It was obvious anger was starting to bubble up in Noelle. “Of course I want to walk.”
Anger could be an excellent motivator. “Good. Then let me help you up.”
“Fuck you.”
This was what Noelle needed. A foe to defeat. “Yes. Fuck me. Now we’re going to get up. Tell me what you’re afraid of. Because if it’s falling, don’t be afraid of that. It will happen, and guess what? We’ll try it again and I will be right there with you. I will be there for you to fall on.”
Her whole face had gone a brilliant scarlet. “I hate you.”
“I’m okay with that. You can hate me all day as long as your ass is up on those bars.”
“This is all that matters to you, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” She’d lost Armie. She couldn’t lose this fight, too. When she thought about it, she’d kind of been prepping her whole life for this. It was time to let Noelle understand exactly what was at stake for her. “Do you know I’ve never really helped anyone I truly loved? I got into nursing because I was good at it and it was a profession that would lift me out of the poverty I grew up in. I was surrounded by all these vibrant women who treated it like a calling. They talked about how they wanted to help all these people. I did get that, but I’m going to admit that I’m far more intellectual than emotional. Except about the people I love. I thought all those years ago I went into nursing to lift myself up, and when I found myself with a gun pointed to my head and my life on the line, all I could think about was that nothing I had done to that point mattered.”
“You’re talking about what happened in Dallas?” The anger seemed to have fled, but tears shone in Noelle’s eyes.
“Yes, I’m talking about that moment, that one excruciatingly long moment that seemed to mean more than all the others that came before it. The one that taught me I was helpless. But I was listening to the wrong message. Sometimes we don’t see things clearly until we’re on the other side of it. I would never have had what happened to my friend happen, but I can’t change that. All I can do is look for meaning, and here you are, Noelle.”
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
In all the misery she’d gone through agonizing over Armie, she’d found this one truth. “I mean if that day doesn’t happen, I don’t come here. If I don’t have that gun aimed at me, watching my friend die in front of me, I don’t question everything I’ve ever known about myself. I don’t make the illogical move to come to a crazy town where the brightest young lady I’ve met in a long time isn’t getting the treatment she needs. If I hadn’t grown up poor, I probably don’t become a nurse and I don’t end up here and I don’t meet your father. And you don’t walk. This is my calling, Noelle. You. Right here and right now. So don’t think you can sway me. Don’t think you can push me off. You will try. I will give you everything I have and even if you never walk, I will help you become independent so you can have the life you deserve.”
“Noelle, you will do everything she tells you to do,” a deep voice said. She turned and Armie was standing there. Armie, her big, strong sheriff, was standing with his hat in his hand and tears in his eyes. He seemed to suck those up as he looked at his daughter. “Go on, now.”
Noelle’s jaw firmed. “You’re taking her side?”
“No. I just realized that she was always taking your side and I was siding with my own guilt. Get on the bars,” he said, striding over to them. He looked to Lila. “How can I help her?”
Finally he got the point. It broke her heart that it was far too late for them, but it wasn’t for Noelle. Noelle could still get everything she needed, and that included a couple of people who cared about her enough to not give up. “She’s got great upper-body strength. We’re going to get her on the bars and see what happens. Armie, this isn’t going to be pretty.”
“No, this is going to be painful and rough,” he replied, his voice hoarse. “It’s going to take incredibly hard work, and it might not pay off.”
“It will. Whether she walks or not, she’s going to know that she tried. She’s going to be stronger even if she fails. We learn everything important in life from failing and trying again.” God, she hoped so, because some days those lessons were all she had. That and a prayer that everything she’d been through would be worth it.