But I don’t necessarily feel lonely from a romantic perspective. Or is it because I’m still grieving that I haven’t had time for any other emotions to work their way in?
Regardless, I can’t help but be truthful. “I have no clue if I’m ready or not. Had never even thought about it until you just said that.”
“Sorry,” he murmurs apologetically.
“No, don’t be sorry,” I rush to reassure him with a quick shake of my head. “Actually… it’s part of my push forward, right? I mean, I suppose there will come a time where I’d consider dating. Is there like an appropriate amount of time you’re supposed to wait?”
Malik smiles, seeming amused. “I’m pretty sure there’s no handbook on this. Also, pretty sure Corinne would tell you to trust your gut.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty good at pushing things off on gut instinct, isn’t she?”
Malik leans back in his seat, fingertips tapping the side of his glass as he considers it. “I think she reminds you to trust your gut if she thinks you’re a strong enough individual to have a reasonable compass when it comes to scenarios like that.”
“Good point,” I say, picking up my glass. I take a tiny sip. “But going back to Jaime, I have to say…despite her matchmaking enthusiasm, I really liked her.”
Malik nods sagely. “You can tell Cage really likes her, too.”
“He needs to tell her the truth.”
“Immediately,” he adds.
I take another sip of my beer. “What about you? Are you dating anyone? Or are you sort of a hook-up kind of guy like Cage?”
After pondering his beer for a moment, Malik finally shrugs. “I’m not any one thing. I mean… I’ve dated. Had some serious relationships—mainly in high school—but, honestly, my time in the Marines sort of put a cramp in my dating life. I expect this job will be much of the same. Maybe that’s why Cage is the way he is… because of the job.”
“Cage is actually relationship averse,” I point out. “As in… he says monogamy is for schmucks, but I actually think he just doesn’t trust easily. I think he’s afraid of being hurt, so he holds himself back.”
“No rewards without risks, right?” Malik suggests. “Maybe you should remind him of that.”
“For sure,” I reply.
We chitchat about work, mostly me filling Malik in on the company. He was so new when he joined us last June and he immediately headed out on that op to Syria, so he just hasn’t had a chance to get to know everyone.
He asks about Avery, which leads to questions about my family.
Which, in turn, makes me ask, “What are your plans for the holiday weekend? Going home?”
Malik shakes his head. “Nah… we never really celebrated Thanksgiving… being Canadian and all.”
“But aren’t you a dual citizen?” I ask.
“So it’s been pointed out,” he replies with a smirk. “But growing up in Montreal, we just never celebrated it. It wasn’t a holiday for us.”
“Still, Jameson is going to be closed down.” I pick up my glass, knocking back the last swallow. “Be a great time to get in a trip home for a visit.”
Malik once again shakes his head, appearing a bit contemplative. “I need my family to know I’m okay. The best way to do that is to not go home. Thought I’d just hang out here, eat all the calories my body can handle, and maybe catch up on some reading.”
“Well then, you must come with me to my mom’s for Thanksgiving dinner,” I say enthusiastically. “I mean, she’ll have a combination of the traditional turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, but she’ll also cook some Polish stuff for her brothers who come over with their families. Lots of cousins and kids will be there. It’s a great time.”
Malik seems horrified at my suggestion, and I feel terrible for even making the offer. He must see something in me, recognizes he might have offended me, and he backtracks. “It’s a really great offer, Anna. In normal circumstances, I’d take it. Honestly, I’m just not up for socializing right now.”
I tilt my head. “But you came out with me tonight—”
“Because I feel comfortable with you,” he points out. “I’m sure your family is amazing. I’d also really like to meet Avery at some point, but honestly… it’s just a little too much right now.”
“Of course,” I rush to reassure him. “It’s not a problem at all.”
He smiles, gesturing at my empty cup. “You about ready to go?”
I nod, but I can’t help but speak something that’s been on my mind. “It’s painful to be around people, isn’t it?”
Malik’s eyes flare. Rather than look put out, though, he tilts his head curiously. “What makes you say that?”
“It’s just that you were isolated for so long without much contact or stimulation, so I imagine society has to be a bit of an overload for you right now.”