The world tilts just as I bend my knees to descend the stairs. The steps rush upward to greet me; this isn't how I envisioned leaving, but the ambulance should get here quickly. He’ll call them and not let me stay there on the floor in a heap. I think he will, at least.
My shirt goes taut first, pulling away from my back. “I've got you!” Kodiche’s hands slide around me, catching me before I can tumble headfirst. “You’re safe now.” I’m more like a rag doll than human in his arms, hefted up to his chest.
When he turns me, the ceiling keeps twirling. I'm beyond dizzy, unable to focus, and he can see it in my clammy, pale skin. “Fuck,” he growls. “What's wrong with you? Are you okay?” He doesn't wait for me to answer, he holds me close and carries me not to my bed, but his. “Do you need water?” he asks, setting me on the silver duvet.
I don’t, and asking for it will just delay the inevitable. “No. And I'm fine.”
“Like hell you are,” he snaps, running fingers through his hair. That's when I recognize the emotion in his liquid onyx eyes; fear. He's worried about me.
Realizing that stops me cold. I grasp onto that information and use it to calm my heart, center myself so the panic attack fades. I'm still feeling off, but I know I could get up and leave now.
But I don't.
He sits on the bed beside me, our hands nearly touching but not. “Vivian,” he says slowly. My name is too warm on his tongue; I want to curl up in his voice. “Tell me what's going on. You almost fainted back there.”
I play with the edge of Kodiche’s blanket in an attempt to avoid looking at his reaction. “That happens sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“When I'm exhausted... or stressed out.”
The bed shifts as he leans closer. “Am I stressing you out?”
I'm shaking my head quick enough to make me nauseous again. “No! I mean... a little.” Eyeing him, I scrunch down, making myself small. “There's stuff you don't know.”
He doesn't break his stare. “I want to know. Tell me, please.”
He wills me with his eyes, but ultimately, I'm just tired of lying. And what does it matter anymore? He's firing me, maybe he should know how much harder he's about to make my life. “My parents have been in poor health since I was little. I've been working to take care of them both, and the medical bills are insane, even with their insurance. My dad’s heart went out of rhythm the other night, too.”
“That's what you were texting about when I walked in,” he says. “Viv, I’m not that much of a monster, am I? If you’d told me you had to go to the hospital to see your dad, I’d have gladly taken you there myself. Hell, I know what it’s like to have a sick parent. Didn’t I tell you that my mom is bed-ridden? I know the guys at work all call me ‘The Kodiak’ behind my back, but isn’t my bark far worse than my bite?”
Laughter wells up unbidden. “I haven’t been bitten by you to compare, and bears don’t bark. They growl and roar.”
His cheeks are sunken, hollowed as he thinks and purses his lips. “You've taken on a hug burden by helping them like this.”
“I have to,” I insist. “There's no one else. People need to be helped, that's why I volunteer at the hospital.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “You volunteer as well? Where do you find the hours?”
Feeling like I've been caught in a trap, I just shrug.
“You're working yourself to the bone to take care of your parents, volunteering at the hospital, and trying to work for me. It's no wonder you've been making mistakes.”
“I can handle it,” I mumble. “I mean, I have to.”
Kodiche frowns. “You should have said something.” The finger on my chin moves along my jaw until he’s cupping my cheek.
“How, when anytime I opened my mouth it usually earned me a spanking? And why? Who tells their boss about this stuff?” I chuckle cynically.
“The day you spilled the coffee on the presentation,” he says suddenly. “Was that because you were exhausted?” I hate how he's scrutinizing me with such pity.
I look away, wanting to be anywhere else but his bed. He cages me in with his arms, saying, “Stop. Tell me the truth.”
“Fine.” I nearly spit the word out because nothing feels fine anymore. “The truth is I’m an idiot who thought I could do whatever it took to keep my job, to keep my parents in their house and marginally healthy, and to keep spending time with the kids at the hospital. But I’m clearly stupid and not worth the effort to stay in your company or to cost you so much. If you’ll just let me up, I’ll take my lazy, stupid self and get out of—”
His mouth covers mine, shutting me up.
8
This can’t be real. I must have fallen, and this is all just some delicious dream. There’s no way he would be kissing me, right?
Kodiche’s mouth is demanding, working against mine like every sigh and breath he coaxes out of me is keeping him alive. There’s no resisting when his lips part and his tongue joins the kiss. Not that I want to resist.
His muscles bunch up beneath my hands as I stroke down his back, relaxing when I scratch my nails down and hold him to me. I love the way his weight feels on me, shielding me from everything but the chemistry between us. His tongue does maddening things in my mouth, never going too deep, but constantly moving as we kiss.
We pull apart, panting, yet I still keep rubbing his back, feeling him. I never thought I’d see him like this, and no matter what brought it about, I’m not ready for it to stop.
“How could I have ever thought you were lazy?” Unsure if he’s voicing a rhetorical question, I wait for what more he wants to say. “You aren’t a failure, Vivian Robbins. You are absolutely amazing.”
He captures my lips again, withdrawing and smiling when I lean up after him. “I want to fuck you.” The way he says it makes my pussy tighten and nipples tingle.
Spreading my legs, I use my body to tell him how much I want him. “Please, sir,” I whisper. When he continues kneeling above me without touching me, I reach for his belt. His cock is already hard and pushing at the fabric, making it difficult to get his pants undone. I finally free his erection, smiling as he groans at my touch. He slips through my palm in a lazy thrust, and I’m dying to have him inside me. “I’m yours. How do you want me?”
Every other time we’ve had sex, it’s been on the floor, a couch, the counter, a chair; we’ve never been on a bed. And it’s always been with me facing away. I’ve never gotten to look into his face as we fuck.
Pulling free of my hand, Kodiche lowers his body onto mine. “Just . . . like . . . this . . .” He grunts out the words as he enters me, one hard thrust until he’s all the way in. “Viv,” he starts, then shakes his head and kisses me instead.
Tongue, lips, and teeth move in tandem as we kiss. Fucking seems to be secondary to the hungry way he devours my mouth. Thrusting my tongue into his mouth, I mimic the ones of his cock inside me. Minutes pass as we kiss and fuck, and I don’t know which feels better. I know both have left their mark soul-deep on me.
His teeth graze my lip and tug, and I hiss at the sharp pain that melts into throbbing pleasure. I do it to him, smiling into his mouth as he groans. Loving his reaction, I nip along his jaw until my mouth hovers over the tender skin of his neck. His pulse flutters beneath my lips, and I bite down—hard.
“Fuck!” Kodiche slams into me, moaning as he shakes through his orgasm. So hard and fast, neither of us had a warning. He slips to the side of me, rolling me with him, and he’s still half-hard inside me as his fingers dip down to where we’re joined. “Naughty minx making me come before I was ready,” Kodiche chides.
“I’m sorry, sir.” My reply is hard to understand to my own ears, with all my whimpers and hissed breaths as he plays with my clit.
“I’ll forgive you this time. Can you come for me? I want to see your eyes as you come.” He kisses me again, softer but deeper, and our eyes are on each other despite how much mine fight to drift closed and let me just feel wh
at he’s doing to me.