Without thinking, I whipped my head toward Grandma in a panic. “Kinsley is a fighter, but this is one fight she needs to walk away from.”
Grandma leaned away, taken aback by my sudden reaction. “Is there something you want to tell us?”
Yes. So much. “No. It’s only Brant has made up his mind. And I don’t want Kinsley to get hurt any more than she has been.”
Grandma’s narrowed eyes started reading me like a book. Little did she know I was living out a thriller. “Everything all right? You haven’t been yourself lately.”
I knew she wanted to say since Brock had come home. On my wedding day, when she had helped me slip into my designer gown, she had whispered, “You don’t have to get married. I’ll go out there and tell everyone the wedding is off, if that’s what you want.” It was like she could see right through the fake smiles and tell that the tears were not the joyful kind everyone assumed them to be. Grandma was my mother in every sense of the word, and she knew me. However, she couldn’t know all of me anymore. I hated that as much as anything. “A lot has happened, is all. I’m trying to catch up.”
“Hmm.” She studied me some more. “Brock treating you well?”
“Like Prince Charming.” Which was true, since Prince Charming was make believe and so was my attentive husband. He had kissed me goodbye this morning before we’d both left for work and asked what he could pick up for dinner on his way home. This was all after making me a to-go cup of decaf coffee and packing me a lunch. I hadn’t had the heart to tell him I was meeting my family for lunch, so I’d taken the brown paper bag and coffee with a smile.
“You never liked fairy tales.”
“Not true. I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I think if we’re defining fairy tales as stories about magical people and lands, it qualifies.”
Grandma grabbed her sides and pretended to laugh. “You’re very clever. You girls always think you can outsmart me, but I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me the truth.” She stood. “I’m going to pretend to go to the bathroom so you can talk amongst yourselves about what you’re keeping from me.”
I watched her go, feeling worse than ever. It was one thing to lie; it was another thing to lie to your mother, your savior.
As soon as Grandma turned the corner, Ariana ran around the workbench and sat next to me. “So, when are you going to tell her about the baby?” she whispered.
I wished that were my only secret. “Soon. I was thinking after my next appointment, in two and a half weeks. I read it’s best to tell people after twelve weeks. That’s when the greatest danger for miscarriage has passed.” Which was technically this week. All I had to do was convince Brock it was time to start spreading the news. I wasn’t exactly sure how to broach that subject, since it was a topic we skirted around like the plague. I knew he had said after the first trimester was over, but was he really ready to play happy while being barraged with congratulations on his impending fatherhood? Perhaps his father had given him a pep talk about that too. Maybe his acting skills would cover this aspect as well.
She grabbed my hands, so excited. “I can’t wait to snuggle your baby.”
“Me either.” I had been dreaming lately of a little baby girl. She was perfect, with dark hair and smooth olive skin. She smelled heavenly, and when I cradled her against my chest, I swore it felt so real. So worth all the pain. This baby was like a beacon on a hill, helping me to put one step in front of another, no matter how long or how hard the climb was.
“How are you feeling? You look like you have some more color to your skin.”
“I’m feeling better. I still get nauseated, but mostly only during the morning. I’m still exhausted, though.”
“I bet Brock’s not helping out there.” She playfully nudged me. “These men. I swear all they think about is sex.”
I spat out a fake laugh before I cried, “Yep. Men.”
Thankfully, Kinsley walked in bearing bags of food and saved me from having to continue talking about my nonexistent sex life. “What are you laughing about?” she asked.
“Men.” Ariana grinned.
“If Brant is one of them, I’ve already seen the pictures and watched the newsclips.”
Ariana and I gave Kinsley our full attention.
Kinsley stood proud and as tall as she could, which wasn’t tall at all. “Jill looked absolutely ridiculous.” Kinsley shook her head in disgust. “She looked like a bucket of sparkles attacked her and she lost.” She laughed and we joined her. It was probably the meanest thing Kinsley had ever said in her life.