Chapter Nine
Lindsey gulped down more water as she sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her bladder was already about to burst, but she’d been told the ultrasound would show better results if she had to pee. She crossed her legs and squeezed her thighs together. The results were bound to be exemplary. She definitely had to go, and her case of nerves didn’t help her hold her gallon of water. This would be her first glimpse of her child. What if something was terribly wrong with him?
Joan had accompanied her as promised, but now that Lindsey knew her baby wasn’t going to make the wonderful woman a grandmother, she couldn’t help but feel guilty for wasting Joan’s time. She needed to suck it up and get her confession over with. She owed Joan the truth even if it resulted in another mother figure discarding her.
Joan showed her a page in the catalogue she was flipping through. “Isn’t this the most darling crib set?” she asked.
The bright comforter had cute and colorful owls lined up on rows of branches, and yes, it was completely adorable. “I love it!” But yikes, the list price was frightening. Maybe she could find something similar at a thrift store. Or take up sewing.
“Are you going to find out the gender today?” Joan asked, eyeing the pink comforter on the next page. “Or are you going to wait and be surprised?”
“I haven’t decided.” Lindsey licked her lips. “Joan, there’s something I need to tell you.”
A medical technician in purple scrubs came out into the waiting room. “Lindsey Parker?” She searched faces for any takers.
Joan was on her feet before Lindsey could even uncross her legs. Would the news be worse for Joan if she sat through the ultrasound before Lindsey told her the baby wasn’t Owen’s? Probably, but Lindsey wasn’t sure she could find the heart to tell her. Joan looked absolutely elated to be there.
“Joan?” Lindsey said as the two of them followed the technician through a door that led to the procedure rooms. “How would you feel if the baby ends up not being Owen’s?”
Coward. Coward. Coward. Just tell her. You know it isn’t his.
Joan grabbed her hand and squeezed. “You’ll still let me smoother your little one with love, won’t you?”
Lindsey blinked back the mistiness that suddenly clouded her vision and nodded. “It would make me so happy if you would do that.” Every baby needed a dotting grandparent or twelve.
Joan squeezed her hand again. “Owen already told me the news.”
“He did?” Lindsey clung to Joan’s fingers, afraid to let her go. “Then why are you here?” Out of obligation? Knowing what she did about Joan, Lindsey bet the woman probably never backed out of a promise.
“Because I can’t wait until that baby’s born to get my first glimpse,” Joan said. “Do you still think it’s a boy?”
Lindsey smiled and nodded, a flood of relief washing over her. In her heart, she was sure she would have a son, but then she’d also been sure that Owen was the baby’s father.
God, why couldn’t this baby be Owen’s? Everything would have worked out perfectly in that case. Maybe Owen wouldn’t have ever loved her, but his family accepted her, and they wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. She couldn’t say the same about her own family. Her mother had told her not to bother calling if she needed anything. Her parents wanted nothing to do with an illegitimate grandchild. It was like their values had arrived via a time machine from 1820.
“I love my boys more than anything,” Joan said, “but I’m hoping for a girl to dote upon. James and I tried for a girl after Owen was born, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
“A girl would be wonderful too,” Lindsey said. Either way, she’d be happy. She wanted a healthy baby. Gender didn’t matter. She just had the feeling she was carrying a boy.
“Maybe Chad and Josie will get busy and make me another baby to love soon.”
Lindsey’s smile faltered. Joan still didn’t know that Josie had dumped Chad? It wasn’t Lindsey’s place to say anything, and she definitely couldn’t confide in the woman that her feelings for Chad were growing. If Joan didn’t already think Lindsey was a tramp over the baby-daddy mystery, discovering she’d slept with Chad when he was supposedly engaged to Josie would cement a negative opinion. She wasn’t sure Joan could forgive her for jumping Chad’s bones at his first sign of interest.
“Maybe,” Lindsey said as she entered the room indicated by the technician.
“I assume he’s still capable of fathering children,” Joan added as she followed Lindsey. “It’s an awkward question to ask your son.”
Lindsey flushed. He was definitely capable of the act. She couldn’t be sure that he could give Joan more grandbabies, though.
“Gown opening to the front, please,” the technician told Lindsey.
“Do I need to strip down completely?” Lindsey worried that she wouldn’t be able to hold her urine if she moved around too much.
“Whatever you need to remove to give full access to your belly.”
“Would you like me to step out?” Joan asked.
“It’s fine,” Lindsey said. “I’m not modest. I just have to pee really, really bad and don’t think I can uncross my legs long enough to get my pants down.”
Joan laughed. “A mother’s sacrifices begin early.”
A while later, both Lindsey and Joan were watching the screen for that first glimpse of the baby. Lindsey was very late in her pregnancy for a first ultrasound and far enough along that the baby would be fully developed.
“There you are, little one,” the technician said as she scraped the ultrasound wand over Lindsey’s gel-slickened belly.
Lindsey’s breath caught as a face and tiny fist came into view.
“These 3-D machines are amazing,” Joan said. “Just look at that face. He definitely has your nose, Lindsey.”
“My nose?” Lindsey squeaked, committing that perfect face to memory.
The technician took measurements and pointed out body structures on the screen.
“Healthy?” Lindsey asked, still unable to take a full breath. That was all she needed to hear.
“Perfectly so and thriving. Your predicted due date is right on target. Would you like to know the sex?”
Lindsey was nodding before she could think the decision through. A few more swipes of the wand, and a tiny rear end was displayed. “I don’t see any extra appendages.” The technician grinned and winked.
“It’s a girl?” Joan said on a loud gasp.
“Definitely a girl,” the tech verified.
“Oh God, she’s so beautiful,” Lindsey said, not sure why she was crying. Maybe because that squirmy creature that lived inside her now had a face. Her baby felt like a real, separate-from-Lindsey person for the first time.
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nbsp; Joan squeezed her hand, tears in her own eyes. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
Lindsey wondered if the baby’s father—Jacob or Adam—would feel the same way. Maybe she could make a life without him ever knowing the baby was his. She was starting to feel like she might be able to handle motherhood on her own. Well, not completely on her own. She knew the support of the Mitchell family was the only thing giving her this newfound confidence. She smiled as Joan cooed at the tiny face displayed on the ultrasound screen, her heart aching from missing her real mom. She tried not to think of Mom much or how disappointed she was in her daughter of loose morals.
When Lindsey arrived back home—temporary home, she reminded herself—Chad and Owen weren’t there, but Caitlyn was, and so was Kellen’s girlfriend, Dawn. Rather than giving her the anxious and judgmental stares she was used to receiving from all of Sole Regret’s significant others, they greeted her.
“Do you want to help us plan an engagement party?” Caitlyn asked.
Lindsey’s stomach lurched. “Owen asked you to marry him?” she squeaked.
Caitlyn gasped. “Not for me. For Gabe and Melanie.”
“And Adam and Madison too,” Dawn added.
“Oh.” Lindsey blew out a relieved breath. She knew she shouldn’t be glad that Owen hadn’t popped the question, but she couldn’t help it. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she asked. “Aren’t the guys at odds right now?”
“That’s why this is a good idea,” Caitlyn said. “How can they ever reconcile if they’re never around each other?”
“It might work,” Lindsey said. She wanted the band to get back together more than anything.
“I know if Owen sees Kellen, they’ll have to make amends,” Caitlyn said to Dawn.
“God, I hope so,” Dawn said. “Kellen’s so moody right now.”
“Are you sure he’s not always like that?” Caitlyn asked.
“This is advanced moodiness we’re talking about.”