I held my hand up, not wanting any details. “You don’t need to explain. I knew my mother well enough to know she didn’t have a lot of inhibitions.”
Dean grimaced. “I don’t want you to think ill of me. I want you to know I don’t think of you as a mistake. I only regret not being part of your life before now.”
“I don’t think ill of you at all. Your father on the other hand . . .” I honestly admitted.
“As you should, love.” Sabine put her napkin on the table.
“We should probably go upstairs,” Dean suggested. “He’s more lucid in the morning.”
“You just be you and let it all out.” Sabine pushed her chair back and stood. “No one is going to judge you. Dad knows he’s in the wrong, so don’t feel like you have to go easy on him. And when you’re done, I’ll have chocolate waiting for you.”
I could already tell I was going to love this woman. “I always say chocolate makes everything better.”
“You are my kind of woman.”
“Are you ready?” Dean held his hand out to me.
I accepted his hand and a funny thing happened—I wasn’t as frightened. “I think so.”Chapter Thirty“I need to warn you before we go in.” Dean stopped us at the door. I could already smell the antiseptic as if we were in a hospital, but a really fancy one. “He doesn’t look anything like himself. He’s extremely frail and he goes in and out of consciousness, so don’t be alarmed.”
“I watched my mother die in hospice, so I understand.”
“Another thing I wish I could have helped you through.”
“Me too. But I had Jonah.”
“That was a long time ago. How come you and Jonah didn’t stay together?”
“I promise to tell you after we talk to your dad.”
“I would like that. Why don’t we take a walk afterward, just the two of us?”
“In the cold and snow?”
“I always find it invigorating.”
“Okay,” I agreed. It would be nice to have some alone time with him.
With that, Dean opened the door and peeked in. “Can we come in, Lisa?” Dean asked the nurse watching over Roger.
Lisa greeted us at the door. “He’s been expecting you. I’ll give you some privacy. Push the button if you need me. I just administered his pain medication, so he won’t be awake for much longer.”
“Thank you, Lisa. I’ll let you know when we’re through.” Dean ushered me into the low-lit room. A hospital bed sat squarely in the middle with monitors and machines surrounding it that were keeping Roger alive. They all seemed out of place in the handsome room filled with fine handcrafted furniture.
“Dad,” Dean whispered, “I’ve brought someone to meet you.” There was an edge to Dean’s voice. I imagined he was just as upset with his father as I was.
My eyes adjusted and I got a good look at the man who had taken it upon himself to alter my life, to orchestrate it, in a way. His sunken cheeks and sallow skin spoke to his body being ravished by cancer. He hardly had the strength to turn his head our direction.
“Ariana, is that you?” he croaked out slowly and painfully.
Dean gave me a little encouragement by pressing his hand to the small of my back.
I bravely stepped forward. “I’m Ariana.”
“Let me look at you,” Roger begged.
I took a few steps closer. Enough to see how yellow his brown eyes were, and the few wisps of gray hair left to him.
“You look just like her,” he cried and then coughed.
Dean rushed forward to help him sit up and take a sip of water through a straw. Once his coughing fit was over, he lay back down and closed his eyes for a moment.
“Why don’t you sit down,” Dean suggested. He pointed to the chair at Roger’s bedside.
I took a seat and Dean stayed by my side with a comforting hand on my shoulder.
Roger opened his eyes after a few moments and looked directly at me. “You’ve come to haunt me,” he said.
I shook my head.
“You’ve haunted me for a long time.”
I wanted to say he deserved it, but his frail state wouldn’t allow me to. Instead, all I could ask was, “Why didn’t you help me?”
Tears filled his blurry eyes. “I tried.” He still had some fight left in him.
“Your money?” I wasn’t buying that excuse.
“She should have taken it.”
“Maybe.” But I had been thinking about the money. “You had to have known the chances of her using it wisely were slim to none. And that any of the men she was with would have taken advantage of it. It wouldn’t have been much help to me. It would have only helped your guilt,” I stated boldly, but without the heat I would have used had he been in better condition.
Dean squeezed my shoulder, letting me know my words were spot on and he was there for me.