I roll over and do what he tells me, resting my head on his bare chest. His arms encircle me and he holds me like this. I listen to the steady beating of his heart, and try to will myself to get back to sleep.
Nicolai has me, but will we be able to escape from here? Has he just joined me in my prison? Or does freedom await us somehow?Chapter 14Nicolai
I wake the next morning with Marissa curled up on my chest, and for a moment I actually feel as if I’m dreaming. I breathe her in, the sweet scent of her hair, and hold my own breath so I don’t wake her. I’ve dreamt of this very thing, having her back and under my protection. Only we’re still ensnared in a web of lies, betrayal, and danger at every corner.
I’ve found her. But we are far from safe.
Tomorrow, we will arrive in Boston and meet the Boston Bratva. I have to keep my anonymity and keep her safe at the same time. I’m supposed to be offering her as tribute, so it’s a fine line I walk. I want to take her and run so badly it’s consuming my every thought, but logically I know this can’t happen. I’m not sure how I’ll keep her safe, but for today, I have to keep my cover.
I’ll enjoy this moment while it lasts. Holding her, nestled up against my chest like this. Safe.
“Good morning,” she whispers. I run my hand down the back of her head, holding her to me. I didn’t know she was awake. Her fingers trail along my chest, the very tip a pale, oval-shaped pink. Innocent. So fucking innocent.
“Good morning,” I whisper back. The ship is quiet for now, many likely still sleeping. But soon, it will be time to go to the main decks, and we’ll have to keep our covers. My biggest obstacle will be keeping my temper in check, knowing that some of the men aboard this ship were the ones who touched her, the ones who will pay for what they’ve done.
She lifts her head, and her eyes meet mine. “Is this real?” she asks, so low I almost don’t hear her. She looks at me with such hope, such trust, I grip her tightly to me.
“It’s fucking real,” I whisper. “But we walk a razor’s edge. Do you understand that?”
Her eyes still on me, she nods. “I think so,” she whispers.
“I will do anything to protect you,” I tell her. “No one will harm you. Ever. Again. But we have to do this.”
She closes her eyes and her arms around me tighten. “I know.”
I give myself one more brief moment of this, of holding my Marissa to me and being her lover, and not her master. “Zvezda moya,” I murmur. “My star. You are my light in a world of darkness.”
I trace one finger down the side of her face. Assuming the mask once again. “You are my slave,” I remind her. To anyone who looks at us, the cover needs to be believable.
She nods again. “Yes, master.”
It shouldn’t make me hard to hear her say that, but it does. It fucking does. I’m holding her nearly naked to my chest, the girl I’ve watched over all these years. But she isn’t a girl anymore, and though she’s under my protection, she’s not my charge. She is no longer innocent and naïve.
We’ve left our worlds behind, and if I have anything to do about it, we’ll fucking do it again.
My cock is hard against her belly, reminding me what I need to do tonight. Someone stirs in the room beside me. Will she be able to obey me on command, without faltering?
“Out of bed,” I tell her, the tone of my voice so harsh she flinches, and it fucking kills me. But I don’t back down. When she looks up at me in surprise but doesn’t move, I grip her chin in my hand.
“Do I need to punish you before we eat breakfast?”
She shakes her head and scrambles out of the bed. When she rights herself, she tucks her arms behind her back and brings her shoulders back but keeps her head bowed.
“Good girl,” I tell her. “It’s time for us to go over my expectations for you.” I have to play this right. I have to keep our cover, and no one must ever know the truth. “Kneel.”
She drops to her knees, her hands still behind her back and head bowed. It’s fucking beautiful, but I can’t let myself be distracted.
I sit up in bed and cross my arms on my chest. I’m not playing a game here. Her safety is on the line, and if she doesn’t follow her role perfectly, she’s at risk. I don’t bother keeping my voice quiet, but speak loud enough for anyone outside these doors to hear.