I absentmindedly finger the locket at my wrist, and his eyes go to my fingers wrapped around the heavy gold.
“It feels so weird… thinking about things like my dorm room and classes,” I tell him. “When there are women being abused and stolen and actual lives on the line here. I feel like I have a foot in both worlds or something, I guess. I mean, I knew you guys did things that weren’t exactly legal, but…” my voice trails off, as it does when I’m weirdly struck by emotion.
I love Nolan. I love Cormac and Keenan and Carson and all the men of the Clan like they’re my brothers. They’ve been so good to me, to my family, to Sheena and Tiernan.
My brother. Oh, God, my brother.
I don’t even want to think about what he does.
Lachlan’s eyes gentle as he approaches me. I’ve never seen him like this, in a starched white shirt and trousers, and I swear I’d lose my knickers all over again just staring at him. He places one finger under my chin and holds my gaze to his.
“The men of the Clan don’t do what these men do, lass. Keenan holds us to a higher standard. And yes, we’re no angels. That you know. We’ve never pretended to be anything more than the criminals we are.”
He states the truth baldly, with no apology, but the earnestness in his eyes somehow tells me he knows I’m ready to hear it now.
“And yes, we’ve shielded you from some of the harsher, more violent things that we do. That all of us do, even Nolan and Keenan and Tiernan. But Fiona. The life at college isn’t a world apart, love. We’ve shielded you from those things so that you can still be who you’re meant to be. You’ve had to grow up so fast.” His eyes are pained when he shakes his head. “Don’t you understand? It’s precisely for this reason I never pursued you, never touched you. I knew it would happen, just this.”
“What?” I ask, trying to understand. “You knew what would happen?”
He sighs. “That by being with me, you’d lose the rest of your innocence.”
My heart melts at that and I’m suddenly overcome with emotion. My throat is tight and my nose tingles.
I will not cry.
I need him to see me as strong and capable, not an emotional little moppet who needs the protection of a man. I lift my chin and stare him straight in the eyes.
“No more, Lachlan.”
He tips his head to the side. “No more what?”
“No more deciding what I need for me.”
He blinks and doesn’t respond. I go on. It’s on the very tip of my tongue to tell him I love him, but somehow, for some reason I can’t quite fathom, I need him to say those words first. And I need more than a few days of us being together before I can take that plunge. I know in my heart I love him, and I know in my heart he loves me.
“I can’t help it, sweet girl,” he says. “I can no more stop myself from wanting to protect you than I can stop my heart from beating.”
I shake my head. “That isn’t what I mean. You can protect me all you need to. I crave that as much as you do. I’ve never felt safer than I am with you.”
He bends and kisses me so fiercely it takes my breath away. But when he stops, I continue. I’m not done. I have so much more to say.
“I’ll even do what you tell me,” I say.
He grins. “Sure you will. You’ll end up over my knee before the night is through.”
“I mean mostly,” I say, brushing him off, and his shoulders shake with laughter. “That’s not what I’m talking about, Lachlan. I know that you’ve got my best interest in mind. I understand that now. But if you think you’re doing me a favor by leaving me to pine away for you, you’re wrong. So wrong. You don’t give me what I need by ignoring what’s between us. And don’t you even try to deny it.”
“Feisty little one, she is,” he says approvingly, before he leans in and kisses my cheek. “You belong to me, Fiona Hurston. Don’t you ever forget that.”Chapter 12LachlanI’ve known for a while how she feels about me, how I feel about her. And I’ve lied to myself when I believed that what she needed was distance from me.
I thought she had to find her way, to chase her dreams, to make whatever her heart desires come to vivid fruition. I thought the only way for that to happen was for me to let her go.
I was wrong. So fucking wrong.
“Now, no more of this chatter,” I tell her with a teasing wink. She goes to stick her tongue out at me but seems to think better about it. “We’ve a lifetime to talk things out, lass. Tonight, we’ve got a job to do.”