Dottie reaches for my hand, squeezing it tight. "Oh, Dane," she says, gasping at the words the doctor has spoken. Words that breathe life into a deadly situation.
"We must move immediately," my doctor explains. "There is no time to waste, you're already at the cusp of being too far gone for this to work."
"It's a risk then?" Dottie asks.
"It's a very high risk."
I look at Dottie, she seems to be deciding something, then she kisses my hand. Leans over and kisses my lips.
Then she looks into my eyes and whispers, "I love you, Dane. I know we just barely met but I know you were made for me. This may be the end, but you gave me a reason to live. And I have to tell you, before your surgery, you are a—"
I want to hear her words, but I can't manage to listen, my body is too weak, and she feels so far from me. My eyes close and the rest of her words lost on me. My body sinks deeper into the hospital bed.
There is a flurry of movement around me, but I'm in a fog, reaching deeper into the darkness that seems to swallow me whole.
"I love you," I say, but no sound comes through my lips. "I love you, Dottie," I say again, not knowing if anyone can hear me.
I fall into sleep, praying her words will carry me through this operation... or even possibly, carry me into whatever comes after this life.Chapter ThirteenI'm pacing in the surgical wing when Lexi arrives with Asher. He's fussing in her arms, all red-faced and trying to wriggle his way out of her grasp. Seeing him takes away some of the heartache I feel. It's been such a long day.
I pull them both into a hug, tears streaking my cheeks as I explain everything that has happened since this morning.
"Oh my God, did you tell him?" Lexi asks.
We sit in sterile hospital chairs as I open my top to allow Asher to nurse.
"I gave him a bottle an hour ago, but of course he's been crying for you," Lexi says, setting the diaper bag on the chair beside her.
"Thank you for everything. I couldn't have done this without you." Asher finds my breast and begins nursing, instantly calming himself. "But no, I don't think Dane heard me. He was...," I shake my head remembering the way Dane looked when he was wheeled away for the operation. "He looked like he was on death's door."
"Oh, sweetie, it's too much."
"I know," I say, blinking back tears. "But I told him I loved him and I know it's been only a few days... but I do. I really do, Lexi."
Sobs wrack me as I hold Asher close, imagining Dane on that hospital table... as I imagine him not making it through the operation.
"It's not crazy, Dottie," Lexi says soothingly. "Love isn't black and white. You made Asher together... he opened you up in a way you'd never allowed another man to do. He must be something special to have done whatever he did to you in Miami."
"He didn't just screw me, Lexi, and I know that's what everyone thought when they found out I was pregnant. When he made love to me... that first time... it was magical... so meant to be."
"It's okay to fall in love with a stranger," Lexi says. "Hell, I've been married a year and some days it still feels like I don't know my husband."
I manage to crack a smile through the tears. "If he dies without knowing Asher..." I press my lips to Asher's head. He's fallen asleep against me, milk drool on his mouth. I pull up my shirt and let Asher rest against my shoulder, patting his back softly.
"Don't think like that, Dottie. Right now Dane needs you to believe in him. Believe in the power of your love. After all, the fact that you and his brother were in that accident... the crash that brought him a kidney. It seems like fate."
"But his brother died, Lexi. It's too bittersweet, too tragic to be considered destiny."
"Dottie, sometimes life is like a sunset. Things have to come to a close for the sun to rise the next morning."
Her words make sense, even if they are sad. But maybe not every love story is written in the stars... maybe some love stories are written on the sun.
I close my eyes, praying that Dane makes it out alive, hoping on a ray of sunlight that he comes out of this so he can meet his son.
So he can meet Asher.The day turns into night, and Lexi, Asher, and I are all asleep when a doctor comes to find us.
I open my eyes when he pats my shoulder. When Asher wakes, offering us a smile—revealing a front tooth that finally broke through while he slept—it's as if I can already sense things are going to be okay.