She can’t fuck this up.
I can’t.
“I’m sorry,” she moans. “Please.”
“This isn’t a game,” I tell her, emphasizing my words with another lick of the belt. “We are not equals in this. The only reason I’m allowing you out of my room is to pay back your debt. The only chance you have to pay us back is with your obedience. Am I clear?”
“Yes,” she whimpers. “Yes, sir.”
I hate that she’s made me do this. I hate that Maksym’s hands are anywhere near her. I hate that she’s giving me a fucking erection by being strewn over the table and helpless while I punish her.
Because I’m a sick fucking bastard and I don’t really hate this at all.
In silence I slide my belt back on, not giving Maksym the instruction to release her until I’m good and ready. Her spanking hasn’t sated my anger at all. My cock throbs.
“Apologize to my men for your insolence.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, sniffling, and I don’t care. She isn’t softening me with her soft pleas and her tears. I don’t want to gather her in my arms and kiss away the tears. I don’t.
I fucking don’t.
I pull her dress down and nod to Maksym to release her. I lead her to my lap, then take her on my knee and hold her to me while I speak to the others. This is no sweet gesture, but one meant to keep her subdued. She sits erect, no more cuddling up to me and trying to seek comfort. She’s as distant from me as if she were across the room. It’s fair. I expect her obedience and nothing more. I imagine I hurt more than her pretty ass with her punishment. Her pride is bruised.
With her firmly held to me, I issue commands to the others to prepare for tonight. We’re going to a public sphere not twenty-four hours after we’ve lost one of our own. I’ll need surveillance and protection for both me and Calina. Maksym goes over who will be where, and how we’ll stay in touch. Tomorrow, we debrief.
“Any word on the attack?” I ask.
Filip nods. “He does seem to have a former affiliation with the Thieves, but just former. There are no current connections that we can see. He wears their marks but the Thieves are still in America.”
I shake my head. We make many enemies, and sometimes the most obvious suspect is part of a larger scheme. Could it be a random attack? I shake my head. “Keep looking.”
We have one hour before we leave, and I want her ready. “Calina and I will prepare to leave,” I say. But before we go, I need to remind her who she is, why she’s here, and to whom she belongs.
“Filip, bring up her time sheet.” He taps on a tablet and her eyes widen when I bring up her time here and update how much she’s paid off. I’ve tallied the hours she spent with me the night before and the morning.
I could make her stay for eternity or allow her to pay off her debt in one fell swoop. Or I could do what I do now, remind her of why she’s here and how we’ll handle this.
I tuck a stray hair behind her ear and she allows it, her eyes focused on something far away, not even bothering looking my way. “Tonight will count as double time if you play your part well, Calina. Do you understand?”
But she only nods meekly. “Yes, sir.”
If what I demand is her surrender, why do I dislike the quenched fire in her eyes? The way she holds herself apart from me even on my knee? Why does my memory go to her curled up on my chest in slumber?
“Come with me,” I tell her. I want her alone for a little while before this evening. I consider my options and formulate a plan.Chapter 11I will never forget the way he’s humiliated me. I’ll never forgive him.
But I’ll never forgive myself either. How could I? When he ordered the big, burly man to hold me down and took off his belt, I knew what was coming. I cringed inwardly knowing he was going to punish me. Then why did my body thrum with electric need and desire before the first lash?
I’m as fucked up as the real Calina. Maybe I’m the one who needs a shrink and a straitjacket.
God.
It hurt. I was embarrassed and angry, but furious at myself for even allowing the jealousy to impact my behavior.
They were telling him to fuck another man’s wife, that much I gathered. Joking as if sticking his dick in some woman would give him political leverage, and I’m not dumb enough to think it wouldn’t work.
It sure fucking could.
Then why did it bother me to imagine him doing just that?