She could hear it in his voice. She should get the hell out. She should run as fast as she could. He was in a nasty, predatory mood. He was dangerous—not to her body, but definitely to her heart.
It was stupid. So stupid. Any woman with half a brain would be out the door, but she put a hand on his knee, her heart thundering in her chest. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”
It was the closest she could come to saying I want you. She waited for him to reject her. He would be smart. He would spare her. God, what was she doing? She’d been falling madly in love with both Gideon and Reid for the six months she’d been working for them. They worked so much—sometimes twelve hours in a day—that they had formed this odd little family. Her own parents were gone. She didn’t have any friends since her divorce. It was her and Gideon and Reid. She knew she’d never have Reid. Why was she risking everything?
Because she couldn’t stand that look in his eyes. Gideon’s normally warm eyes were cold, flat stones.
“It won’t be pretty, love. It won’t be soft. It won’t be sweet.”
She laughed, but it was a bitter sound. At least they were on the same page. “It might not be worth much at all. According to my ex, I’m not good at it.”
She knew what “it” was. He was talking about sex. Dirty, filthy, potentially mind-blowing sex. She was gambling a lot. He was hurting. He’d recently broken up with his fiancée. Was she taking advantage of him?
His hand came out and for the first time there was a spark of life on his handsome face. He wrapped his fingers in her hair. “Is this the same ex who told you that being rough was wrong? That you were wrong for wanting a bite of pain?”
She could still hear her ex complaining that she wasn’t a real woman because she wanted to try some rather unconventional things. “Yes.”
“Tell me something, love, did he ever make you come?”
Tears pricked her eyes. “I don’t think I can do that. It’s okay. Not everyone can, but I wanted to try. It doesn’t matter. I want to help you. We can help each other get through the night and then we can go back to being friends.”
“So fucking naïve.” He tightened his hands in her hair, the pain making her hiss slightly. “I don’t think we can ever go back. I don’t think you’ll feel the same way about me once we’re done. But you will come. I swear to god, I’ll have you screaming. One last chance, Jessica. Run away now or stand up and take off your clothes with the full understanding that I’m in control until morning. You will obey me.”
The very words made her blood heat up. How long had it been since she felt this way? Maybe never. She had been a “good girl” for so long. She’d played it right. She’d never slept with a man outside of her husband, and her loyalty hadn’t bought her anything beyond half of his debt.
Gideon Michaels was so far out of her league it was ridiculous. She was passably attractive, but he was a Nordic god of a man. Six foot five inches and roughly two hundred twenty pounds of pure muscle. He was all Alpha male and yet he’d always been sweet to her.
What would a single night with him hurt? She would never get the chance again. He might never give her another chance to be close to him.
She got up on unsteady feet.
“Smart girl,” Gideon said on a low growl. “Run away. Run away for all our sakes. I’m not good for anyone. I’m not good for you or Reid. I’m better off alone.”
His voice was hard, but she could hear the lonely boy in there, the Gideon he thought no one saw. Late at night when he was past tired, she could look beyond his perfect face. He was a man trying to build a life, hiding much of himself. She wasn’t sure what he was hiding, but he was afraid of something.
So was she. She was afraid of so, so much. “Does your heart ache for her?”
She couldn’t stand thinking about what Anna had taken from him.
He shook his head as though trying to process the question. “Anna? I never loved Anna. Anna was arranged for me by my father. Anna was a means to an end. Anna was a compromise that’s going to end up costing me far more than money. Years and years I played the good son. But I couldn’t be the good son. Not deep down. I couldn’t cut it out of my soul. I didn’t even want to. You. You fucking walked in. God damn it, Jessica, I don’t want to dissect my engagement. Take your clothes off. Reid is right. Fucker’s always right. I was never going to be able to go through with it. Not since you walked in the door. Clothes, Jessica. Now. Make your choice.”