Xavier made a low sound in his throat, cupped the back of my head and pulled me in for a languid kiss. Tasting myself on his lips was strangely erotic.
“I had to shut you up,” he murmured after he drew back a few inches.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your mind was working on overdrive. I could see it from that pinched expression you always get. Don’t overthink this, Evie.”
“I don’t get a pinched look,” I said indignantly.
Xavier flashed me the grin that melted every pair of panties in a radius of at least one mile. “You do, and it’s never a good thing. Just enjoy the moment.”
“You know me too well,” I said with a sigh. “It’s a bit unsettling.”
He regarded me. “It is.”
I bit my lip, surprised by the serious note in Xavier’s voice. He was still hard against my thigh, and yet he didn’t make a move. He must have known that I would have abolished that no-sex rule in a heartbeat if he’d tried. Yet he didn’t. “Why did you agree to give this a try?” I whispered.
“I told you: because I don’t want to lose you.”
“As an assistant?”
Xavier nodded, then cupped my cheek. “As an assistant, as my friend, as the woman who gets me hard without even trying. I don’t want to lose your snarky comments when we watch movies, or that eye roll you give me when I do something that annoys you. You don’t take my bullshit. You don’t blow candy up my ass. You stand up to me, but you are never mean or petty about it. You don’t play games. You are fucking amazing.”
I swallowed. “This isn’t your attempt to get me to sleep with you again.”
Xavier smiled cockily. “Evie, you and I both know you changed your mind about the no-sex rule the moment I started eating you out.”
Maybe he thought I’d contradict him, but Xavier had been honest, had said words I’d never thought possible, and I would be honest as well. “You’re right,” I admitted softly.
Xavier’s expression turned intent. I leaned toward him and after a deep breath, I whispered, “I don’t care about the no-sex rule anymore. I’ve already lost my heart to you, and sex won’t change it. I can’t resist your charms, and you know it. I want you.”
Xavier buried his face in my neck, his breath hot against my skin. “Fuck, Evie, why are you doing this to me?” he rasped. “Don’t leave it up to me to do the honorable thing. I’ve never done anything honorable in my life.”
It wasn’t true. He only never made honorable acts public. He was cocky about everything, showed off his women and wealth for everyone to see, but his good deeds, those he kept to himself. He’d saved his grandparents’ farm, played with those kids in the women’s shelter, and gave money to good causes that meant a lot to him, especially facilities that fought against domestic violence. “I don’t want you to do the honorable thing now.”
He rolled onto his back, closing his eyes as if in pain. “I promised you I would respect your no-sex rule,” he said regretfully. “And I fucking will, even if it kills me.”
I smiled, despite my body’s cry of protest.
“See, that look tells me you wanted me to do the honorable thing after all,” he murmured, watching me through half-closed eyes.
I kissed him. Then I sat up, and, banishing my nerves, I scooted down until I was on eye level with the tent in Xavier’s boxers.
“Evie,” he said in a low voice.
“Shh,” I said. “I need to remember what the instructions said.”
Xavier chuckled. “What?”
I peered up at him. “I read up on this. There are very helpful articles on the internet.”
He smiled but it was tense with desire. “I’d love to read those articles.”
“I didn’t know you’d want to learn how to give a blow job.” I reached for his waistband and dragged down his briefs, turning Xavier’s undoubtedly cocky reply into a groan as his erection bounced free.
I shook my head. “You are so freaking big, it’s ridiculous.”
The look on his face set fireworks off in my body. I curled my fingers around his base, then lowered my head. Xavier grew even tighter under my touch. I stopped inches from his tip, my gaze going to his face.
He watched me eagerly. I had to stifle a smile. It was hard to believe that I did this to him, to Xavier.
“I won’t be any good at this,” I said quietly. “Nowhere near as good as the women you’ve been with.” I felt like I needed to make this clear lest his expectations rose too high.
Xavier shook his head and touched my cheek before slowly sliding his fingers into my hair. “I don’t give a fuck about any of them, but I do about you, Evie.”
I returned my gaze to his erection before I got emotional and closed my lips around his tip. Xavier released a low groan. I took my time exploring him until I figured out what made Xavier moan. Surprisingly I found myself enjoying this more than I’d ever thought possible, and not only because it made me feel desirable and in control. Soon he was panting and making small upwards thrusts into my mouth.
“Evie, you need to pull back if you don’t want to swallow,” Xavier groaned as he rocked his hips upwards with more force.
My brows pulled together in consideration. I hadn’t made up my mind yet if it was something I wanted. Xavier took the choice off my hands and pulled me back. Seconds later he released on his stomach, shuddering and groaning.
I could feel a grin tugging at my mouth, and Xavier shook his head with a low curse. He gripped my arm and pulled me against his side, claiming my mouth. “You’re good at everything you do, aren’t you, Little Miss Perfect.”
I was many things, but little or perfect definitely weren’t among them. “I’m sure there’s still room for improvement. Any tips?”
Xavier chuckled against my mouth, and the look in his eyes was like a hot chocolate after a day in the cold. “The tip is always a good tip.”
I shoved him lightly. “The truth. I can only improve with honest criticism.”
Xavier cleaned his stomach with a tissue before he pulled me half on top of him. His eyes moved down to my breasts that were pushed up against his firm chest then they returned to my face. “This isn’t school, Evie. You don’t have to prove anything. Just be yourself.”
“Am I not always?”
He regarded me quietly for a moment. “Yeah. You are. Nothing fake with you.”
I swallowed, deciding it was time to lighten the mood. “Not even my breasts.”
Of course, it had the desired effect. My breasts were always a good icebreaker with Xavier. His eyes took their time taking in the way my breasts were pushed up, and he grinned. “Your breasts are perfection.”
I wondered what he thought of the rest of my body. Instead of asking I rolled my eyes at him. His expression lit up, and he leaned forward and kissed me. Just kissing. Slow and gentle. There was no urgency in the kiss, no underlying tension. We just kissed, our mouths lightly brushing, tongues exploring, for a long time.
Xavier’s fingers lightly stroked my scalp and I traced my fingertips through his soft chest hair. Eventually, Xavier extinguished the lights, and I drifted off to sleep with my cheek against his chest.
I woke before sunrise, still pressed up against Xavier. It felt like perfection, but how often did perfection really last?
Suddenly I was worried about waking beside him in the morning, about having him wake beside me and not want me here. We hadn’t done the deed but we hadn’t exactly done nothing either.
I wanted to be the one to determine the morning after this time. Untangling myself from Xavier, who rolled over with a soft groan but kept sleeping, I slipped out of the bed and fumbled my way toward the bathroom. I picked up my discarded clothes, quickly got dressed and walked downstairs. My phone showed I’d missed five calls from Fiona and about twenty of her messages.
I should have told her I would stay the night somewhere else, but it had never been the plan, and she would have asked questions I didn’t want to answer
yet. Fiona would kill me if she found out I’d returned to Xavier’s bed.
I grabbed my purse, then decided to leave Xavier a note. Problem was I had no clue what to write.
Eventually I settled for:
Thanks for the chips and the beer. It was a perfect date.
I decided against signing. For one, Xavier knew who had written the note, and even my name, and second I wasn’t sure how to end the note. “Love, Evie” was out of the question. If I mentioned the word love around Xavier, he’d be running for the woods.
“Kisses” or “XOXO” might just have the same effect.
I still wasn’t sure how to classify this thing between us. A dating trial run? That option didn’t exist on Facebook.
Checking the calendar, I realized Xavier only had an afternoon workout today, so I’d have enough time to head home, get a couple hours of additional sleep and shower before I had to be back in his apartment to wake him.
Grabbing my purse, I left the note in front of the coffee maker and left.
I entered Fiona and Connor’s house and closed the door silently, not wanting to wake them.
“Where have you been?” came a voice out of the dark.
I cried out, clutching my purse against my chest. “Jesus, Connor, being six foot four and built like a wall, you shouldn’t stalk women in the dark. That might give someone a heart attack one day, or get you thrown into jail.”
The lights in the living room came on, revealing Connor leaning in the doorway, hair all over the place and only in low sweatpants. I wasn’t sure what it was with rugby players and their aversion to walking around fully dressed.
“I promised Fiona to wait for you so she could finally get some sleep.” He took in my rumpled state. I hadn’t bothered straightening my hair and my clothes had seen better days. “You were with Xavier.”
I flushed. “What makes you think that? I could have been with someone else.”
Connor shook his head. “You aren’t the type to move from one guy to the next so quickly.”
I wasn’t sure if I should be annoyed or pleased that he pegged me down as the steady type.
“Don’t tell Fiona,” I whispered.
Connor moved closer, looking worried. “Listen, Evie, you are a grown woman, and perfectly capable of making your own decisions, even if Fiona disagrees, but this one is really fucking bad. I love Xavier like a brother, but he’s not boyfriend material. He doesn’t want to be. He’s content being the asshole child of the press.”
“I’m a grown-up, you said it yourself. I’m perfectly capable of digging my own grave,” I said teasingly, even if his words hit a bit too close to home.
Connor looked doubtful.
“I’m going to sleep a few more hours. I’m pretty tired,” I said. My cheeks heated when Connor grimaced. I quickly rushed upstairs into my room, hoping that Connor would keep his mouth shut. Fiona would kill me if she found out I was giving Xavier another chance. I knew she was worried about me, and my cowardly escape from Xavier’s apartment this morning proved she had reason to be. Connor’s warning replayed in my brain over and over again as I crept under the covers.
Xavier was trying to be a boyfriend…sort of, for me. Wasn’t he? We were giving dating a chance. We hadn’t put a name on exactly what we were yet, but so early on in this trial that was to be expected. He didn’t want to lose me, and I didn’t want to lose him. My heart was already irrevocably lost anyway.
Even the hot chocolate and banana bread I’d had for the sole purpose of their sugary contents calming my nerves didn’t work. I was ridiculously nervous as I arrived in front of Xavier’s door to wake him. How was I supposed to act around him after last night? Kiss him good morning? Or would that presume too much? I stepped inside Xavier’s apartment, half worried about finding him in a compromising situation, worried that he’d changed his mind about the dating thing after last night.
I froze when I spotted Xavier standing close to the window, looking out toward the harbor bridge.
He turned, a cup of cappuccino in one hand, and my note in the other. I cringed inwardly. Maybe that note hadn’t been a good idea. Xavier looked…disappointed…or sad. I wasn’t sure.
“You’re up,” I said dumbly as I made my way toward the kitchen island, where I perched on a stool and set the mail down on the counter.
For a moment, Xavier didn’t do anything; then he walked toward me. My eyes were drawn to the flexing muscles of his stomach as they always were. Xavier was utter male perfection. Why would he ever consider changing his ways for me? For poor chubby Evie?
When he stopped close enough that the scent of fresh espresso and his own manly scent wafted into my nose, I finally looked back up into his face. His frowning face. No smirk or grin or cockiness for once. “I woke to an empty bed and when I came down expecting to find you here, I got this instead.” He held up the crinkled note.
“I’m always good for a surprise. You said it yourself,” I joked half-heartedly, but with the way Xavier’s gray eyes were boring into me, humor was difficult to pull off.
He moved close. “Why did you leave, Evie?”
“I didn’t want to impose on you or overextend my welcome,” I said lightly.
His strong hands came down on my thighs and he kissed me briefly. “You are always welcome, and you know it.”
I regarded him. “After our first night together, it didn’t feel that way.”
“Fuck,” he groaned. He cupped my cheek, his face so close it was becoming increasingly difficult not to end this conversation by kissing him. “I feel like an asshole because of it. I told you I’m sorry. I can’t change what happened but I’m trying to make up for it, and for the record, I don’t want you to leave. I want to wake up beside you.”
I swallowed. “Noted. Next time I’ll stay.”
Xavier grinned. “How about tonight? Let’s have another movie night and this time you’ll stay for breakfast.”
I snorted. “That’s a line most guys crash and burn with, you realize that, right? It’s in the player’s handbook of bad pick-up lines. Didn’t you get the memo?”
Xavier laughed, and my insides began their usual fluttering. “Will you let me crash and burn with my line?”
His lips found mine again, and I allowed myself to enjoy his kiss for a moment longer before I pulled back. “It’s a yes to the date. If I’ll spend the night, that depends on your behavior.”
Though really, it was a bit hypocritical of me to put all the blame on Xavier. I had failed at keeping to my own rule last night, and I had a feeling tonight wouldn’t be much easier.
The wolfish grin. “I’ll be a good boy, Evie.”
I chuckled. “We’ll see.” Maybe Xavier wasn’t the bad boy the press made him out to be, but he definitely wasn’t a good boy. Not that I wanted him to be.
This time I entered Xavier’s apartment without last night’s warning. We had sushi and watched an old James Bond movie with Sean Connery, even if I usually preferred the newer versions. The no-sex ban was firmly in place. We were being good, even if Xavier’s arm around me was distracting, albeit not as much as his hand which cupped my ass the entire time. My fingers kept drawing lazy circles on Xavier’s chest and stomach, but our eyes were firmly focused on the screen until about halfway through the movie, which was when Xavier gave my ass a firm squeeze and my fingers accidentally brushed the bulge in his pants. It all went downhill from there pretty quickly, as far as the ban was concerned, at least.
Two hours into the date, I was sprawled out on my back on the sofa, my legs draped over Xavier’s broad shoulders and his face wedged between my thighs as he did unspeakable things with his tongue and mouth. I clutched the headrest with one hand as my other held Xavier’s head in place. Not that he needed any encouragement. He was eating me like a starving man would a plate of burritos.
“You taste like heaven, Evie,” Xavier growled against my center before he closed his mouth over my folds again and sucked. He pulled me even closer, his shou
lders pressing up against the backs of my thighs. I cried out, getting closer and closer. It felt so dirty having him do this to me on the sofa. I felt his finger against me before he slipped it in. Exhaling, I still marveled at the sensation of having something inside me. Xavier groaned against my heated flesh, the vibrations sending another spike in pleasure through my nether regions. “Fuck, you are so tight.”
He moved his finger in and out slowly before his lips found my clit again, sucking almost roughly, and I came apart. Clinging to the sofa, I shook desperately as a breathtaking wave of pleasure raced through me and small dots burst in my vision. Xavier kept up his magic, making sounds of approval as he sent me into blissful oblivion.
As I tried to catch my breath, my fingers slipped off the headrest and dropped down beside my body. Xavier pressed kisses to my center and inner thighs before he lowered my legs, which were pretty useless at this point, and climbed back up to hover over me. His hair was all over the place from my tugging and his chin glistened with my arousal. My cheeks blasted with heat at the sight, but at the same time a new wave of desire took hold of me.
Xavier’s expression darkened with desire, too, as he watched my heaving chest, but he made no move to take things further. He leaned down and kissed me, exhaling a low breath. Even still in his jeans the heat of his erection seemed to scorch my inner thigh. He wanted me, and I wanted him. I had to be insane to insist on the stupid ban at this point. I couldn’t even resist a piece of candy the first day into the New Year after another weight-loss resolution; how was I supposed to resist Xavier? That man was pure male eye candy.
“Can we go upstairs?” I asked, out of breath, my skin heating more at what I was suggesting.
Xavier groaned against my mouth, then kissed me with my taste still on his lips. He clambered off the sofa and held out his hand. Taking it, I allowed him to pull me to my feet. My dress fell down my legs, covering my ass and privates. Xavier let me toward the winding staircase. It was impossible to miss the huge bulge in his pants, and a hint of nerves filled me. Last time had been very painful, but I wanted to feel Xavier inside of me again. I wanted nothing more.