“So, how’s Steve?” Iona asked.
Roux knew her well enough to read her true question: How are you going to keep from seeing Steve on tour? Roux hadn’t shared her plan to see Steve as Katie. She doubted that Iona would think it a good idea. But the days she’d been separated from him had been pure hell, and she knew she wasn’t strong enough to keep him at a distance when thousands of miles were no longer between them.
“Excited about the tour, I think,” she said, fiddling with her diamond bracelet. She had never realized how often she’d used the bullet on her bracelet for comfort until she’d loaned it to Steve.
Iona grinned. “I think he’s more excited to see you. I’ve never known any man to send a woman two or three gifts a day.”
Roux’s face flushed with heat. He had been a bit over the top with the gifting. Few of the items he’d sent had been expensive—oranges after she mentioned she liked them, an electric fan for her keyboard when she’d said the stage lights were hot, a CD with a song that reminded him of her, a vibrator when she whispered she missed having him in her bed. Her protests against the extravagance had gone ignored, so she’d started to anticipate what he’d send next—and especially those short, written sentiments that accompanied every gift—rather than feel guilty for accepting his generosity. She only wished she could afford to reciprocate. He assured her that it was better to give than to receive, but damn, how many blow jobs did she owe him now? Her jaw ached just thinking about it, but she planned to make him a very, very happy man when she saw him tomorrow. He had invited her to join Exodus End on their private jet, but she couldn’t abandon her band on their first transatlantic flight. Besides, Logan’s girlfriend would be on that plane, and Roux figured it was best to not spend hours upon hours in her company. Toni was a smart woman. She’d eventually figure out that Katie and Roux were the same person, and though Steve trusted Toni with their secret, Roux didn’t. It would also be rather difficult to convince Iona that she’d be keeping her distance from him if she hopped on his jet the first day.
“He’s very good to me,” Roux said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“It’s going to be tough to stay away from him while you’re on tour.”
Roux knew that was Iona’s passive-aggressive way of reminding her she wasn’t supposed to be in contact with Steve.
“Yeah,” she said vaguely, glad the flight attendant had started the safety demonstration as the plane backed out of the gate. She could pretend to concentrate on how to survive a crash and avoid inevitable questions from their leader. Iona wasn’t even the oldest—Lily was—but she definitely had the right personality to head the band.
“Three months isn’t so long.” Iona squeezed Roux’s hand, which rested on the armrest between them. “And you’ll be so busy, the time will fly by.”
“Mmm hmm.” Roux’s stomach was starting to twist into knots. She’d never kept a secret from one of her sisters. She didn’t like the way it felt. But she liked the feeling of not seeing Steve even less. “I wish we could have talked Mama into coming to see a show.” Perhaps changing the subject would help Roux feel a tad less guilty.
“Maybe when we get hugely famous we can afford to invite all the younger girls along as well. She’d have to say yes then.”
Roux could have asked Steve to foot the bill for transatlantic flights for eight more members of her family, but even though she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to bring her that joy, she could never ask it of him. Baroquen would make it. Probably not as quickly as Iona envisioned, but Roux had faith that with hard work and persistence, they’d get to where they wanted to be. She knew that every one of them wanted the band to be a success, but their reasons were entirely different. Iona wanted to be a superstar, a household name, and to never have to worry about money again. Lily wanted everyone she loved to be proud of her, so she’d already gotten that wish whether she realized it or not. Sage’s main goal was and always had been to support Azura, who just wanted to have as much fun as possible, and who could possibly have more fun than a young, beautiful, and famous rock star? Roux struggled to identify her own goal. Did she really care about fame and fortune? She loved playing the keyboard and sharing Baroquen’s music with people—touching their lives in some small way and bringing them moments of joy. She supposed her goal was to make everyone happy. Deep down, she knew that wasn’t possible, but she could bring smiles to as many faces as possible, and she supposed the more well-known Baroquen became, the more she could fulfill that wish. More fans equaled more people made happy by their music. So yes, she did want to become famous, but not for the same reason as Iona or her sisters.
Iona spent most of the flight writing lists and ideas in her ever-present notebook. Roux figured it must be hard to be that ambitious. She didn’t think Iona’s mind was ever quiet. Part of her drive came from an endless tap of internal motivation, but she’d become even more obsessed with success after she’d started dating Kyle. He’d given Iona the self-confidence she’d needed to go after her dreams, and she hadn’t slowed down since. Roux was surprised that Kyle had been so scarce since Baroquen had signed with their new label. She hoped it didn’t mean that Iona and Kyle’s relationship was faltering.
“How are things with Kyle?” Roux asked.
Iona dropped her pen in her open notebook and scowled.
“That good, huh?”
“He’s so stubborn. I asked him to give me these three months to focus on my career, and he acts like I never want to see him again. Men!”
“He loves you. I’m sure the thought of being without you for that long is devastating.”
“It’s not devastating when he’s the one too busy working to take a weekend off.”
“Do you really want him to back off for three entire months?”
“It would make things a hell of a lot easier.” She picked up her pen, her scowl shifting into a lopsided grin. “But no, I don’t really want him to back off. I love that he’s stubborn. I hope that he shows up and demands to see me. I’m crazy that way.”
Roux giggled. “I sure hope he’s a mind reader.”
“Nope. He’s a man.” She sighed loudly. “He’ll think I meant what I said. Which means if I want to see him, I’m going to have to swallow my pride and invite him to visit.”
“Pride is highly overrated.”
Iona squeezed her arm affectionately and then picked up her pen to scribble more notes. Roux tried to concentrate on reading a novel but found herself so distracted by thoughts of finally getting to see Steve again that the words didn’t make sense. Her attempts to take a nap were equally fruitless, so she watched an inflight movie, not sure what it was called or what it was about. She’d never been this crazy over a guy before. She wasn’t sure that she liked the feeling. She liked him, no question. It was the can’t-concentrate, the can’t-sleep, and the-can’t-live-without-him
feelings he evoked that she would happily relinquish.
“You’re not going to last five minutes,” Iona muttered as the plane made its final descent into Glasgow to catch their connecting flight to Nottingham. Roux was straining to peer out the window at the dreary overcast day, not looking for landmarks but for Steve. Like she’d recognize him from this altitude. She wasn’t even sure he’d be landing there. Exodus End’s jet would likely land at a different airport and not have a connecting flight at all. But he was closer to her here than when they’d been on opposite sides of the United States.
Oh my God, Roux. Get a fucking grip.
She turned to find Iona smirking.
“I won’t last five minutes at what?” Roux asked.
“Staying away from Aimes.”
That obvious, was she?
“I might as well tell you that I do plan to see him,” Roux said, surprised she’d kept her plans to herself as long as she had.
Iona opened her mouth, but Roux raised a hand to stop her outrush of words.
“Hear me out. He’s promised never to interact with me in anything but a professional manner when I’m in costume, but when I’m not, we’re going to be together. He’s even going to call me Katie.” Iona drew in a breath to again start her scolding, but Roux blurted, “No one knows who I am when I’m not in my makeup! They won’t figure out that I’m part of Baroquen, so they won’t think any of us fucked our way onto the tour.”
“Are you finished?”
Roux lowered her eyes and nodded. A strange mix of anxiety and relief warred within her. She knew Iona would be mad, but facing her wrath would be easier than lying to her.
“You should have said something sooner. We can help you see him,” Iona said. “Protect you both from snooping paparazzi.”
Huh?
She must have looked as perplexed as she felt because Iona chuckled and patted her hand. “It’s obvious that you love him. If you were just fucking him for fun, I’d feel differently, but I would never stand in the way of your happiness, sweetie.”