I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast except... okay, never mind. I don't think Dane Westbrook’s come counts as a meal.
But oh, my God, when he's inside of me I feel so full.
"We should get some food," he says. We're lying on the floor, our hands laced together as one. My leg is draped across his leg, and from this viewpoint, it seems impossible that his kidneys could fail him at any hour.
I look over at the clock on the wall and do a double take.
"Oh shit, shit, shit."
"What is it?" Dane asks.
"I have to go. I have to..."
Suddenly my throat constricts, I can't breathe. I just fucked this man for the last five hours and didn't tell him the one thing he deserves to know.
"Dottie, what is it? Don't freak out now," he tells me.
But I'm already standing and reaching for my underwear and bra. I fed Asher before we left this morning but now my breasts are achingly full.
It's time for me to pick him up at daycare, I can't afford to keep him there more hours in the day.
"I'm not freaking out, I swear. I just have to be somewhere. I have to—"
But Dane doesn't like that I'm leaving and suddenly he's fuming. "Really? How can you just walk away like this, after this day we shared? Dottie, what are you thinking? You can't just—" He exhales, running his hands through his hair.
I hate to see him this way and I feel like an idiot for not telling him about Asher sooner. But I had to meet him first, make sure he is a solid man, a safe person to be around Asher. And now that I know he is, the pressure is so high. He is dying and introducing him to his child before he goes... it feels cruel.
"How sick are you, Dane? The news said you had kidney failure. I looked it up online, are you getting dialysis or..."
"I've been getting dialysis for the last six months. It's doing nothing. I could die at any fucking moment. And what do I have to show for it? I own a billion dollar company and don't even have a child to pass my money on to. What kind of person has no family?"
"I'm so sorry. I hate that you've been alone through all this."
"Then don't leave. What could mean more than us? Than what could be... or at least, what we could have been."
I try to say it. I try to say the words. But the words feel wrong. I should have brought Asher with me, even if it's painful knowing he is going to die. It would be easier if he were in my arms and Dane could see his face.
It would be so obvious, so crystal clear he's his father. Tomorrow, I can bring Asher to him and show him his son. At least this way he will die knowing he has a legacy.
"I have to go. Trust me. Tomorrow my whole day is yours. I promise. But I have to go do something right now," I say as he crosses his arms in frustration. "Don't be angry with me. I promise, when I see you again it will make sense. You will be so happy. You'll be so..." I stop because maybe he won't be happy. Maybe this will kill him.
"Whatever you have to do, I understand. You don’t need to explain anything to me, Dottie. I’m just so glad we had today.”
I pull on my dress and reach for his hand. "I’ll be back, I swear.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Dottie. I feel so goddamn lucky to have had any time with you at all. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. My mother would have loved you.”
His words bring tears back to the surface. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. “Was she a good woman?”
He smiles softly, memories washing over him. “The best. You know, the day we met in Miami, was the anniversary of her and my father’s death. I was so sad that day, missing them. Then I saw you, wearing those big black sunglasses. My mom wore sunglasses like that. And it pulled me to you. I knew you were different. And I was right. Dottie, whatever happens next, know this, I will always treasure you.”
“This isn’t goodbye, Dane,” I tell him, my heart brimming with emotion. Dane may have had a colorful past, but my heart breaks over the fact that he can’t have an even brighter future.
“Until next time, then,” he says, pulling me in for a final kiss.
And with that, I slip out the door of his office, knowing when I return, I will change his life.Chapter TenDottie left a message, telling me tomorrow morning she wants to meet me at my house.