“We got close when he went to college,” Cal admitted. “I think he liked the freedom of being outside of Papillon, though obviously there were things he missed here.”
“Sera. Do you understand their relationship? I’ve been going over and over it in my head. Why choose Harry over Wes? I know Harry’s more handsome, but Wes wasn’t bad to look at.”
“You view marriage as something entirely different than the rest of the world. Or maybe just our little part of it. You married Dad because he could give you a better life. Sera wanted to build a better life with someone she truly loves. She viewed love as the foundation of that life. Your foundation was money.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to go hungry.” She didn’t need this judgment from her son. “You were given a car on your sixteenth birthday. My mother took the bus to work every day, and my father worked on cars he could never afford. When he could work. You don’t know what it means to not be able to afford medication, to wonder if you would even have a roof over your head. That was my childhood. You think yours was rough.”
“I wasn’t making a judgment, Mom. I truly wasn’t. I haven’t walked in your shoes, but you don’t understand what it feels like to be in Sera’s.”
That was the irony. “I don’t know about that. We both got pregnant by Beaumont men, and neither of us was married at the time.”
Cal’s lips curled up in what seemed to be a truly delighted grin. “Everyone knew I wasn’t a preemie. I weighed damn near nine pounds.” His grin faded. “I know you had it hard. You had to make choices based on how you grew up, on what you valued.”
“I know you won’t believe me, but I valued you. I valued your sister and your brother.”
Cal was silent for a moment. “Yeah, I know.”
He didn’t believe her. “Cal, I love you.”
“I do know that. I know that Wes was sick, and even when he was well, you kept waiting for it to all go to hell with him. I can’t understand what it means to potentially lose a child, but I bet Seraphina is feeling that right now.”
“Don’t you compare the two. Your brother had cancer.” A horrible thought struck her. She sat straight up. “Has anyone checked Luc? It could have passed to Luc.”
“Sera knows. She always knew Wes had a childhood cancer.” Angie stood in the doorway. She’d changed into jeans and her hair was up, her face scrubbed clean like she’d gotten ready for bed before she’d decided to come over. “When she came to me, I made sure she understood that Luc’s doctor should know. He’s perfectly normal and she knows what to check for.”
Celeste could suddenly breathe again. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Mom, I think you should read this letter,” Cal said.
“What you and your brother had to say to each other is between the two of you.” She didn’t want to know what Wes had said about her.
“He didn’t leave because of Sera, you know,” Cal continued. “He left because Dad told him he was a disappointment. Dear old dad told him Sera couldn’t love him because he wasn’t a real man. Dad liked to play us off each other.”
“I told you not to let him do that.” She’d always gone in behind Ralph and tried to make things better.
“It doesn’t always work that way,” Angie said, taking a seat on the couch. “It’s hard to not let it get to you. Read the letter, Mom. I read it. I’m glad I did. Wes died and it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t Sera’s. He died because sometimes the universe isn’t fair. Maybe he died because he’d learned what he needed to and it was time to move on. I don’t know, but I do know he wouldn’t want us to tear each other apart. I love you, but it’s time to let go. Not of Wes. We don’t ever have to let go of the love we felt for him. But you have to let go of your fear and your guilt. I need you to because I want to be a part of your life. One day I want my kids to know their opinionated, obnoxious, intelligent grandmother. I can’t do that if you put the mother of Wes’s child through hell because you have to punish someone.”
“She should have . . .” Should have what? Should have married a man she didn’t love the way Celeste herself had?
She took the letter from Cal. She owed it to her living children to do as they asked.
Dear Cal,
I’ve settled in and the surprising thing is, it’s not so bad. I like it here. Not Afghanistan, exactly. It’s hot and I’ve already had an encounter with a snake in the latrine that will stay with me the rest of my life, but there’s a peace I didn’t expect to find. Like I’m doing something good for the first time in my life. I know Mom is crazy worried, but I think I’m getting to know who I am without all the crap that comes with being a Beaumont. Like we’ve talked about. It’s good to make something from the bottom up. No one here cares what my family does. They don’t give a damn about money or how far back I can trace my ancestry. All that matters is how I do my job, how I take care of my friends. I know everyone expects me to come around and let Dad get me out of here, but I’m staying.