minor, I want to know about it.”