Tears silently dripped down my legs. “Brock, I needed you to come home. Your family needed you.”
“The hell you all did. Look at what I did to you. You almost died because of me.”
“I didn’t almost die.”
“Dani, you were closer than you think.”
I shuddered from the force of his words.
“All you wanted was for me to love you and your baby. It’s all I wanted too, yet I pushed you away because I wasn’t man enough to understand and let go of the fact that you sought comfort with my brother. I pushed you so far you didn’t feel comfortable enough to call me when you needed me most.”
I wiped my tears because it was true, yet I also found I couldn’t stand the anguish he was in over it. “Brock,” I whispered. “I didn’t almost die because of you, I almost died because of complications with a miscarriage. And yes, I didn’t turn to you sooner because I didn’t feel comfortable, but there came a point that I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t move. I knew you would help me. When you found me that day, I felt saved.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better about it. I’m a bastard.”
“Sometimes, yes,” I teased.
He lightly chuckled.
“You are also the man who made my vision for Children to Love a reality. It’s always you who makes up for any shortages in donations around Christmastime, if needed. Not to mention you play a great Santa when I make deliveries. And don’t forget, you were trying to help a man when you were attacked. No one made you leave that base. And I know you will do everything you can for Asadi’s and Nicholas’s families.”
“I’m trying to get Asadi’s family into the US, and I’ve set up a trust for Nicholas’s wife and unborn son.”
I wasn’t surprised by any of this information. “All very non-bastard things to do.”
“I see what you’re trying to do.”
“You caught me. I’m sorry for trying to make you feel better. Would you like me to stop?”
“No,” he whispered.
“Okay. Do you want to finish your story?”
“No, but I need to, if you’re willing.”
“I am.” I sat still and waited.
“Dani, it all happened so fast. One second, we were driving down this rutted dirt road with our lights off, trying to remain undetected, and the next second, we were being showered by gunfire. We were in an unarmored car, trying to blend in. Asadi and Nicholas were in the front seat and each got hit. How I was spared, I still don’t know. Not even my bulletproof vest was hit. Asadi somehow managed to stop the vehicle before we crashed.” He paused for several moments, as if trying to catch his breath. “Nicholas began reciting bible verses, “Though I should walk in the valley of the shadow of death . . . no evil would I fear . . . for you are with me.” In between, he begged me to tell his wife he loved her. I yelled at him to hold on. I tried to stop the bleeding from his neck and arm, but another bullet sailed through the windshield and . . .” his voice shook.
I grabbed my knees tighter. My entire body tensed. “You don’t have to say, if you’re not ready.”
“His blood,” he cried. “I was covered in his blood. I can still smell it. Even taste it.”
I could hear his labored breathing through the phone. I covered my mouth, stifling a gasp. “Oh, Brock.”
Rushing out the words, he continued. “I was able to get Asadi out of the vehicle while I radioed the base for reinforcements. But it was too late. Those bastards shot at us at the exact spot where they wanted us to be. An IED went off, and the vehicle exploded. The last thing I remember, before I went unconscious from being knocked back from the blast, was watching my friend burn before my eyes.”
“That’s why they thought it was you,” I whispered.
“Asadi was my friend—it made sense that I would be in the front seat. Damn Nicholas, he gets carsick in the back. It should have been me.”
“Don’t say that. Please,” I begged.
“I dream every night that I’m trying to save them, but I never get there in time. I’m always too late. You’re there too. Not once have I saved you. Not in my dreams. Not in real life. What’s worse is, by marrying you, I fired the kill shot at you.”
“No, Brock. You gave me your name to protect me.”
“That’s not true. Hell, I didn’t know my dad was blackmailing you; I didn’t know you needed protection from that. I married you because I loved you. It had nothing to do with honor.”
“I think loving someone, especially when it’s difficult, is honorable. And you knew marrying me was protecting me from a firestorm, blackmail aside.”