“Yeah, I know,” Zack said, cutting her off in midsentence. “The second time I saw her, in the art studio when she lost her shit and freaked out. When she was so terrified of me and hinted about this horrible thing I did. I told her to read my mind. It would be so simple, right? I told her to read my mind if she had any doubt, that she’d quickly know the truth and that whatever the hell she thought I’d done, she’d know I didn’t!”
Eliza continued to look puzzled. “So did she? You’re right in that if she truly has that ability it would be a simple solution. Then she wouldn’t be on the other side of this door scared out of her mind and upset over the idea of being in the same room with you. Obviously she didn’t—or couldn’t—otherwise she’d know, right? Why didn’t she, Zack? Wouldn’t she want to know the truth?”
Zack dragged a hand through his hair. “She told me she couldn’t. She said even if she could she wouldn’t. Then she said that I took that from her as well, and that it was the only thing she could ever thank me for. What the hell did she mean by she ‘can’t’? She made mention of never wanting to read anyone’s mind again. Said something about people being evil.”
Eliza’s eyes and expression were troubled. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t sound good. I think you should start there. Find out how or why she lost this ability. And you’re sure she was the real deal? I mean, was it something she claimed to be able to do or do you know for a fact she could?”
“Oh she was the real deal,” Zack said softly. “She hid it from everyone but me. She was terrified of what would happen if people knew. That she’d be treated like a freak and that she’d be a social pariah. You have to understand. Gracie lacked self-confidence. She was intensely shy and her self-esteem wasn’t the greatest. Her ability to read minds is what made her believe in my feelings.”
He broke off with a harsh laugh.
“Amazing, huh? She was able to read me like a book. She knew, and was confident in the fact, that I loved her. That what I felt for her was genuine. Her ability to read minds is what convinced her that I wasn’t fucking around with her or just trying to get into her pants. God, we waited. I never made love to her. She was too young and I thought we had all the time in the world. She would have given herself to me. She trusted me and believed absolutely that I loved her. But I wanted to wait. I didn’t want it to ever be in question that I, at twenty years old, took advantage of a sixteen-year-old girl. So it was my decision to wait. I wanted our wedding night to be special. It was a big deal to me that I would be her first—and only. That I would be the only man who ever made love to her.”
He broke off and covered his face with his hands.
“God,” he said, his words muffled by his hands. “Her first time was horrific, violent, painful. Nothing like what I had planned. I wanted it to be tender, exquisite, loving. To be the ultimate expression of my love for her. Instead her virginity was brutally torn from her by fucking animals.”
Eliza’s arms went around him, circling his waist as she leaned in and pressed her cheek to his chest. She simply held him as his body heaved with emotion. He wanted to cry like a damn baby. He wanted to weep for all that he’d lost, all that Gracie had endured—and lost. And for what they could never get back.
“So she was able to read minds—your mind—and now she can’t?”
Eliza’s tone was skeptical. Zack found it hard to believe, himself. Or was she simply refusing to open herself up to more potential hurt? Maybe she was afraid to confirm her accusations. Maybe she couldn’t handle having her worst suspicions proved true.
No, that couldn’t be. Gracie had always been able to read every part of him. His deepest, dearest feelings. She knew the heart of him—had always known it. And she’d known he was utterly sincere in his love for her. She’d laughingly told him that being able to see his love for her was the best possible gift. That she never had to doubt because all she had to do was open her mind to his and his love for her flooded her heart, mind and soul.
And yet, despite being witness to his innermost thoughts, seeing the depth—and sincerity—of his feelings, knowing he loved her with all his heart, she honestly believed that he had taken part in something so horrific? That he was capable of doing such a thing to any woman, much less a girl he adored . . . How could she think such a thing for even a moment?
He was growing angrier by the minute. He’d been shocked. Devastated. Completely unhinged. Destroyed when he’d discovered the shocking truth. But now, after fully digesting it all, after the initial numbness had worn off, he was angry. No, not angry. Pissed.
He’d given her everything. His heart, his soul. She knew how much he loved her. So how the fuck could she, even for a goddamn minute, believe, honestly believe that he would have three of his friends horrifically violate her?
What kind of sick fuck did she think he was? And how . . . how could she possibly claim to have loved him if she was so willing to believe—to accept—that he had done this terrible thing?
He felt as betrayed as she believed herself to be. It didn’t make any goddamn sense.
“I’m pissed, Lizzie. God help me. I know it’s probably all kinds of fucked-up, but I am so goddamn pissed that I want to put my fist through a wall. How could she believe it? How could she have so little faith in me that she believes I did this to her?”
“I understand,” Eliza murmured. “I wish to hell there was something, anything I could do to help. This is so twisted and fucked-up. I mean I’ve never come across something like this, and believe me when I say, I thought I’d pretty much seen it all.”
Zack squeezed her tighter in his embrace. “Thanks for that. I feel so guilty for being angry, but goddamn it! It all goes back to how she could possibly think that I would do this. She knew me better than anyone!”
Eliza pulled, lifting serious, somber eyes to his. “There’s something missing here, Zack. Something we aren’t aware of yet. Something huge. Until you know what that missing piece of the puzzle is, nothing is going to make sense. Hopefully she’ll open up to you. So the two of you can talk and make peace with the past. Neither of you will ever be able to put this behind you until everything is revealed.”
“I just wish I knew what that was,” Zack muttered. “She’s not exactly giving me much. I only found out about what happened because of Sterling. I don’t think Gracie would have ever told me. And now I don’t know what to do. Do I pretend I don’t know what happened? Do I play dumb and wait for when or if Gracie opts to confide in me? Or do I confront her with what I know and demand to know why she’s so convinced that I had a part in it?”