I watch him for a second longer before turning my gaze on Kai. “And what about you?” I ask, watching the way he stares at me through narrowed eyes.
His brow arches and I see the reasons that have been flying through his mind since our falling out all ready to be thrown at me headfirst. “I haven’t been around to kiss your ass because I’m not fucking sorry,” he says blatantly. “Look, O, I’m going to be real with you because it seems that all these other motherfuckers don’t have the balls. Am I sorry that you had a shitty father? Hell yes, I am. Am I sorry that you were dealt a messed up hand and had all this awful shit happen to you? Yes. Am I sorry about the way you found out? Fuck yeah. But am I sorry that I kept the truth from you and allowed you the chance to have a real relationship with your father before he was killed? Something that none of us ever got the chance to have? No. Am I sorry helping Nic put surveillance in the house you were raped in? No.”
I raise a brow, silently watching him as he continues. “There is not a damn thing that I wouldn’t do to protect you and your innocence, even if it means having you hate me for it. I’m sorry that you got hurt and that the way it was dealt with made you lose trust in me, but I’m not fucking sorry for doing the things I did that kept you safe and happy.”
I keep my gaze locked on Kai and feel the emotions well up inside of me. He was brutally honest and I can’t deny that what he said made me feel somewhat cherished. He said what he had to say without bullshitting his way through it like the others had. He was real with me and I appreciate that despite the way he admitted to not being sorry for half the shit he did. I understand it though and for that, I'm grateful.
I rise out of my spot beside Sebastian and Nic and cut across the small living room before dropping down onto Kai’s lap and folding into his open arms. “Thank you,” I whisper. “I still hate that I was left out in the dark for so many years but I understand it and I’m beginning to believe that if the tables were turned, I probably would have done the same thing for you guys.”
Kai nods and presses a soft kiss to my temple which is just about all the affection that he can handle. After saying what needed to be said, he instantly starts pulling away. Kai has the emotional capacity of a brick wall and sometimes, I absolutely love that about him.
Realizing that Kai is finished with me, Eli locks his firm grip around my upper arm and starts dragging me into his lap. “Get over here and love me,” he demands.
Just for the sake of it, I make him work for it, pulling away and squirming out of his grasp. I’m pretty sure that I almost kick Kairo in the balls at one stage and end up dropping like a bag of potatoes to the hard ground. Eli comes down on top of me, squishing me beneath his large frame while laughing in my ear. “Can’t get away now, can you?”
I jam my fingers into his ribs, laughing as I try to free myself.
“Dude,” Nic’s grunt comes over the sound of our howling snorts of laughter. “She was fucking raped. Ease up.”
When I say that this kid flew up off me like gravity doesn’t exist …
Eli stares down at me, horrified by his actions but I shrug it off as Sebastian offers me his hand and pulls me up off the ground like I weigh nothing at all. I walk straight into Eli’s arms and finally allow him the chance to feel at ease. “You know I love you,” he murmurs into my hair.
“I know,” I murmur, glancing up at the other guys while I speak. “But if any of you fuckers ever cross me again, there’s going to be blood.”
Sebastian winks while Kairo just smirks, probably thinking that he’s too fucking fast for me to get to him like that, and he’d be right, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying. Nic just stares, raising a curious brow. “So, does this mean you don’t hate me anymore?” he questions, knowing damn well that the role he played during all this was a shitload worse than the rest of the guys.
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t hate you, Nic. I could never hate you and for the most part, I've started to move on. I don’t like holding in all that anger toward you, but learning that you’re the reason the DeCarlo’s came down on us in the first place … well, that still hurts.”