But no. When his eyes come to mine, there’s nothing but love in those depths.
My heart aches. I can’t move. I can’t speak.
“I found you,” he says.
He doesn’t rush me or advance on me when understanding dawns in his eyes. His mouth softens, and he drops his hands in surrender.
“I was never going to hurt you, Sadie. Not ever. I love you.”
A sob rises in my throat. “But I thought—we thought—”
“It doesn’t matter what you thought,” he says, shaking his head. “That’s behind us now.”
I ran from the only man who’s ever loved me. I left, but it wasn’t just me I protected. I made a rash decision. The only decision.
We stand apart. In my heart, I know he tells the truth, but I can’t bring myself to go to him, though. Too much has passed, too much fear and pain.
I watch his eyes gentle as he opens his arms to me, then he says the one thing that undoes me.
“Come here, krasotka.”
I go to him at a full run, and when I hit his chest, I break apart.
“I thought,” I sob, “I ran from you but I—I thought—”
“Shh,” he hushes, tucking me into his chest where I belong. “You feared the worst. Nikita was partially right, because she heard Dimitri’s confession and order, but she assumed I was going to hurt you. I could never, Sadie.” His voice breaks. “Never.” He holds me until the weeping subsides, then rests his hand on my abdomen. “You’re not pregnant. Please, Sadie. Tell me.”
The baby.
Oh, God.
I push away from him and run into the small bedroom that’s a little larger than a closet.
Our little boy sleeps soundly, wrapped in soft cotton blankets.
I lift him in my arms and take him to his daddy.
I watch Kazimir’s eyes widen in wonder, my throat clogged. I swallow hard so I can tell him. “I thought I lost him,” I whisper. “The day we ran, I fell. I thought he was gone, but I only bled.” My voice drops. “He’s fierce, like his daddy. He couldn’t be held back. He came early, and fast, and within days I had him home with me. He’s two months old.” Born in a humble midwife’s apartment, he came early and announced his entrance with a loud wail that made both me and Nikita laugh and cry. He’s his father’s son, and I’m filled with pride handing him to Kazimir.
Wordlessly, Kazimir stretches his arms toward the small bundle in my arms. My heart squeezes as his eyes rest on his son. I rest my head on his shoulder and put my arm around him.
“I lost everything when you left,” he whispers. “And now, here in this room, I have my whole world.”
Nikita does not return. Kazimir tells me that he paid her, and I know I can reach her through her mother. She’s given everything to protect me and baby Karol.
“Karol,” Kazimir murmurs. He hasn’t put his son down once.
“It means strong,” I tell him. “Manly. I wanted to name him Kazimir, but Nikita had a fit.” We laugh together over this.
“There is always the next son,” he says with a twinkle in his eye. I lean down toward him, my heart swelling with pride seeing the man I love holding my son. His strong, deep voice makes my body vibrate with energy. Longing. It’s been so long. So very long. I kiss him gently.
“It’s a plan,” I say.
I feed him the simple soup and bread I’ve made, and though he’s used to dining in luxury, he declares it’s the most delicious food he’s ever had. He tells me how he left his brotherhood and that only last week, he got news that Dimitri took his own life.
“It may be safe for me to return,” he says. “But I have no interest. Demyan has taken over as leader,” he tells me. “And given our history, it’s best I don’t return. Demyan has always wanted to be the one in power. I do stay in touch with a few of them, though.”
“We should go somewhere,” I tell him. “Some place warm.”
The sound of his deep, husky laugh thrills me. “We can do that,” he says. “I don’t much care where we go. I have what I need right here.”“Shhh,” he whispers in my ear. “If you wake the baby, I’ll spank your ass.”
I grin against the gag in my mouth. He spent an hour rocking the baby back to sleep, and he’s finally peacefully at rest in the other room. I could have sat watching him hold Karol up to his chest for hours, though. My husband came for me. And now that we’re back together, there is nothing that will pull us apart.
Other couples might revel in the slow, sweet lovemaking a reunion affords and soon, we will. But tonight? Tonight, I want him to take me the way only Kazimir can.