I nod my thanks and don’t respond. “I will tell you, sweetheart, that although you are parent-less, it seems my son means to make you his. It would bring me great pleasure to call you daughter.”
“I would like that,” I manage to whisper. “So much so.”
His eyes crinkle around the edges and he squeezes my hand. “You are a very good girl. I wish you hadn’t gone through what you did. But we will take care of you. All of us.”
I know they will. My stern Russian bodyguard has looked out for me since the very first day we met. He fought for me and now he’s taking me home.
Rafael and Laina greet us when we return. Rafael gives me a hug so tight, he lifts me straight up off the ground and into the air, and Laina holds me so long, Nicolai finally has to pull her off. She talks incessantly to Nicolai, demanding all the answers, but I’m tired. So tired. Nicolai finally makes her go, takes both our bags, and brings me to his room at the compound.
It feels so weird being here, but right at the same time.
“Come,” he says, taking me to his room and shutting the door behind us. He locks it. “Tomorrow we debrief the rest of the brotherhood. We will need our rest.”
I’m so tired I collapse on the bed.
“Are we finally home?” I ask.
Fully clothed, he climbs onto the bed beside me. “Finally home, zvezda moya,” he whispers. “And to think, the last time we were here I hadn’t even touched you yet.”
I climb up onto his chest and rest my head in the crook of his neck. He holds me to him.
“You hadn’t, but hell did I fantasize about it.”
“Did you, my love?”
I laugh to myself at the memory of my childish fantasy. Though I’m still so young, I don’t feel it anymore. What I’ve gone through has aged me. It seems like the teens I was friends with, worrying about things like college and handbags and what job they’ll get, are light years away from where I am now. I want nothing more than to be right where I am, tucked into Nicolai and apart from anyone and anything that could tear us apart.
“I just wanted you to notice me,” I say with a laugh.
“Notice you?” he asks. “It was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do, keeping my hands off you.”
I smile and grab his hand, nestling it against my breast. “You don’t have to keep your hands off me anymore,” I tell him. “Please don’t.”
He chuckles and kisses my hand, then pulls it to his heart. “I won’t,” he says. “But tonight, we need sleep.”
“Yes, sir,” I say without thinking. I freeze, looking up at him. He sobers and tucks me against his chest again.
“I—it’s automatic,” I whisper. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to call you sir, or…” I’m stammering and embarrassed.
He sobers. “Stop.”
I close my mouth and look to him.
“Much has changed between us,” he says. “But this doesn’t have to.”
I think about it and wonder how I feel about it.
“Yes, sir,” I say. My chest expands with joy when he holds me to him and responds.
“You are my very good girl.”
“I can still call you my sir?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says. “We will establish ourselves as a couple here in the brotherhood. But it pleases me very much when you submit to me, Marissa. And taking care of you fills me with more joy than you could ever imagine.”
I like that. No, I love that. I’m his soft place to land after he’s served his brotherhood. And somehow, submitting to his authority empowers me. I wouldn’t want to change that between us.
“But something does need to change between us,” he says.
My heart beats a little faster. “Oh?”
He glides his hand to my belly and rests it there. “If I’ve put a baby in you, I want to be your husband.”
I close my eyes and hold him tighter, overcome with emotion before I can speak. “Is that a proposal, sir?”
“Be my wife, Marissa?” he asks.
The proposal would be almost casual if it didn’t hold the power of changing everything.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Nicolai, I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you.” I place my hand atop his on my belly. “And some day, I want those children with you. We’ve come so far. We will find our way.”
He holds me to him, his voice a vehement whisper I feel in my soul. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I whisper. “And I always will.”
We fall asleep like that, exhausted but sated, in the certain knowledge that our enemies are no longer in pursuit, we have the power of two loyal brotherhoods at our backs, and tomorrow holds a world of possibilities.EpilogueSix months laterI pull up to the compound at dusk, fading sunlight filtering through trees and hitting the dash, momentarily blinding me. Laina sits beside me in the passenger seat, slurping the last of her lemonade through a straw. To anyone who saw us, we’d look like just regular girls back from a shopping spree, plastic bags stuffed into the back of the car witness to our exploits. They maybe wouldn’t notice the men who followed us everywhere we went, or the sleek black car that pulls in behind us now. When I was younger—hell, it wasn’t that long ago—I felt the protection was oppressive. I hated it, and would try to hide from Nicolai. I wanted my freedom so badly I would cry at night, wondering how anyone could be happy under the constant watchful eye of the Bratva. Now, it brings a sort of comfort I can’t deny. I suppose having lived through what I have will sober a girl.