I didn’t know how long I slept, but when I woke, it didn’t feel like I had gotten in a full night of reprieve. My room was too dark, and I was groggy. But maybe I was dreaming because I could feel Jonah. He was stroking my brow and brushing back my hair. He sounded unwell; his voice was hoarse.
“Ariana,” he whispered over and over again. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing this tortuous dream to go away. I couldn’t afford to love him even in my dreams.
“Ariana,” his voice came again, but this time it was accompanied by a kiss.
My eyes flew open. I could make out a man’s shape kneeling near my bed, outlined in darkness. “Jonah,” I squeaked, “who let you in here?”
“I called Dani and told her what happened tonight, and she let me in. I’m sorry to wake you, but it couldn’t wait until morning.”
Panic overtook me, and I pushed myself up, propping half my body up on my pillows. “Is someone hurt? Whitney?”
He raised himself, but still remained on his knees. He ran the back of his hand down my damp cheek. I must have cried myself to sleep. “Shh. Everyone is fine.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest. “Then why are you here?” His words rang loud in my head that he was tired of the chase. I could hardly blame him, even though I never meant for him to feel like I had him on the run.
He sat on the edge of my bed. It was then in the dim light from under the door I noticed his eyes were brighter than normal because they were bloodshot.
“Have you been crying?” I asked.
“Would you think me less of a man if I said yes?”
“Of course not.” I rested my head on my knees. “Why have you been crying?”
“Because,” he scooted closer, waves of heat rolling off him, “I promised you I would fight for you, and tonight I didn’t. I broke my promise to you.”
“I’m the one who left.” I paused. “Just go home,” I begged. I couldn’t take the hope his presence brought.
His strong hand rested on my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Where’s Whitney?” emotion crept into my voice.
“She’s home, sound asleep with my parents and her mother,” he growled.
I stiffened at the mention of his parents and ex.
His thumb brushed across my cheek. “I’m so sorry for the way they treated you. For the way I treated you.”
“You? What did you do?”
“I knew you were upset about the letter not coming. I was stressed because of my parents and Eliza. I should have told them to all go to hell and brought Whitney over here.”
I closed my eyes. “Tonight was a good reminder. I don’t fit into your world. Your parents are never going to like me, and I’ve had enough of people who don’t want me or like me. I have a father and five stepfathers who never wanted me. I don’t need a future mother-in-law and father-in-law who despise me. Or an ex-wife who thinks I’m below her.”
“Ariana, please stop saying you don’t belong in my world. You are my world. After you left tonight, I made it very clear to my parents and Eliza that it is they who don’t belong. And if they want to be part of my life, and Whitney’s, they need to change their behavior, whether or not you’re part of the picture. But I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to,” he pled.
I opened my eyes and lifted my head. “How did they take that?”
“Not well at first, but then Whitney said, ‘Ariana is my best friend. She always helps me when I’m afraid and she does nice things for me. I love her.’”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. “She really said that?”
“She did.” He beamed.
“I love her too.”
“I know you do. Eliza knows it too, and that’s harder for her than she thought it would be, but I’m not making excuses for her or my parents. Whitney gave them a lot to think about.”
“I have no doubt.” I smiled thinking about that sweet girl.
Jonah moved in closer and placed his arm across me. “Ariana, please forgive me. I was a jerk tonight. I didn’t mean what I said. I will spend my last breath trying to convince you we belong together if that’s what it takes.”
“That’s not fair to you.”
“Then make it easy on me and believe me when I say there is no other woman I want to share my life with.” He rested his head against mine, making our noses touch. He nuzzled mine with his own.
A small giggle escaped me.
“I love that sound. I know it scares you to hear this, but I love you even more.”
I knew he did. And I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, but the words wouldn’t come. That scared little girl inside of me still lived. I needed to make her whole before I could say such things to him.